Style Lessons I Have Learnt From My Husband By STYLE-ETC

Style Lessons I Have Learnt From My Husband By STYLE-ETC

A post by my good friend Kathy Patellis-Schmidt 

Kathy-Patellis-Schmidt
One would not usually describe suit-clad business guys as fashionable, in actual fact a suit indeed isn’t fashion at all, but anti-fashion, but by Golly aren’t they stylish?! Having sneakily watched a few men work their wardrobes I see that I could learn a few style lessons from some of them.

So when I became one half of a couple with a man who has worked in business his whole career, I assumed I would be the one bringing all the style accolades to the table. Turns out I could learn a few tips and trick from my man. He has getting dressed down to a fine art, looking sharp wherever he is headed.

I thought I could catch him in a “got nothing to wear” moment but as I watched him work his wardrobe from Europe to Canada I realized I was jealous of his perfectly curated wardrobe, especially when I find myself always scrambling to pack for a short vacation trip or pulling something together for a dinner (yes even a stylist sometimes thinks she has nothing to wear).

Sadly, spending the last years working in the fashion industry has left me with a closet of lovely clothes and accessories, that sometimes overwhelm my confident sense of style, especially when I have to decide impromptu on going out for an important meeting or a casual lunch with a group of friends.

That is why I always say to clients; prepare and have pieces put together which you can rely on for any occasion. And the other thing is – learn a few tips from your boyfriend or husband.

Here are a few ways my well dressed husband has inspired me:

  1. Invest heavily in key pieces…. When I look at his closet, his uniform is obvious. He has got several versions of all the key pieces and accessories… pants, shirts, sweaters, jackets, boots.
  2. Don’t mess with trends, EVER…. The truth is, if you don’t like the 70s trend, or super skinny high-waisted jeans, leave them for someone else. Yes, this is easier for men, whose buying decisions are less trend driven than women, but that is a good lesson to remember. Buy what looks classically good on you. That way you will simply never go wrong
  3. Have a wardrobe for every occasion…. Just like you have your work and weekend wardrobe, invest in a few key pieces that hold up for any occasion. Black Tie, Ski weekends, or wherever else you may need to be. Especially if you expect to use these pieces a couple of times per year. It’s the last minute scramble that leaves you purchasing something you will likely never wear again.
  4. Care about construction and fabric above all else. Inspect the fabric and if it looks cheap, it does not make the cut. If I could spend the money spent at Zara, on designer clothes instead, I could have bought that black Dior jacket I always wanted by now, and I would be wearing it all the time, for many years
    Copenhagen Fashionweek SS2016
  5. When something fits perfectly…. Buy it in multiple. This fashion statute is not news. A black pant that fits like a glove does not come around often.
  6. Bespoke isn’t meant just for suits. Yes, we all know you can get shirts made but what about skirts, dresses or even jeans? If your body type is challenging in the retail space, try finding a tailor that loves to design and bring in some ideas of staples that you want them to create for you.
  7. Don’t neglect the boring stuff…. This is so important! Work clothes should all be about excellent fabrics and the perfect cut for your body type. This is what will make them work for you in the long term.
  8. Wear cool workout clothes and even make your after work lounge wear something you would be caught dead in.
  9. Invest in good quality lingerie for the sake of how it makes you feel.

Post by Kathy Patellis-Schmidt

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show

 

 

 

 

Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships (Zoosk Collaboration)

Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships (Zoosk Collaboration)

 by 

A happy couple hugging outside because they took these 5 tips for healthy relationships.

Top 5 Simple Tips for Healthy Relationships

5 relationship experts (, , , , ) share their #1 tip for maintaining a healthy relationship. Do any of these surprise you?

Having a successful and healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful and tedious work you might be thinking. You can have a healthy relationship by following just a handful of simple tips. We asked five relationship experts what their number one tip is when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Here are the top 5 tips for healthy relationships that anyone can follow:  

1. Avoid making assumptions about each other’s feelings, wants, and reactions.
When people know each other for a while, they can sometimes predict how their partner is going to react. However, when couples fall into a pattern of making assumptions about each other too readily, some significant problems may follow, explains licenses psychologist, Dr. Nicoletta C. Skoufalos. “Communication between partners can shut down over time. Partners may stop being curious about each other, and in fact may be making incorrect assumptions about each other that can lead to miscommunications. Additionally, people’s thoughts and experiences or even who they are can change over time. When partners make assumptions about each other they may fail to acknowledge how each has grown over time and this can create distance between them.” Continue to communicate about feelings, don’t hide your reactions, and always express what it is you need from your partner.

