If you are always afraid your relationships will end, you are not alone!
This is a subject that is very common with men and women who are having trouble holding onto a committed relationship. Many people do not realize they might be actually subconsciously sabotaging their own personal happiness.
When you have a repetitive voice inside your head that continuously throws out negative thoughts about why your partnerships are always doomed to end, then unfortunately this will probably continue to be the case.
Make sure that you are ready to be in a relationship.
Pay very close attention to what messages you are putting out there. It doesn’t always have to be verbal. Your body language also plays a big part in your life and can tell someone a lot more than you may be aware of.
If you are saying or thinking that things will never work out, or finding the smallest things to be annoyed about, maybe it’s because you are the one who is not ready to commit to anyone. You might be the saboteur, not the person who you are dating at the time.
Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels
Sometimes when we point the finger at someone else, it is really us that needs to own why there is a problematic pattern in our partnerships.
Is your relationship fear due to trust issues?
Quite often when you come from a loveless/lonely childhood or a very difficult breakup that you went through in your early years, this can leave you feeling insecure about relationships in general. You were taught in your formative years that love hurts, which can cause you to build up an emotional wall to protect yourself from further pain.
Some of us learn quickly because we have loving support or role models to help us figure things out, while others have to take the long way around trying to find the tools to guide them to the right path.
We’re not all built the same way emotionally and we are all a work in progress fumbling along until we get things right in our life.
When it comes to matters of the heart we all have vulnerable moments and even the strongest men and women feel those painful scars that seem to linger longer than necessary!
Why is love so difficult sometimes?
Love is the universal language that everyone understands is important but many people don’t understand how to be emotionally available. They either bury their feelings, become possessive, or react harshly when hurt and are truly confused about what love actually means to them.
This causes all types of self-doubt and insecurities as the years pass by. This also changes how a person thinks and reacts when it comes to being in any relationship. “What’s the point in even trying, nothing every works out anyway!“
It is not necessarily that love is so difficult, it is more about who you choose and allow into your heart. No one said it was easy, but by being smart, paying attention to those early red flags, and listening to your instincts, it will help you find your special person in a much healthier way. There shouldn’t be continual drama with every relationship you have.
It is important after each partnership ends to take time to analyse what transpired.
Many people jump right back into dating without taking the time to grieve after a breakup. This takes any unresolved emotional baggage right along with them into the next partnership they end up in.
If this is something that is happening with you it’s important to talk to someone professionally about what you’re feeling and what has taken hold of your emotional fears. In fact, it is a great thing to do for yourself and can save you many years of heartbreak!
Relationships are powerful and when they end it is another life experience that either holds you back or helps you grow. It is up to you which one that is; you are in charge of who you attract towards you and who you allow into your life. Once you truly understand that, it is much easier to clarify what makes you happy.
If you are feeling anxious in most of your partnerships, it is time to figure out why this keeps happening. It could be that you are choosing a similar type and repeating a pattern that doesn’t work. Just because it feels familiar doesn’t mean that it is a good thing.
Sometimes we get stuck by choosing people who aren’t a good fit for us. We all need a self-esteem boost at certain times, but jumping into another unhealthy scenario just to get over an Ex is only a temporary fix and not fair to the person you are engaging with.
As you progress through the tough phases in your life it is so important to own the part you played to learn the lesson.
Change your attitude to change your life.
I am sure you have heard of the cliche; “look at the glass as half full instead of half empty.” Practicing this format is a good way to look at everything in your life. When you feel yourself being negative about what isn’t happening for you, change the thought process around in the opposite direction.
When you wake up in the morning start your day in a positive way by being grateful for what you have. This will branch out into all areas of your life when you continue to put this optimistic thinking outward on a daily basis.
Every time you feel yourself reverting back to your old thinking, forgive yourself and get back into that place of optimism. I find that animals, nature and children get me into a happy place when I feel stuck or I’m having some sad moments.
It is a great idea to sit quietly and repeat a few positive mantra’s throughout the day:
“I am excited to meet the special person that I will share my life with,” “I am worthy of having love in my life!” “I excited to start that job that I am interviewing for this week.” “I am financially abundant and grateful for what I have.”
You should always feel safe and loved when you are with the right partner.
Many people have asked me how they will know when they are with the right person and the first thing I say is; “there shouldn’t be too many questions.”
- The right partner will treat you with the upmost respect and vice versa.
- You will be each other’s top priority.
- Your communication skills will be open and reciprocated.
- You are both on the same page when it comes to love, romance and intimacy.
- There is repetitive laughter and you have a lot of fun together as a couple.
- You easily share your fears/desires and really listen to one another.
- There is no game playing, jealousy or drama.
- You always look forward to coming home and miss them when you away from each other.
- You both know how to say sorry when you have an argument or do something out of character.
- You are both emotionally available and know how to show your partner you love them. <3
Thank you so much for visiting me here today. I love to hear from you & will always take time to answer you back. Please watch the video above and leave your comments below!
Thank you!
Sybersue xo <3
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours.
Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube – Dear Sybersue Facebook
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column – Dear Sybersue Instagram