10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

10 Top Tips to Help Rekindle Your Relationship

In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication.  It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.

If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.

The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.

Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!

Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:

  1. Talk, talk,talk!

This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.

The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.

  1. Money is a big relationship Stress.

Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.

  1. Schedule in weekly date nights!

You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.

  1. Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.

A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.

It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.

  1. Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!

  1. Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.

As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.

Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.

  1. Be communicative & selective with your social activities.

Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.

  1. “Couples who play together stay together!”

Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.

Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.

  1. The little things count.

Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.

Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!

  1. Be kind to one another.

Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.

By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.

Susan McCord   @ sybersue.com       The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Love Gone Wrong Could Be Something You Needed to Learn about Yourself!

Does love NOT come easy for you?

Are you having trouble maintaining a relationship?

We are the ones who are responsible for choosing the people we allow in our lives but when a relationship doesn’t work out we still want to put the blame on the other person. Why is that? Because then we don’t have to look too deep into what is really going on!

Life lessons can be difficult but they are much easier to move past when you take ownership of your actions and personal choices. It allows you to grow as an individual and become a better person with each “aha moment.”

Staying in denial and continually playing the victim, does not help you find happiness. It keeps you in a stagnant and negative alignment with everything around you.

If you find that you are becoming jaded or angry about believing in love, then it might be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. Are you sabotaging your happiness because of a deep rooted belief or hurt?

Any prolonged emotion that you “take on” is something that you really need to deal with. It can be all consuming and can lead you into the wrong direction over and over again. Don’t ignore your feelings; work through them.

Watch the video above to help you deal with another broken partnership. There may be something that you can change to help you meet the right person and have a long term commitment.

It’s never too late to be an even better version of who you already are. ❤

Please leave your comments below to let others know how you handled this situation .

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
The Dear Sybersue YouTube Talk Show
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Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Relationships: My Girlfriend is Losing Interest! What Should I do?

Dear Sybersue:

My girlfriend of 2 months is starting to pull away from me with no reason that I can think of. She just started not returning my texts and saying she was busy all the time. We started out so well and everything just clicked between us!

She is 38 ( I am 35) and has dated a lot over the years but has never really had a long term boyfriend. I did see a few things early on that made me question her commitment to me but I didn’t pressure her with questions and just kept things going in a non-aggressive way so that she had some space.

Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be working and I feel her moving further and further away from me.

I have fallen pretty hard for her! What should I do?

Cory B.

Hi Cory B,

Thanks for your question and I can tell you that you are not alone with this inquiry! I have had 5 similar emails in the last few months from both men & women.

It is a confusing time in the land of dating & relationships and there are more mixed signals than ever before! Part of the reason for this is the lack of real communication skills many people have from spending so much time online, rather that in a face to face scenario.

When we finally meet someone that excites us we go “all in” like a Texas holdem poker game betting on something we don’t know the outcome of but looks really good at the time!

Taking a chance on love is a good thing but we have to be smart and listen to our instincts before we invest our heart fully into this person we don’t know yet.

You said there were a few red flags that you noticed early on but you chose to sweep them aside. You also said she hasn’t had any real committed partnerships. Do you know why this is?  Have you actually asked her why she is pulling back?

When love is real there aren’t a lot of questions or any game playing. That is because there is a reciprocated respect for each other.

It is not your place to try to fix her or spend years trying to figure out why may be commitment phobic. All you can do is be honest with how you feel and if she is not into a relationship she needs to tell you.

The 3-6 month mark in a relationship is usually when things either start to improve or dissolve between a couple. If you are questioning everything between the two of you after 2 months together, you may already have your answer with which direction you are headed towards.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

 

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Me in My 20’s 2 days after I Delivered My Baby

My Pregnancy Memories Many Years Later: The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth.

When I talk to other women about their pregnancy days I often hear how precious and wonderful they were.  Seriously??? I wish I knew how to glamorize those barf filled days of morning sickness, the painful nipples, emotional mood swings and the hours of labor pains!  I have to say that my memories are as vivid today as they were many years ago.  OK; not everyone experienced my special moments of early motherhood but I am here to tell you the real truth about what actually happens in those 9 months for some of us.

I got pregnant when most women cannot conceive but I will spare you the details. I knew instantly when my size 36 A (if I pulled the straps really tight) boobs turned into 38 C’s in a short amount of time! I could actually crack walnuts and open a beer with my cleavage! This was incredible and I made damn good use of my new talent. (My husband had fun playing motor boat with them too!) Tight t-shirts were my wardrobe staple until my tummy started to take over in the latest body bump department. This is when I had to wear the large sweatshirts that said “No I have not eaten my way through the Oreo cookie factory, there is a baby on board!”

At the 4 month mark of my pregnancy I ended up moving to Texas from Vancouver, Canada for my husband’s job. I was on a leave from my flight attendant career so we decided to venture out on this new path for 1 year. We knew no one in Dallas and I spent most days alone in our apartment trying to keep my food down, watching The Price is Right and fighting off the crickets that seemed to come in through the chimney! There are some big ass bugs down in Texas!

As a very social woman it was such a big transition for me that I tried to have conversations with anyone who called the wrong number, the produce guy at Safeway and our poor mailman that obviously felt sorry for me. I even befriended a guy at our communal pool area that had just got out of jail for armed robbery! Sadly I’m not kidding but I can tell you I wasn’t bored on those afternoons!

