How Long Will You Wait if a First Date is Running Late?

How Long Will You Wait if a First Date is Running Late?

I love  collaborating with other people and was very happy to contribute to this article on Bustle by Natalia Lusinki: 

23 Daters On How Long They’ll Wait If Their First Date Is Running Late

 

Dating can be anxiety-inducing: what to wear, where to go, will the Bumble date look like their picture, and so on. But what about when a date is late? Should you wait? And how long? When do you bail? After all, sometimes things come up that you can’t control. I used to live in L.A., and it can easily take an hour driving from Hollywood to Venice Beach, and at any time of day — there will be unexpected road construction or street closures or traffic due to a local concert…

“For a first date, if someone does not call or text by the 15-minute mark — and they should let you know prior — I wouldn’t continue to wait,” Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Bustle.

Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, advises to give them a bit more time. “You should always respect the person you get involved with, and vice-versa,” she tells Bustle. “One clue that the person won’t give you respect is by not valuing your time and showing up late.” She says she tells her clients to remember the line from the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we deserve.” “I advise them to give it one hour with an apology text or phone call and 30 minutes without one,” Winston says. However, some experts think it depends on other factors, too.

Susan McCord, a dating/relationship coach, advice columnist, and talk show host who runs Sybersue.com, thinks that it also depends on whether the person who is late has contacted you or not. “With all the ghosting going on with dating today, [people] aren’t sure what the proper etiquette is anymore,” she tells Bustle. “If your date has called or texted, profusely apologizing that they will be a few minutes late, that is acceptable. If they do not contact you and it has been over 20 minutes, I would suggest that you leave — your time is important, but they don’t seem to respect that.”

She adds that paying attention to these types of early red flags is very important. “The more bad behavior you allow from people in your life, the more you will keep attracting these types towards you,” McCord says. “When you respect yourself, you value yourself and won’t waste time with the wrong people. When someone is really interested, they can’t wait to see you and will NOT leave you hanging on a date.”

Of course, how long to wait for a late date varies from person-to-person and may involve several factors. Below, 23 daters share how long they’ll stick around.

Please click here to continue reading this post on Bustle 

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Talk Show 

 

My Ex and I Are Living Together For the Sake of the Kids. How do we make this work?

My Ex and I Are Living Together For the Sake of the Kids. How do we make this work?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating relationship coach and advice columnist for men & women!

In today’s blog post and video I answer Sherry’s question:

Dear Sybersue

My Ex and I are living together for the sake of the kids. How do we make this work? We don’t have the money to live separately right now as I am not working. Our kids are still little and my Ex and I decided before we had children that I would stay home with them.

How can I live with him and not go crazy at the same time? We having been cohabitating this way for a year now!

How do I have a fulfilling life while I am still with him?

I am so ready to move on from our marriage but this living together scenario is cramping any chance I have of doing that! The kids don’t know a lot about what’s going on and we just go through the day trying not to argue with each other.  We just don’t get along and seeing him every day just makes me resent him even more.

How do I deal with this and keep myself in a positive space?

Sherry

Dear Sherry,

This “type of living arrangement” is way more common than you might think. With rent and housing increases creeping uncontrollably into our financial resources, it is causing a big problem with many people today!

Singles are now forced to take on a roommate or a home stay student just so they can eat and clothe themselves. Throw a few kids into the mix and it is borderline poverty for many single parents.

The priority for you right now Sherry is to get back out in the work field so you are not reliant on your Ex.

Maybe try something part time while you figure out daycare and adjust to working again. I am not sure what expertise you have but maybe you could start a home business of some sort so you could still be with the kids most of the time.

Talk to some other single moms who may be in the same boat and maybe you can collaborate on some business ideas or at least take turns with babysitting to cut daycare costs down. It would also do you good to get out and be around some adults once in awhile so you are not only dealing with your ex and the children.

You need some outside stimulation to keep your hope and motivation alive. The kids will pick up on your growing resentment towards your ex husband which isn’t healthy for them. You can only fake things for so long!

Have a mature talk with your Ex and figure out a future plan that works for both of you. One of you has to move out!

Take turns having nights out away from each other and the children. Do not fight in front of the kids or talk negatively about each other either. They love both of you even if you have called it quits on loving each other as a couple.

Give yourself a “time line” so it forces you to keep focused on improving your new life ahead and starting over with a fresh attitude. When you can actually visualize the rainbow, the pot of gold will follow.

Don’t give up on your personal happiness and keep taking small steps to change up your scenario. It won’t happen overnight but having weekly goals will definitely bring you closer to moving on to a better place.

Wishing you well and please keep me posted on what you decide to do. ❤

Dear Sybersue ❤

I Love to hear from you! Has this happened to you and how did you deal with this scenario? Please watch the video above and leave your comments below!

Susan McCord @ Dear Sybersue YouTubeDear Sybersue Facebook

Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column 

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

My Ex Keeps Texting and Wants to See me Before He gets Married!

Here is a question from MK that has me shaking my head. Why does this even happen and where do some people get the balls to do this?

