Most of us understand what being emotionally unavailable means, but do we also understand what it means to be emotionally mature?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
1. Are you aware of your daily emotions, and do you acknowledge them?
When you are comfortable with who you are as your authentic self you are aware of your emotions and you own them. If you are feeling sad, angry or joyous and happy, you embrace these emotions openly with yourself, and your loved ones.
You are not hiding behind a facade and communicate freely, regardless of which mood is affecting you. You understand that every day will not have the same flow and that life throws you curveballs to help you evolve to a higher place of self-love.
If you are single, this really helps you in your dating life when are hoping to meet a potential partner to have a relationship with. It is so refreshing to talk with someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves. Being playfully open and confident with how you come across will keep your date interested and want to know more about you. There isn’t any BS or head games being played. This will always get you past the first date until you decide whether there is a reciprocated connection happening or not.
2. Are you responsible for your personal thoughts and easily communicate within your relationships?
When you are emotionally mature you comprehend that there are two people in a partnership who are both responsible for what is, or isn’t said between you as a couple. There is an understanding that relationships need to be nurtured, appreciated and never be taken for granted. Love needs to be reciprocated and if one person isn’t being respectful in this manner, things will eventually become unbalanced.
Lack of mature communication complicates the partnership, and is a very big reason that some couples do not stand the test of time in their commitment. Conversations don’t always have to be perfect, it just means that you are talking to each other about your real thoughts and feelings, to keep things on track between you. You are not letting things fester if there is an issue, and you are also telling your partner positive feelings as well.
It is so important to realize that if the communication dies, the love that was once shared between you both can fizzle out beyond repair. Please don’t bury your thoughts behind a wall that your partner can’t reach. It’s not their job to figure out what you’re thinking or feeling. Leaving them in the dark is a big mistake and eventually tarnishes the closeness you had.
3. Do you honor your life choices and learn quickly from your mistakes?
Before you even meet your partner you have spent many years figuring out who you are and what you want in your life. Your partner should be an extension of who you already are when you attract them toward you. This is why you should honor the choices you have made thus far and appreciate some of the mistakes it took for you to get here.
When you respect the path you have walked on, you will continue to celebrate every birthday with a new attitude of gratitude. When you are thankful for life’s annoying ups and downs that you have endured, you understand why you had to go through some of those tough times. It has made you stronger and much wiser than if you just lived a treadmill life of a passive existence. You tried something that maybe didn’t work out but you are more experienced because of it.
Not being afraid of trying new things is a big education all in itself. You understand that there may be a few reprecussions that occur, but you’re willing to take the chance. That is such an optimistic approach and offers you an exciting learning curve that keeps giving back.
The more adventurous you are, the more self-sufficient and interesting you become. People enjoy who you are and want to be around you. You are not holding onto what didn’t work out, you quickly get up, dust yourself off and continue on to new challenges and life evolvement.
4. Can you easily apologize and take ownership when you do something questionable in your life?
This is such an amazing trait to have when you take ownership of your mistakes and easily apologize to others you may have hurt. You understand that you don’t always have to be right and that it is OK to show vulnerability once in a while. No one is perfect and we all do questionable things that may affect other people in our lives. It is important to learn from the mistake and forgive yourself moving forward.
When you are mature enough to know you messed up and want to better the situation, your life with have so much more harmony within it. The people in your life will always know where they stand with you because of your honesty and openness. Be very aware that this should be a reciprocated gesture within your partnership and friendships as well.
When you are sincerely sorry and apologize from the bottom of your heart, you also learn a valuable lesson. The key to understanding emotional maturity is not to repeat bad patterns. Saying your sorry has to come from your soul with the deepest sincerity to be valid and appreciated. They are not just words to temporarily stifle an argument or hurtful scenario.
We talked about what is means to be emotionally mature but how do I learn how to get there in my own life?
- Pay attention and take note of what triggers your feelings of anger, sadness, frustration or jealousy. Avoid putting yourself in these situations as often as you can.
- Write down and journal any mood changes you feel on a daily basis. Where were you, what were you doing at the time, and who were you with?
- Who are the top 5 people that you spend the most time with in your life? How do they make you feel when you’re with them? You might need to change this up if you notice a negative mood occurring whenever you are with certain friends. You should feel happy and lifted up when the right people are in your friendship or dating/relationship circle.
- Change up how you judge people. If it is too harsh it will only cause your own life to feel pessimistic. Looking for fault in others is usually due to envy or jealousy as to what isn’t transpiring in your own life.
- If you are single and dating without a successful outcome, revisit your profile if you are dating online. Ask a coach or friend for their viewpoint on what may be in need of some changes. Try dating someone you may not normally be attracted to change up repetitive experiences. You may “have a type” that isn’t healthy for you. Give people a chance and don’t walk away too quickly unless your instincts tell you there is a safety issue. If you are doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same negative results, something needs to be altered.
- If you are in a committed partnership but having problems communicating and sharing your feelings, try writing them down for your partner to read. Making an effort to communicate is a much better approach than closing off and shutting out your partner. They will appreciate and encourage your intentions. You will also eventually learn how to speak openly with your partner when you start to see how valuable it is to re-connect in your relationship.
- Find a purpose in your life that makes you feel valued and brings you joy! This will not only give you a heightened confidence, it will eventually take away self-doubt and lessen your insecurities. We all have something that we are good at, but sometimes we have to pull it out of ourselves with a little reflection. What brought you happiness as a child? What are you passionate about? When are you the most happy and what makes you laugh?
- Make up a small list of emotional conquests that you would like to achieve. Plan a monthly goal of crossing something off on that list. It could be something as simple as telling your partner what you love about them or talking about your fears and what you need, to help you overcome them. In other words show some vulnerability by making an effort to become more emotionally mature within your relationship.
It is ultimately your choice on how you handle things moving forward. Do you want to evolve to be the best version of yourself, or will you continue to hold onto feeling stuck in an emotionally unavailable mode? When you are in tune to your emotional well being, you are generally happy for others as well as yourself. You look at the glass as half full and seldom intervene in negative situations. You have a full life and attract positive like-minded people toward you.
Emotional maturity isn’t always a natural gift of life and it often comes from dealing with the trials and tribulations of just being a human being. Some people grasp the importance of this maturity faster than others, but we are all capable of having it. This can be achieved by having healthy boundaries, being grateful for what you have, asking for support when you feel alone, and giving support to others when they need it as well.
Life is all about love at the end of the day. When you learn how to love and appreciate yourself first, you also gain a maturity that enables you to give love to others as well. Shutting the door on your emotional availability shortchanges your happiness in a very big way and will impede you from finding the powerful love you deserve.
Having a positive mindset and being in charge of your thoughts and feelings is really up to you but it is truly worth the effort made, to discover the best version of who you are at the core.
*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s topic:
Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤️
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