Dear Sybersue discusses how many men and women are sad, lonely or angry about the difficulties in finding a solid partnership today.
Many people are giving up on ever having a loving relationship due to all the high maintenance attitudes and lengthy checklists they come across in the dating world of the Millennium.
With all the world problems that effect us every day shouldn’t we try to at least have love in our personal lives? Isolating ourselves in a negative and angry environment is not the answer to attracting the love we all deserve to have.
I don’t believe for a moment that people really don’t want a relationship. I think this attitude is due to past rejections, crushed egos, fear on what hasn’t worked and how difficult it is to find authentic love today.
People are becoming more shallow and have higher expectations than ever before. Why has this happened and how do we change things up so that we can have love in our lives?
Please watch the video above and leave your comments below this post. What do you think is going on?
Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL Dating and Relationship Advice Talk Show for Men & Women.
In the video above I discuss infidelity and stepping out on your partner while pretending to be in a solid partnership. Being blindsided by someone who you thought was loyal can destroy trust for many years to come. If you’re not invested in your relationship then have the courage to remove yourself before you bring someone else into the mix.
You owe them that much.
If you are unhappy with the way things are going in your partnership why are you hanging around? You know in your heart whether it can be repaired or if there is a future with them. Leading someone on who thinks they are in a committed long term relationship is just prolonging an unhealthy and fake environment.
Part of the problem is how difficult dating is in the Millennium and people don’t want to be alone. They would rather live in their unhappy situation than put themselves through the hardship of finding someone they could be happy with. So they stay.
Here lies the problem.
Whenever a scenario offers the opportunity of a flirtatious encounter with someone (other than with your partner) it is eagerly jumped upon. Someone is paying attention to you! You react harmlessly at first, but subconsciously there is a newly lit desire springing to life!
You feel a little more alive and less lonely than you have been feeling.
This becomes a dangerous territory and hard to remove yourself from. The forbidden fruit of life’s temptations! The devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. We have all been there even though we see those red flags waving furiously in the wind!
“Be aware of the red flags & maintain some boundaries when you are dating!”
Famous last words right??
It is not easy today in the world of relationships, dating and rarely meeting someone in a face to face scenario. Everyone is behind their technology screens and hoping & praying that they find someone they can eventually fall in love with.
Unfortunately men & women are frustrated and some people are becoming desperate enough to let some of their core values fall to the basement of their priorities! This is not a good thing and even if it gets them a few months in a relationship, they are not being true to themselves and short changing their future happiness.
Being too picky is not a good thing but overlooking key principals that are important to you are just as bad if you want a relationship of substance.
Finding love is definitely a lot of work, but well worth the investment when it happens. Don’t settle just because you are lonely, or feeling pressure from your friends, family or your age. It’s your life, nobody elses and you can take all the time in the world to get it right.
There is no time clock unless you allow one to be there.
Many people think that they are taking the easy road by accepting only a small piece of what they want in a partner. Sadly it becomes a burden because everyday you see the sacrifice you made.
The red flags are waving in your face to get your attention and if you choose to ignore them and be OK in a fictitious relationship, you will always been yearning for what could have been.
No one is perfect and no one is telling you to look for perfection so don’t overlook the qualities that are important to you.
We all have different morals & standards but our character should never be compromised to the point in where we lose a big part of ourselves just to be with someone else.
They should be an extension of who we are; not the other way around.
Dear Sybersue answers a popular question from men on her advice column!
They want to know why women are not authentic with their feelings and play so many pretentious games on the first few dates!
Men are confused and getting fed up with dating games of the millennium! “Why don’t women just say what they really mean? Do they think that by playing “hot & cold” it will keep the guy interested?”
That’s another question…How does a guy know if she is even interested in him???
There are way too many mixed signals going on! Both men and women need to just be themselves and stop with this push/pull scenario that is happening out there. The women are also complaining that the men act interested only until they get a woman between the sheets! Some women say this is one of the reasons they are pulling back from men.