After the barfing ceased, I got back into my gym routine. Most people had no idea I was pregnant but one guy did mention that I seemed to work out so hard but kept getting bigger and maybe I should change my diet. Yup, that’s what he actually said. It was really funny when I came back to the gym after I gave birth and he said “Wow that diet really worked, you’ve lost a lot of weight!” I just smiled.

I went to Lamaze class every Thursday and learned all sorts of things to be aware of during delivery. It’s not scary at all to learn that I could have my “Who Ha” sliced and stitched, a forceps delivery, an upside down baby (instead of sunny side up), a very long labor, a transitional phase that turns women into Linda Blair from the Exorcist movie, an epidural with a foot long needle, an emergency C section and a poop accident on the delivery table in front of the entire hospital staff.  Dr. Pickle, yes that was my doctor’s name, said not to worry and that everything looked fine. (Looking back now I know why I really did crave dill pickles for those 9 months that I saw him!) I swear if they showed those Lamaze videos before women got pregnant the population wouldn’t be anywhere near as high in the world today. Just saying!!

So guess what?

All those things I mentioned above pretty much happened to me on delivery day with the exception of the C-section. Oh and the poop part didn’t happen either because when the doctor asked me if I had eaten anything before I got to the hospital I had to own up that I had eaten an entire loaf of bread to try to calm down my stomach labor pains. (You know; the whole comfort food kind of thing.) Nothing like doing an enema with 10 interns looking on! I did end up doing the Linda Blair thing on my husband when he decided to put his feet up and take an hour nap while I was doing that breathing thing that didn’t work.

28 hours later after I got to the hospital I had the pain epidural and let me tell you they were not kidding in Lamaze class when they said it was a foot long needle! 9 hours later, yes count em 9 more hours, I delivered an upside down baby boy with the help of forceps after my “Who Ha” was cut and my not so funny husband telling the doctor to put a few extra stitches in there. (Which I am pretty sure he had never heard before!) Our baby was healthy and we were all amazed he didn’t have a cone head trying to get out of my love canal for 37 hours.  He was pretty cute actually!

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Children are Happy When Their Parents are Happy too.

We moved back home a few months later and I resumed by job at the airline. My husband & I divorced when my son was 18 months old and I became a single mom until he moved out at 19. There are many stories in those years that I could tell you about; like the one about my son growing marijuana in his toy box for 2 years and how I met the neighbors due to a party he had and all the barf (I do seem to love this word but my life was full of it all those years ago) dripping down their windows!  Yes, it will become my next book one day and I will probably title it something like “Teenagers are shitheads!”

Today my son is a head chef and doing very well. We are super close and always have been with the exception of ages 15-19 Lol. He is my sun, moon and universe and I am very proud of him and who he has become as a young man today. He came into my life for a reason and it was a powerful one.  He has taught me a lot about who I am. ❤

I remarried 8 years ago to an amazing man; I quit my job as a flight attendant, started a Lifestyle talk show, published a book, became a certified dating coach  and an advice columnist/blogger! I love my new life in my 50’s! Ohhhh and to top it all off, my boobs are back to an almost perky 36A and my “Who Ha” is just fine thanks to Dr. Pickle and keeping up my Kegel exercises!  (Sorry that’s probably too much information just as this whole article probably is too!)

All this bitching aside would I do it all over again?

Of  friggen course I would! Pregnancy and motherhood is not easy but it is the best gift life has to offer.  Although I now understand why God gave women the Uterus, because I don’t know any man that could get through one menstrual cycle let alone 9 months of pregnancy. We really are one strong group of amazing women and our children better kiss our slowly drooping ass for the rest of our lives. They owe us big time!

Moms rule and always will!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Dating Advice ~ Are You Tired of Being Single?

Dear Sybersue is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Advice Talk Show for Men & Women of all Ages!  Host Susan McCord discusses why you may still be single and how to change that!  Dating patterns need to be altered so that you can find a loving partnership.  Understanding how you play a part with your actions is the first step to getting there.

Many people are hurt, fed up or angry that they are not in a relationship but are also in denial as to why this is a constant in their lives. I truly feel that this is why dating has become a difficult place these days.  If we all just point fingers at each other blaming our past situations on what the future will continue to be like, we are going to be very lonely for a long time.

If something isn’t working why don’t you try everything to fix it if it is important to you?

YouTube and other social media has become a complaint center for many people regarding relationship or dating issues.  It is a place that they can openly state their view point anonymously which many choose to do.  Venting their frustration is one thing but not trying to find a solution is another thing.  Learning from our mistakes in life help us grow into better people but holding onto them and not improving who we are, is just prolonging the same old thing over and over again.

None of us are perfect and we all make some bad choices but those who move away from this repetitive negative cycle will find happiness faster.  Stop blaming others for how things turn out as it is “you” that ultimately makes the decisions in your life not them. ❤

Susan McCord ~ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Dear Sybersue ~ Should I Leave my Long Term Relationship to go to School in Another City?

Dear Sybersue Talk Show host Susan McCord answers Maria’s question if she should leave her boyfriend of 3 years to go to to school in another city. She has broken up with him 5 times but keeps going back.

What should she do?

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Sybersue on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/DatingRelationshipTalkShow