Dear Sybersue,

After two long years of trying to get over my ex and then dealing with his engagement to a woman 8 months ago, he has recently started contacting me again. I was crushed when I heard he had met someone a year ago and was getting married so quickly after only knowing her for 4 months!

NOW my Ex keeps texting me and wants to see me before he gets married!

Why is he doing that when he is supposedly committed to another woman? His texts are very flirty and somewhat sexually suggestive.

It took me so long to get over him and now he is stirring things up emotionally for me.

How do I handle this?

MK

Please watch the video above to hear what I have to say about MK’s Question. Has this type of scenario happened to you?

Please leave your comments below!

dear_sybersue__caricature01-2

Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue

Dear Sybersue YouTube
Dear Sybersue Facebook
Blogs & Advice Column

Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

Why Do I Keep Dating Weirdos?

In Today’s Weekly Video I Answer the Question: “Why Do I Keep Attracting Weirdos to Date? What’s Wrong With Me?” This video applies to both men and women even though the question is from a woman.

Dating is so difficult today especially with most of it done online! How do you really know who someone is from seeing their dating profile or a few pictures they have uploaded? Don’t we all look like we are living an absolutely fantastic life on our Facebook and Instagram pages??

Unfortunately that isn’t always the case and contributes to many people living in a pretentious social media facade. This can cause all sorts of problems with confidence levels when men and women actually engage with someone in a “face to face” scenario.

Sometimes we put out certain vibes or self esteem issues that bring the wrong people towards us.

Showing any vulnerability, shyness or desperation will attract certain types that may have similar traits to yours or it could attract someone who may be looking for a partner they can control.

It’s up to you who you allow in your life and if there is a repetitive problem that is driving you crazy, it is time to analyse what that is and change up this uncomfortable dating pattern.

It’ s never too late to learn things about yourself and you should never stop growing to be a better version of who you are. Some of life’s obstacles are meant to make you into a stronger person because the Universe has better plans in store for you.

Ya I know… whatevvvvver, right?

Regardless of  whether you believe in spiritual vibration; the first rule of thumb when something isn’t benefiting you in your life, is to take a step back and own your actions or the part you play in your choices.

Take some responsibility in why you are bringing these undesirable people towards you and figure out what needs to change. 

How can you fix this so that you can have a great partnership? Do you really think everyone out there is weird or do you think maybe you need to alter your personal boundaries?

What is the biggest thing drawing you towards these people? Is there a certain look that attracts you? Do they have a bad boy/girl persona or sarcastic personality? Knowing what you want is crucial to meeting the right people to date. Any confusion with this will keep you in repetitive limbo.

You’re on the right path because you understand things NEED to change. This is the first and right step to bettering your situation. Wishing you love and happiness and a brand new outlook in your dating life.

Please watch the video above and leave your comments below! I always answer you back. xo Sybersue

dear_sybersue__caricature01-2

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating/relationship coach & advice columnist for men & women of all Ages! Check out more videos on her YouTube Channel 

Love and All That Jazz – Interview Dear Sybersue

Love and All That Jazz – Interview Dear Sybersue

 

Love and all that Jazz – Susan McCord

NAME:  Susan McCord aka Dear SyberSue

GENERATION:  Baby Boomer

SIGN:  Leo

OCCUPATION (S):  Dating /Relationship Coach, Talk Show Host, Published Author, Advice Columnist/Blogger. I also write for many other online platforms such as vocal.media and Mogul. I host a monthly support group for women who are dealing with divorce, self-esteem issues, getting over a long-term relationship, single mothers and getting back out into the dating market again!

LOCATION:  Vancouver, BC

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN YOUR LATTE?  Skim milk with cinnamon

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE:  

In the fall & winter months I am a jeans/leggings, boots and sweater girl. I collect coats of all shapes and colors! I probably need an intervention! I seem to have a lot of black and white outfits but I am really drawn to anything red or silver grey!

In the spring/summer months, I love to wear off the shoulder feminine blouses with capris or skirts and classy jumpsuits or gowns are my “go to” staple for events or evenings out. I am very social!

I am also a little bit Boho and have a closet full of flowy tops and long sleeveless dresses. I love chunky jewelry, big earrings and anything blingy which includes my phone case! I am not a follower and beat to my own fashion drum. 😉

THREE THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT?

  1. Some form of fitness such as hot yoga, spinning, hiking and weight training! I call this my cheap therapy because it keeps my mind clear for writing, gets me off the computer, keeps my weight somewhat in check and improves my health physically and emotionally. It clears the cobwebs so to speak!
  2. I can’t live without Love! My son and my husband are the loves of my life! I also love animals of all kinds and talk to every dog on the street! I’m actually not kidding.
  3. My colorist! I will be 95 years old and will always make time to go to the salon. What grey hair, it’s natural!

WHO/WHAT ARE YOUR INSPIRATIONS IN LIFE?  

I like that you offered the choice of what and not just who in this question. I didn’t really have a mentor growing up but I learned how to be a strong woman due to being given the role of big sister nurturer & housekeeper at home (5 kids) which basically took over my youth. I moved out at 17 and worked full time at a computer job and part-time at The Keg restaurant to support my rent and shoe fetish!

