Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Coming to this video and post today is a big step.
It helps identify the root of how your childhood may affect your love life as an adult. The most important part of changing repetitive issues in your life is understanding that there is a problem.
Healing the Past: Learning to Love After a Loveless Childhood
Many men and women are dealing with this exact scenario. If you weren’t shown love as a child, it can be difficult to choose the right path when it comes to love as an adult. Navigating relationships becomes challenging. Quite often, people will build up a protective wall. They won’t allow themselves to enter into a partnership. These behaviors occur because they have trust and self-esteem issues.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Searching for the wrong type of love can also happen when you come from an unloving childhood. If you are repeating dating and relationship patterns that don’t work out, you may be stuck in a behavioural habit. The main reason for this is that you honestly don’t know what you are looking for! You keep looking for love in all the wrong places.
You can become very clingy when you weren’t shown love from your parents as a child. Not only that, but you may also become dependent on the wrong people that you attract toward you. This happens because you are so afraid they will walk away from you. This can make the road ahead in your adult life a long learning curve that keeps you feeling very lonely.
You might become emotionally unavailable. This can happen if you don’t have role models to teach you about what it means to be in a loving environment. This lack of guidance can contribute to emotional unavailability. You are probably not even aware that you are emotionally shut down. You continue to have trouble allowing and receiving love into your life. Furthermore, you subconsciously sabotage it from happening because you don’t feel worthy of having it.
Childhood pain is not easy to repair without some professional guidance.
Childhood sadness often stays ingrained in your mindset. You need to find a way not to let it control your daily thoughts. It can also affect your health and well-being. Burying it within doesn’t make it go away. The best way to exorcise those haunting memories is to seek help from a therapist who specializes in childhood neglect.
It’s not your fault that you weren’t loved as a child.
One challenging aspect of moving forward from a lonely childhood is self-blame. We often think it’s our fault when we weren’t loved by the people we are supposed to feel safe with.
Dear Sybersue
Overcoming a loveless home life is very difficult to do on your own when your emotions are shut down. How can you deal with the problem? You must be aware of how to open up and share your feelings. If you are fortunate enough to feel emotions, take the time to write down your thoughts whenever you do.
It is much easier to fix an ongoing issue when you understand what brings on a certain emotion. This can really help your therapist to get to know you. They can understand any behavioural triggers that are controlling your thought process. Damaging internal dialogue can be managed when you do the work to unravel the messages that are stuck. Pretending that something isn’t causing you pain just prolongs the burden and keeps your emotions held hostage.
Do not ignore the internal messages you are receiving!
Getting past any trauma that occurs in your life should always be acknowledged and dealt with. These painful things don’t just disappear. You are tired of hearing those voices that keep reviewing the same disheartening messages. Unfortunately, they are being replayed until figure out a way to work through them.
- Surround yourself with men and women who are loving and caring. The more you remove yourself from people who make you feel stressed or anxious, the better you will feel overall. It is always wonderful confirmation to be around and see what a loving friendship or relationship consists of.
- Set some new healthy boundaries. It’s OK to say no. Do not allow yourself to stay in an environment that you don’t trust or that makes you feel unbalanced.
- Don’t be hard on yourself. Understand that things won’t change overnight, as they have been embedded in your mind for a very long time. It is a process.
- Acknowledge your emotions, no matter how small you think they are. It will feel foreign and uncomfortable at first, but it is a step in the right direction. You are moving away from being closed off or feeling numb. These emotions act as stepping stones. They also help you to comprehend why the pain is there in the first place.
- Take time each week to do nice things for yourself. You need to appreciate how special you are. This way, you can eventually let someone in who loves and appreciates you as well.
- Listen to your instincts! Do not allow yourself to feel unsafe in any of your surroundings or with anyone. Your gut knows danger, so please don’t ignore it.
The most important message I want to get across in this post today is that you absolutely deserve love. You are worthy of having it in your life. It is not your fault that your parents weren’t loving and nurturing toward you. Something is missing in their own lives, so they weren’t capable of being better role models for you. That certainly doesn’t make it OK or mean that they get a pass. It means they have issues and negative behavioural patterns from their own childhood that they never dealt with.
I know this all too well on a personal level. I have this blog site because of my childhood environment. The trials and tribulations I faced were significant. It took me a long while to get myself in a healthy place. I also needed to understand the true meaning of love. I am thankful every day that I took the time to figure things out.
This is why it is so crucial to deal with this issue within your adult life. You need to break the pattern of repeating this with your own children. It is also important for their children as well. Sometimes you have to deal with the pain to remove the pain. Kelly Clarkson sings it well!!! “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” ❤️
*Please watch the video above to see what you can do to help remove this childhood trauma and learn how to bring the love you deserve into your life.
Sybersue xo
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram
