Dating Advice: Bring Back the DIARY!

Keeping a Diary
Keeping a Diary

I first started to write when I was 10 years old and haven’t stopped since. As a very confused young girl I didn’t have a mentor or confident that I could go to for help with the numerous questions I had in life. I actually had an old fashioned diary that I wrote my every thought in on a daily /weekly basis. It became my trusted friend that I could vent to without being judged and it allowed me to express my thoughts as honestly as I could. It actually pushed me to discuss things regularly because it became my “safe place” to go.

What are the benefits to writing down your thoughts?

  • You would be surprised how therapeutic it is!
  • It allows you to think about things before you vent them out loud.
  • It prevents you from texting or emailing someone before you have time to analyze a heated situation.
  • Reading over some of your thoughts a few weeks later can add clarity to what you might not have seen at the time.
  • It can show a repetitive pattern in how you handle things especially in your dating life!
  • It may make you aware of things that are really bothering you internally that you are uncomfortable discussing out loud.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by reading over our thoughts that we put down on paper. (There is something calming about holding a pen in your hand and writing the old fashioned way.) After reading my diary again in my early 20’s, I realize how messed up I was as a teenager and how much drama I had allowed into my life! Reading it all again actually helped me grow in a new direction. I was still repeating some emotional mistakes that I clearly saw in my written words 7 years previous! That was a big wake up call.

Your childhood and teen years can really play a huge part in your dating, and future career choices. These are the formative years and the foundation of who we are. This doesn’t mean if you have an unhappy situation that it can’t be corrected with a new change of course, but you have to be able to “see and own” the problem before you can correct it.

Some people think of their diaries as a special friend, even going so far as to name them. Anne Frank called her diary “Kitty.” It became Anne’s personal space where she could always visit. This may sound very sad to most people, but staying in touch with one’s self can keep you sane in times of loneliness. Knowing who “you” really are is a reality not everyone embraces. Loving and appreciating yourself is a maturity that helps a person reach new goals, because they believe in themselves.

Keeping a record of your daily life provides you with a tool with which to reminisce, providing an album of past thoughts, feelings, and life events. In other words a diary or journal can be used not only as a tool for great memories but also as a cure for past hurts. This can help a person to see his or her perspective of those situations as they were being experienced. Self awareness is always a learning process regardless of each approaching birthday. Life lessons are continually put on our path until the day we leave this earth.

Many people do have a Daily Journal but how many actually take the time to write down their personal thoughts? I am surprised how many individuals are open to saying they see a therapist or that they are taking anti-depressants but do not take the time to write out their feelings.

There are Dating Diary Apps that you can buy online which have entries for their photos, date locations, what you wore, first moves and odd or interesting facts. This is probably more for “serial daters” who want to keep track of their numerous conquests so they can keep it in check should they date them again! It may save some embarrassing moments down the road! Not that I am condoning this type of dating behavior. 😉

Marilyn Monroe kept a red diary that was said to have caused some havoc with Robert Kennedy and his “people” due to its contents. A diary is supposed to be personal and it is really nobody’s business but yours. Be careful if you are dating high profile types or someone who is married! (Look what happened to Hollywood Madame Heidi Fleiss, with all the celebrity client information she had written down for her business!) Today there are more condemning problems with online content than anything written, but it is still wise to keep anything you write about private.

Tuck your diary away for safe reading every few months to see how you have evolved. It is a great keepsake for later years when you want to walk down memory lane. It is amazing how many experiences we forget we had and how important a role some of them played in our future growth. It is never too late to start a diary and never too late to learn who you are. Our thoughts become actions so writing them down and seeing them in print will help you to see what is working and what may need some attention. Whatever the case, it will help you grow into a better you.

Susan McCord @

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