I guess you could say that Travel was my big inspiration in life.

Ever since I was 13 years old I had decided I wanted to be a flight attendant and made my dream happen at age 21. Flying around the world for 25 years is an education that you just can’t get from a book or classroom setting! You never stop learning! This also helped me understand men and women of all cultures & status in numerous countries. The one thing we all have in common is the need for love.

If I had to choose someone who was an inspiration I would say Betty White and Oprah (yes I know, cliché choice right?) Betty, because she lives life to the fullest, is funnier than anyone I know and hasn’t slowed down at the tender age of 96! Oprah; has she survived a lot of diversity & abuse and has taught so many people how to also overcome these traumatizing obstacles. She’s done a lot for others and gives so many people hope.

I also love George Clooney but that’s just because he’s hot and he’s my hall pass. (Wink wink)

WHEN DID YOU BECOME A DATING/RELATIONSHIP COACH AND WHY?

I have been asked for advice since I was a teenager! Maybe it was due to the mature role & responsibilities I had at home, or maybe I am a bit of an old soul who has been here way too many times?? Ha!

Connecting with others has always been easy for me as I am not a shy woman. I love to talk to people and I love to listen as well. Everyone has a story to share! I started a podcast back in 2004, (yes, way before there were podcasts!) and then eventually started My YouTube show in 2009!

By the time I was 28 I was married, divorced and a single mom of an 18-month-old boy. I had lots to deal with and the learning curve was a very long winding road! I had a lot to share with others going through a similar ordeal.

I have been writing since I was 10 years old so it was a natural progression to write my advice column, my book, and my dating/relationship blog. I have always taken courses over the years and became a certified coach 4 years ago. I enjoy helping people and I have done a lot of pro bono work over the years, but I needed to be able to pay my bills too!

WHAT QUESTIONS DO MOST OF YOUR YOUTUBE VIEWERS & CLIENTS ASK?

I get more questions from men than I do from women which initially surprised me. I guess it is easier for them to ask these private things when there is a computer in front of them and not a real person. It is difficult for some men to open up emotionally and that is the first thing they usually tell me. Here are some popular questions I have received from both men and women:

  1. Why are women so high maintenance? They seem to only be interested in my wallet! How do I meet a quality woman who is into me and not into what kind of car I drive or what I do for a living?
  2. Why has my boyfriend not asked me to marry him after 4 years? Why can’t he commit to me? How much longer do I wait for him? Do I give him an ultimatum?
  3. How can I learn how to talk to women and approach them with confidence? What’s wrong with me and why am I so afraid of rejection?
  4. Why do men only seem interested in one thing? SEX! Why don’t they call or text me after I have sex with them on the first few dates?
  5. How do I get past being cheated on? Will I ever be able to trust anyone?
  6. Why can’t I move on after my divorce or long-term relationship breakup? Will I ever find love again? How do I even begin to start dating again?
  7. I have been texting with this guy for months, why haven’t we met in person yet? Should I hang around?
  8. The girl I was seeing just vanished without any communication and won’t answer my texts. What do I do?

WHAT’S YOUR MAIN ADVICE IN MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER?

  • Always talk to your partner and do not shut them out! It’s called a partnership for a reason because you are supposed to share things with them. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable once in a while.
  • Always make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner. There is no room for complacency in a relationship. You were attracted to each other for a reason; always remember to keep that attraction alive. It only takes a few minutes every day and will add miles to your relationship!
  • Couples who play together stay together. Do fun things with them and change it up often! Grow together not apart.
  • Always have your partners back!
  • Have regular date nights and yes, sex is important! It’s not just for birthdays or special occasions! Keep those fires burning so they come back to your bed and not someone else’s!
  • The little things count! Love notes, sweet texts throughout the day, compliments, undivided attention when they are talking to you or sharing a glass of wine in candlelight.

Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue

Check out this post and more with Stylist Eleni @ The Style Latte

about-1

Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Talk Show Host, Published Author, Interviewer, Certified Life Coach, Blogger & Advice Columnist.

dear_sybersue__caricature01-2

Dear Sybersue Dating Relationship Show & Advice Column

No BS Advice Videos & Blogs for Men & Women (By a Crazy Redhead who has been there, done that & has all the T-shirts to Prove it!)

PATRICK STORIES

Make PEACE ✌ Show LOVE❤

Style-Etc.

by Kathy Patellis-Schmidt

phicklephilly

Dating from a gentleman's point of view in Philadelphia. Stories from his life and those around him.

Dear Dharma

Advice on almost anything…

When Women Inspire

Inspirational Women | Health and Lifestyle Tips

jetsetkissandtell.wordpress.com/

NEW SITE WITH NEW CONTENT COMING SOON!

Sex in the Sydney

Wining, dining and dating down under

Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together.

Unsolicited advice for shit you didn't know you were doing wrong

beauty & the foodie.

foodie. writer. amateur photographer. converse on beauty, & indulge in your inner foodie.

Alexis Chateau

Activist. Writer. Explorer.

Mollie Player

Suddenly Awesome

This Tiny Blue House

living better, spending less

Everyday Healthy Recipes

Because good food matters

%d bloggers like this: