My Boyfriend Hasn’t Said I Love You After 6 Months!

 

Today’s post and video is a question from Niki. She wants to know why: My Boyfriend Hasn’t Said I Love You After 6 Months!

Dear Sybersue,

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now.  He hasn’t said the “L” word at all yet.  We have an amazing relationship and see each other 4- 5 times a week. I feel like he is falling in love with me by certain things that he does or says but I don’t want to assume anything.

I’m supposed to wait until he says “I Love You” first, right?

A friend told me that some guys wait until they are with someone at least a year before saying anything. That seems like such a long time! Is that true???

Niki

Dear Niki,

There are so many factors that play a part in the answer to your question. Six months is usually the appropriate time frame to start assessing the reality of your relationship. We can all be on good behaviour for the first few months. It is what happens after that time frame that becomes the true test of a relationship.

I respect your boyfriend for not blurting out the “L” word too soon. Many guys think they have to say it in the first two months. Unfortunately, some say it, whether it is sincerely meant or not. That being said, I personally believe a year is a long time not to hear these words. This is especially true if you are in a committed relationship and see each other often.

When two people really LOVE each other, it is harder not to say “I Love you” than to say it.

This is going to sound sexist, but I have always preferred it when the man leads with saying it first. Some guys get scared off by aggressive women who say “I Love you”, too quickly.  Of course, this isn’t set in stone and today things are different in the relationship world. It is up to you to weigh that out in your own personal relationship.

It sounds like your boyfriend is making you feel good when you are together. Do you really need to know anything else at this point? You should have your answer within the next few months. Many women become emotionally connected too soon when there is intense chemistry and great sex. They think that they are in love; when in fact they have fallen in “lust!” When men finally say “I Love You” after an extended period of time, they usually mean it.

Things are going great between you both right now. In answer to your question, Niki, I would be patient a little while longer. He seems like a wonderful guy who respects you and is committed to you. In a few months, if you are really concerned about your position with him, gently ask him about his feelings towards you. Maybe there is something he is afraid of from his past relationships or his family life? You have a right to know where your future stands with him.

These questions below are something that you should know about him and they will help you to understand him better.

1. Was he deeply hurt by a woman before?
2. Has he ever been in love? (He may have commitment issues or emotional demons.)
3. Was his childhood a happy place?
4. Is he close to his parents and has a healthy relationship with them?
5. Does he show love to other people in his life?  In other words is he capable of showing that side of himself or is he removed?
6. Is he affectionate with you and are you sexually compatible together?
7. Has he told you that he wants to be in a committed partnership? Listen closely to what he says to you. If he tells you he doesn’t want to get married or have a family, it is important to hear him.

If he is a happy guy and comfortable in his own skin, he is probably making sure of the timing. When he does tell you he loves you, he wants it to be the perfect moment. If he is loving, puts you first and is proud to be with you, he is definitely on the path to saying it soon!

Listen to your intuition in the next few months and watch his body language as well. You don’t want to be the last to know you are “Mrs. Right Now” and he just “really likes you.” You don’t want to spend 2 years with someone and then find out he is happy being in a “friends with benefits” based scenario.

Be mindful of pressuring him for an answer. I strongly disagree with giving a man an ultimatum scenario. It is important for him to want to be with you on his own accord. He should not feel forced into a marriage or commitment.

What does your gut really say? Your instincts are seldom wrong and are your best guide. Listen carefully.  Most of those wrong decisions we make in our lives is due to ignoring those powerful spidey-senses.

Wishing you much love and happiness Niki ~ Keep me posted!! Thanks for writing.

Please watch the video below for further information on this advice question.

xo Sybersue

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