Welcome to Dear Sybersue! Today’s topic is: Do you honor each other’s expectations in your relationship?
One of the biggest problems that can break up a relationship is when there are over-the-top expectations from one partner. Unfortunately, there are almost as many issues when everyday expectations are not adhered to in a partnership as well.
Everyone should have boundaries and respect for themselves, therefore having some expectations on how you want to be treated in your partnership should always be a number 1 priority. You certainly don’t want to be taken for granted or walked over because you don’t have a voice about how you want to be respected.
When you first start dating someone new, mutual attraction is always a big part of the equation, but you should always be on the same page as a couple when it comes to compatibility. Having a like-minded attitude and being respectful of each other’s boundaries is a very important part of having a healthy foundation.
What expectations are really important in a committed partnership?
1. Communication is huge!
It is wonderful when you can openly converse with your partner about pretty much anything. Reciprocated communication will get you through those tough times that you have together as a couple. This happens because you are both discussing what is troubling you and not letting things fester.
Some couples bury their true feelings when they are upset about something, which isn’t fair to their partner. How are you supposed to fix things if you stop communicating whenever there is an issue between you? When this goes on for long periods of time, it actually pulls you apart and can really damage your partnership. If one person is closed off, it becomes an unbalanced scenario, which makes it very difficult to stay connected and evolve together as the years go by in your relationship.
We are not always going to get along 24/7 with our loved ones, but discussing an argument in a constructive manner will help to resolve the problem quickly. The more things hang in the air and are ignored, the more this behavior eventually sabotages your relationship. Shrugging your shoulders and hoping the problem just dissolves is asking for repetitive drama that can be avoided.
2. Emotional availability should be reciprocated.
When couples have a reciprocated connection, they are both emotionally available to one another. There are no questions as to how invested your partner is within your relationship, because they are emotionally on par with you. You don’t have to guess how they are feeling because they are openly transparent with you and vice versa.
If your partner has trouble showing their emotions on a regular basis, this can become so much work for you as their partner, trying to figure out what they are feeling or thinking. It can be a lonely place when someone you love keeps shutting you out.
If either you or your partner has some emotional baggage left over from their childhood or a past breakup, it is really important to talk to a counselor to help clarify and diminish those ongoing emotional difficulties. It is not easy to fix these long-standing issues without some professional guidance, and it shows great strength when you do the work to improve your emotional availability.
If you both feel loved, appreciated and understand the importance of making each other a priority, you will always share a very special bond. There are no control issues because you are both cognizant of being your authentic selves. You don’t have time for games or immature power struggles due to how much you enjoy and love each other unconditionally.
3. Intimacy and sex should be on the same expectation level!
It’s not unusual for some couples to have a much higher sex drive in the initial stage of a new relationship. It’s exciting and passionate when you have undeniable chemistry with someone you are really attracted to. Unfortunately, problems can arise when sexual consistency changes a few years later for some people. This is a popular complaint amongst many couples in counseling sessions who become bored with each other due to complacency or non-existent sex life.
Always be sincere and open to what your expectations are in the bedroom. Be your true self and not what you think your partner wants you to be. You both have personal boundaries to adhere to, and it is important to understand that not everyone has the same sexual appetite! Always communicate with each other and come to a compromise with what works for both of you.
Intimacy is a very important part of showing love to your partner, so please don’t allow this to be a low priority within your relationship. Find ways to get in the mood and keep the fires burning between you both. It is the glue that holds your love intact for many years to come.
4. Being on the same page when it comes to wanting children is IMPORTANT!
If your partner is dead set against having children and having a family is very important to you, it would be wise to move on. This should be a dealbreaker. Do not hang in there for five years hoping they will change their mind, because you will probably end up being sadly disappointed. Make it a top priority to have these conversations early on, before you spend a considerable amount of time together. It is very difficult to have to walk away from someone when you have already fallen in love with them. 💔
Do not ever wait for someone to change their mind about anything that is really important to you. If your expectations include starting a family with a potential partner, then follow through on those plans by sticking to your desires. The same thing goes for getting married, or where you will live as a couple. Being on board with these major life decisions is crucial to being in a harmonious relationship.
5. Financial goals should be in alignment as a couple!
Money can become a big problem in some relationships! Have you discussed setting up a budget plan that works for both of you? Are you in agreement with how you pay for things regarding household bills, groceries, mortgage/rent, accrued debt, and any social outings? You don’t always make equal salaries as a couple, but you both should contribute financially to your relationship. You don’t want any resentment to build up due to having over-the-top expectations that your partner should be paying for the majority of all expenses.
If you both respect your relationship and contribute what you can in a financial sense, you will always appreciate each other’s efforts. Having high expectations that your partner should take care of you financially, becomes a detriment in too many relationships. No one wants to be taken for granted in any sense. Both people in a partnership should be paying their way as much as they can.
It is also important to have acceptance of what you both do to make a living.
- Is their career something you can live with and vice versa?
- Do your jobs consist of travel or extensive hours?
- Does their career work well with yours, or are there complications that arise due to opposite schedules?
- Are you and your partner able to prioritize and balance your personal lives with each other, over your careers?
- Are you proud of their success and encouraging when it comes to their work? Is this reciprocated?
It is imperative that you and your partner respect what each other does for their career due to the amount of time invested in your jobs. As human beings, we spend approximately 30% of our life working. Many relationship issues can come from one partner prioritizing their work schedule over spending quality time with their partner. Don’t let this happen to you as a couple.
Investing in your relationship is well worth the energy you put forth.
These expectations mentioned above are important to maintain, but there is also every day smaller criteria that keeps a partnership in a happy place. Understand that treating your partner with love and kindness on a daily basis is the foundation of every long-term committed relationship.
The little things matter just as much and end up being some of the fondest memories on your romantic journey as a couple. Relationships will always require having boundaries and expectations. When you both accept and embrace that within the bond of your partnership, you will always have a solid and loving connection with one another for many years to come.
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Please contact me @ https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call or voice call appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!