2. Focus on the positive traits of your partner.
Instead of focusing on flaws in your partner, which perpetuates negative feelings about the relationship, focus on the positive aspects of your partner. “It’s important to look for any positive qualities that you admire in your partner,” suggests Afton Strate, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist. “If you have experienced a lot of conflict in your relationship this may pose more of a challenge initially, but I encourage couples to find even small things that they can appreciate about their partner. When you have identified something that you like about your partner (e.g., their patience) it can be helpful to connect the quality with an experience that you’ve had with them. You can also reference qualities that initially attracted you to your partner or an aspect of their character that may have been demonstrated more recently.”

3. Couples who play together stay together, so have regular dates and take an annual vacation together.
Take turns planning weekly romantic date nights or date days. “Hiking, biking, skating or long walks are great things to do. Learn something new together as a couple such as wine making, snow shoeing, a cooking or dance class,” says Susan McCord (aka Dear Sybersue), a relationship coach and advice columnist. Then every couple months, even if it’s just a weekend, get away together. “Getting away from everything once a year is also a great way to stay close to each other. You can remove yourself from the everyday distractions at home and enjoy a fun new environment together. Diversity is the key to a strong relationship because things never get stale. You always have something to look forward to,” she adds.

4. Maintain your individuality.
Each person in a healthy relationship needs to know who they are and what makes them happy. “Many times when people begin a relationship, they try to please the other person and neglect themselves in order to begin the relationship,” explains Dr. Cherry D. Weber, a licensed clinical psychologist. “People ideally begin to develop who they are in childhood and build off this as they mature throughout their life. If both people have a healthy sense of self they can develop a good relationship by bringing their similar qualities as well as their differences to the relationship, and they won’t have one person dominate or overshadow the other.”

5. Choose the right person.
If you really want to know the key to having a healthy relationship, it comes down to who you select to be your partner. “Selecting the right person with whom to build a relationship and share your life is half the battle,” says Elly Klein, a relationship expert and writer. “Yes, you must find them attractive and enjoy their company, but they must also have a good heart, treat you well, and want to be with you. So don’t place all the emphasis on attraction and connection.” The bottom line is that if you’re only just physically attracted to someone and don’t really enjoy spending time with them outside of the bedroom—or if you don’t fully trust, accept, or respect them—the relationship will struggle to be healthy. Find someone else.

Some people will tell you relationships are work, and there’s some truth to that, but it’s also trivializing the matter. Relationships, and fostering healthy relationships, are about more than simply working at it. Your relationships are your life, they are living, evolving things just as you are. And as a result they should grow and change just as you do. As you grow in your relationship, keep in mind these five simple tips. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.

Susan McCord  @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Check out The Online Dating Site Zoosk! ❤     Ashley Papa at TheDateMix at Zoosk

 

A Good Laugh 80’s Video Dating Montage

A Good Laugh 80’s Video Dating Montage

Happy Friday Ladies!

Just when you think your dating life is a nightmare you get to see this video on how men in the 80’s put their best attributes forward!

It can only get better from here!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting Someone New!

Too Much Time With Your EX Sabotages Your Chances of Meeting Someone New!

Today in Dear Sybersue’s weekly video she discusses how spending too much time with your EX can sabotage your chances of meeting a new partner.

It’s wonderful that you can get along with your EX but they are your EX for a reason. If you are looking for a new relationship in the future, it is not a good idea to spend most of your free time with your past partner.

Think about it, how much time from your busy day do you have left over to give to someone else? Your kids, your job and your life activities take up the majority of the hours in your day but adding the Ex into the mix and there is nothing left over to even contemplate meeting someone else romantically.