Unfortunately this isn’t the answer and if you want a real relationship you have to be real! Stop with the games and show your date “the fun side” of the person that you are. If you can’t be your authentic self then maybe you’re not ready to date. That goes for both sexes!
Please leave your comments below if you have some great answers to this question! 🙂
In today’s video Dear Sybersue discusses the topic on being a serial dater. Are you addicted to dating?
Do you always want that initial excitement that a new person brings to the mix?
Do you move on quickly after one or two dates?
Do things change after a few sexual encounters with them?
It might be time to figure out if there is a deep rooted fear buried from your past.
While many people are fed up with dating and the stress it entails, there are many men & women who treat dating as a game or an ego building tool. The more the merrier…NEXT!
How long can someone keep going from one person to the next without ever really getting to know them and only having a superficial encounter with each new conquest? Is sex the reward?
Does it not become repetitive and somewhat lonely? Is it a hard place to remove yourself from?
If you have you been a serial dater and you now in a committed relationship,what did you do to change things and eventually fall in love?
Please leave your comments below as it might help others. I appreciate you taking the time to do so!
My girlfriend of 2 months is starting to pull away from me with no reason that I can think of. She just started not returning my texts and saying she was busy all the time. We started out so well and everything just clicked between us!
She is 38 ( I am 35) and has dated a lot over the years but has never really had a long term boyfriend. I did see a few things early on that made me question her commitment to me but I didn’t pressure her with questions and just kept things going in a non-aggressive way so that she had some space.
Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be working and I feel her moving further and further away from me.
I have fallen pretty hard for her! What should I do?
Cory B.
Hi Cory B,
Thanks for your question and I can tell you that you are not alone with this inquiry! I have had 5 similar emails in the last few months from both men & women.
It is a confusing time in the land of dating & relationships and there are more mixed signals than ever before! Part of the reason for this is the lack of real communication skills many people have from spending so much time online, rather that in a face to face scenario.
When we finally meet someone that excites us we go “all in” like a Texas holdem poker game betting on something we don’t know the outcome of but looks really good at the time!
Taking a chance on love is a good thing but we have to be smart and listen to our instincts before we invest our heart fully into this person we don’t know yet.
You said there were a few red flags that you noticed early on but you chose to sweep them aside. You also said she hasn’t had any real committed partnerships. Do you know why this is? Have you actually asked her why she is pulling back?
When love is real there aren’t a lot of questions or any game playing. That is because there is a reciprocated respect for each other.
It is not your place to try to fix her or spend years trying to figure out why may be commitment phobic. All you can do is be honest with how you feel and if she is not into a relationship she needs to tell you.
The 3-6 month mark in a relationship is usually when things either start to improve or dissolve between a couple. If you are questioning everything between the two of you after 2 months together, you may already have your answer with which direction you are headed towards.
Would you like to have a relationship but never seem to find the right person on any dating site that you have a connection with?
Online dating can be really frustrating and take a toll on your self esteem! It might be time to tweak your profile description & your photo selection to show who you really are; not someone you think they want!
No one wants a fake person and how long can you play that game for after they meet you in person? Stop the BS and be genuine! Do you want to meet someone who is phoney and embellishing who they are? I don’t think you do…so don’t be that person then.
Attracting love in your life starts with being true to who you are.
If you are playing a different persona you will also attract that towards you. If you want a partnership that has substance and longevity, being authentic with who you are is extremely important.
You are not looking for an opposite love interest, you are looking for unconditional compatibility in a committed relationship, right?
So then it is imperative to be honest and sincere if you want the same thing in return. It’s never too late to change up dating patterns that aren’t working and it’s never too late to have love in your life.
Change your attitude, change your thinking and allow your heart to be truthfully open. You are fabulous just the way you are! ❤
What have you experienced with online dating? Has it worked for you?
Please leave your comments below to help others have a better dating experience.
