Does Your Childhood Play a Part in Your Relationships Today?
In the video above I discuss how your formative years growing up have a big impact on some of the choices you make as an adult.
This is especially true when it comes to repeating dating and relationship patterns that aren’t working for you. If you weren’t shown love in your young life at home, you could have some big concerns when it comes to trust and understanding what love truly is today.
It’s never too late to find love in your life but the first step is to own that there may be some damaging childhood dialogue that needs to be removed.
You could be dealing with negative conversations that are embedded into your soul from a critical parent or some other family member. This can leave a big scar on your self-esteem and it can be very difficult to make the right choices when your confidence is severely compromised.
If you were constantly berated or shut down in any way, these emotional wounds become a familiar connection that continues to attract the wrong people towards you. This can be very difficult to remove without professional guidance because it is all you know.
If you are repeatedly choosing the same type of people that cause you heartbreak, you will always be trying to comprehend what is going on. “Why does this keep happening to me? Why can’t I find unconditional love and respect?”
10 Signs that you are choosing the same type of relationship drama
- Do you jump in really fast to a new relationship before getting to know their true character?
- Do you sleep with them within the first few dates?
- Are you ignoring the red flags of how they treat you?
- Do you become clingy if they pull back from you?
- Are you always being cheated on?
- Is jealousy a problem for you with everyone you date?
- Do you have trust issues in most of your love relationships?
- Are you “always forgiving” regardless of how often their behavior hurts you?
- Are your relationships usually one-sided where you love them more or in some cases, less?
- Do you find yourself always defending your partner’s actions to your friends?
Do you have a hard time saying I love you or feeling any kind of emotion?
This can often happen to people who were verbally or physically abused in their childhood. They just learn to shut down and become numb to the pain they endured. It can feel easier to put up a wall of veneer than to rehash the memories of a loveless and abusive household. This will rob them of having love in their adulthood because no one can penetrate their protective shield.
Dealing with any type of abandonment in our youth can cause us to look for unavailable partners as an adult.
It is important to learn how to trust the choices you make but quickly understand when something isn’t right for you. The more communicative you are about your past with a therapist or a potential partner, the sooner you will be able to exorcise the negative thought process that has held your emotions hostage, for so long.
Burying your pain is never a good option if you want to change up the patterns that are causing you continued heartache or loneliness.
I know it is a lot easier said than done and many people just want to move on without drawing any more attention to their past. The problem with this is that our memory is a powerful thing and can control our thinking a lot more than we realize.
There is no shame in bettering yourself and taking time to figure out who you really are at the core. Things that negatively impacted the formative years of your life should be addressed so that you move on to having the love you really deserve.
You only have control over the choices you make today but the beauty of that is “they are your choices,” and not anyone else’s to make for you. Embrace your tomorrows with a positive clear vision and be grateful for this new path you are on. Give power and presence to your future, and not to the negative energy of your past. You’ve got this! <3
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