Your priorities should be about moving on in a different direction that brings you happiness. Friends with benefits with your EX is not a healthy place to put yourself; it just prolongs the breakup aftermath!

It also can mess with your emotions; especially if the sex is really amazing! 

Be careful not to take on the attitude that this is a better place to be than being alone, because eventually your ex will move on completely when they find a new relationship. Just because you may not have time to date other people, it doesn’t mean they don’t.

These friendships with Ex’s are not usually reciprocated equally and one person ends up getting hurt all over again. 

There is nothing wrong with being amicable with your Ex and it is a good thing when there are children involved, but you need to keep a healthy distant so that you can move on freely to the next phase of your new life.

You are both wonderful people who just didn’t work out together as a couple. That’s OK. We grow at different stages of our lives and sometimes we just don’t stay on the same path. It is a great thing that you still respect each other but understanding how new boundaries are necessary, will allow you to move up the ladder to a more loving environment.

You can find love again. ❤

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan Loves to hear from her viewers & often answers their relationship and dating questions on her show as a topic choice. Please leave your comments below.

Susan McCord

Dear Sybersue YouTube

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Blogs & advice column

Relationship Question: Would You Choose Your Partner All Over Again?

Relationship Question: Would You Choose Your Partner All Over Again?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating and relationship advice columnist for men and women. In today’s video above, Sybersue discusses the question; “Would you choose your partner all over again?”

You will be surprised by the answers many couples give! What would you say when asked this question? What do you do if the answer is no? Can you fix things in your relationship? Do you want to?

Over the years many couples become complacent and just give up trying to keep the romance alive in their relationship because too many things get in the way!

Time with the kids, careers and financial stress take a toll on partnerships and if you don’t know how to balance this, your bedroom will end up being a boring platonic place just for you to sleep!

When the sex fizzles so do many relationships!

Why do people think it is easier to give up on their relationship than to try to keep it in the intimate place it was years ago when they first met? Yes it’s a lot of work but so is everything in life!

Is it really a better idea to just live in a loveless partnership or to have to start over again and go back out to the online dating scenario of the millennium?

Are either of those great options?

If there is anything salvageable within your long term commitment, it is worth making things right. If you have grown in different directions and really feel that things are over, it is time to move on so that you both can be happy.

Staying together out of fear or laziness is not being fair to anyone and you are shortchanging yourself and your partner.

With a little effort on both parts, a couple can stay in a healthy and loving partnership. There are many people who make it work! Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to answer “yes” to the question; “Would you choose your partner all over again?”

Wouldn’t it feel great to know that you didn’t ignore your relationship and made it a priority over the years and that you taught your kids what love really is?

Consistency, communication, romance, respect and putting each other first are relationship enhancers. If you keep all of those important factors of your partnership alive and it is also reciprocated by them, you will see how smoothly the years flow lovingly by.

Why wouldn’t you give it your all?

Questions for Sybersue? Download the free app and text her 24/7 at http://www.instantgo.com/dearsybersue

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTube

Dear Sybersue Facebook      Dear Sybersue Instagram

Taylor-Rae – “Incredibly Single” Music Video

Taylor-Rae – “Incredibly Single” Music Video

I met this incredible singer Taylor -Rae recently at The Roxy in Vancouver, Canada.  Not only is a very talented solo vocalist,  she sings in a band called Taylor-Rae & The Back Seat Drivers.

They are such a fantastic group and each one of them sings beautifully! They are a versatile band specializing in performing a variety of different genres from Top 40 to Country and even classic Rock.

taylor rae and backseat-laughing

Taylor-Rae and The Back Seat Drivers Band

The Backseat Drivers are a group comprised of Cody Fox, Ryan Brown, Blue Morris and Alex Caron. These talented musicians are extremely versatile performers who always amaze the audience with their vocal and instrumental prowess.

I am a huge music fan and adamantly watch The Voice and American Idol each season because I love to see new talent discovered! I would like to see Taylor_Rae try out for the Voice!! I also like to share other people’s content and give them a shout out. (Which I will be doing a lot more often on Sybersue!)

