I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

Dear Sybersue does something a little out of the box today and talks about her own relationship.

How do you make a partnership work when you both enjoy different activities? When one of you is more extroverted than the other? Opposites attract but seldom stay together; so… can you compromise as a couple?

To maintain happiness in any relationship both people in the partnership need to make a continual effort and make each other a priority. That doesn’t mean you are together 24/7 or that you put your passions on the back burner; it means that your communication with them is reciprocated and respected.

You find a healthy way to be there for each other & make time for your own needs as well.

When we give up too much of ourselves while in a committed relationship that is the beginning of a downward spiral for many couples. Resentment then starts to play a big part in your everyday existence. This is one of the main reasons some people are opposed to being in a long term commitment! They feel trapped but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You don’t have to become another breakup statistic if you are really paying attention & listening to your partner. Do you really want to live with someone exactly like you??? Wouldn’t that be boring?

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You obviously don’t want to be at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but having a few interests that differ from your partner is a good thing. It’s healthy and gives you a freedom that many people lose when they become a couple.

When you grow together & keep trying new things, the diversity will be the key to a long & happy union. Embrace the differences that you both bring to the relationship! Who knows, you may try something new and actually enjoy it!

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
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10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication.  It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.

If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.

The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.

Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!

Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:

  1. Talk, talk,talk!

This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.

The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.

  1. Money is a big relationship Stress.

Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.

  1. Schedule in weekly date nights!

You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.

  1. Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.

A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.

It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.

  1. Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!

  1. Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.

As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.

Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.

  1. Be communicative & selective with your social activities.

Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.

  1. “Couples who play together stay together!”

Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.

Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.

  1. The little things count.

Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.

Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!

  1. Be kind to one another.

Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.

By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.

Susan McCord   @ sybersue.com       The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Love Guidance for Men & Women: Why do Relationships Have to Change so Much After the First Few Years?

It’s not always easy to keep a long term love alive but sometimes we need a little guidance to help us out of damaging patterns that keep us from making our relationship the top priority.  We absolutely can keep our partners continually happy over the years and it’s not as difficult as it seems.

Sometimes we don’t even realize we are slowly taking our relationship for granted  and we get far too comfortable thinking they are here to stay with us no matter what! This is a huge mistake and terrible place to put yourself because like anything in life it takes work to maintain our goals and passions.  Don’t let your love die!  It needs to be nurtured and altered in a way that keeps your partner attracted to you. This is a two way street with both people doing their part.

Don’t spend your days wishing things were different, make them different!

A few small gestures everyday keep the relationship respect intact. What do you have to bitch about if they are always making an effort to show you they care and you are important to them!? My husband leaves me a note everyday before work that I wake up to each morning. I make him lunch everyday with a few surprises here and there, wink, wink! I get foot massages and he gets me as a hockey fan at every game he plays. (OK, so I had to go through a first marriage to get it right in the second marriage. No one’s perfect!)

Don’t be another statistic in the divorce arena, make the effort now in this partnership. There is no room for laziness or being complacent. Do you want to go back out into the single’s market and then do it all over again? Get it right the first time and save yourself a Hell of a lot of heartache, drama and financial draining. You fell in love for a reason so hold on to that and keep those fires burning. I promise you it is possible to rekindle the spark between you if you both make each other a priority all the time.

A little communication goes a long way. ❤

Written by Susan McCord                 Dear Sybersue Facebook Page