Welcome to Dear Sybersue. Today I discuss a viewers question: Breakup Advice – I Lost Most of My Friends Along With My Ex! How do I not feel lonely and insecure after my breakup?
This is a really good question and applies to so many people.
Breakups are one of life’s most painful ordeals and not easy to deal with even when you are the one who ended things in the relationship. There are so many variables that make things complicated and can be very overwhelming to most couples experiencing the end of a partnership.
A breakup can feel even worse when most of your friends stop contacting you but they are still seeing your Ex! This is why it is so important to nurture your long term friendships pre-relationship so that they will continue to be supportive during the tough times and vice versa. It is a two-way street.
Many people put their friendships on the back burner when they meet their partner, but giving up your life to be with someone else is a big mistake. Your friendships are big a part of your history and the foundation that has made you who you are. Don’t become complacent and assume that these friends will always be there.
I remember when I was going through my own marriage breakup how alone I felt. I also had an 18-month-old baby to take care of which made things even harder. My friends were all young and single and we led totally different lifestyles. They were there when they could be but I still had to redefine my future and meet other single moms who also understood the dynamics of being a single parent.
I had a lot of responsibility in my childhood which prepared me to deal with the adversity I endured during my divorce. I became very independent and self-sufficient at a young age. The early life lesson I learned, was to always hold onto your own identity and never give all of yourself to anyone.
Self-respect is always your number one priority!
Don’t put all your eggs into one basket with anyone or anything in your life. Be as diverse as possible and take time to nurture yourself as well as others. Pay attention to the red flags in your relationship and be openly communicative with your partner.
Make an effort to get together with your friends and don’t be afraid to ask for their support. More often than not some people just don’t know how to deal with the aftermath of your breakup and pull back because they are uncomfortable. They don’t know what to do or say. You may need to guide them.
Some friends and family members will feel a strong loyalty to your partner due to obvious reasons. (They were there before you came along.) That is a natural progression after a breakup. It is difficult for everyone when they feel they have to choose sides and unfortunately that has to happen in some cases.
Please watch the video above to hear more about this topic and leave your comments below. I will always take the time to answer you back. Did this happen to you and how did you move on from this?
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