We need to be there for each other and appreciate the hard work so many men and women put in every day towards their passion! Tayor-Rae isn’t just all about country music either, listen to her sing Hello by Adele in the video below! ❤

Hello – Adele (Cover by Taylor-Rae)

Taylor-Rae Bio:

Taylor-Rae is a modern country artist from Edmonton, AB that has the ability to draw you into the story behind her music whether it is a lighthearted story of adventure, or a heartfelt ballad.

In Edmonton she performed at Canadian Finals Rodeo to over 1000 people, Big Valley Jamboree with 25, 000 people in attendance everyday, and was invited to sing a song of remembrance for an audience of 5000 for the Jace Harty Memorial Pro Bull Riding Event.

Since moving to Vancouver in 2012 for university, Taylor-Rae has only progressed musically learning guitar and piano to write her own songs and grow as an artist. Her dominant vocals has also landed her a notable position at Vancouver’s Talent Development Studio, Studio Cloud 30 teaching vocal lessons.

In addition to her solo music she is also apart of a unique choral group, The Top Line Vocal Collective. Top Line is an exclusive one of a kind choral group built on the foundation of harmony, rhythm and fun. This non-denominational, community-based vocal ensemble showcases 40 of the best voices in Vancouver through the sounds of traditional and contemporary R&B, Soul and Classic Gospel.

Through solo performances and performances with The Top Line Vocal Collective Taylor-Rae has played at a wide variety of venues and events including:

Honda Celebration of Lights, Pacific National Exhibition, Vancouver Celebrates Pride, Voices of Hope, Vancouver Christmas Market, Studio Cloud 30 Red Carpet Series, Kay Meek Mingle of the Jingles, Light the Night Vancouver, SFU Woodwards, The Roxy, Million Dollar  Round Table, Brilliant! 2016 and more.

This is just the beginning of a long road for Taylor-Rae, but she couldn’t be more excited for the ride and the people she will connect with along the way. 

I’m excited for you too Taylor-Rae!  You rock! Literally!

❤ hugs xo Sybersue

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Subscribe to Taylor-Rae’s YouTube Channel

Taylor-Rae’s Website

How Do I Prevent Losing My Independence in Another Relationship?

How Do I Prevent Losing My Independence in Another Relationship?

Dear Sybersue, 

Why do I keep getting myself into relationships where I lose myself in the process? Why do I end up being there for everything that concerns my partner’s needs while I put myself on the back burner?

This isn’t the first time I have done this and eventually the relationship ends which I assume is due to me being a doormat.  Why can’t I seem to respect myself enough to push my own needs ahead of my partner once in awhile?

Thanks for any advice you have!

Carrie

Hi Carrie,

Thanks so much for your question. There are many other men and women that would like to know the answer to this as well.

Some people are givers and some people are takers and we all know what category you fall into. This is not a bad thing and it just needs to be “tweeked a little” so that your relationship isn’t one sided all the time.

A partner should be an extension of who you are not take away from the person you are.

A great relationship is one where you are both there for each other but you still have your own dreams, goals and separate interests. Of course you should always have each other’s back and support them, but never give up who you are as person for someone else.

Think about this; would you want your partner attached to your hip at every given moment?

After awhile that would get very old and you would start to feel smothered. It is wonderful to have their respect and know that they love you “that much,” but there still needs to be some breathing room in your relationship.

(This also could be a codependent issue where you may need to talk to a therapist about some past issues you may not be aware of or have pushed aside.)

Carrie, you need to get busy with your own life and stop focusing on him so much. Your partner will be much more attracted to you when you are enjoying yourself and adding some diversity to you as a couple.

You will have new things to talk about and to share with each other. It’s not all about just one person and if they are happy or not.

You need to be happy too!

Start making plans to get out a few times a week with friends or take a course that interests you. Mark dates on the calendar so that it forces you to commit to something outside your house that doesn’t involve your partner.

You will notice an improvement in your home life after a short time because it will “center you” and put a new spring in your step because you are doing something worthwhile for you!

Hallelujah!

Your partner will enjoy seeing this side of you and it will slowly start to change the dynamics of who you are as a couple. This is a good thing because you are now in a reciprocated relationship where you “both” have interesting things to talk about.

Please watch the video above and let me know how things go in the next while.

Sybersue ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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