Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma Guest Post: When Wedding Gets all Smashed Up

Dear Dharma

Dear Dharma,

I got engaged recently to the man of my dreams. And since then everything has been a merry ride starting from his show-stopping proposal that almost made me swoon with delight, my gorgeous engagement ring and yeah breathtaking wedding dress which I got at a sinful price!

My fiancé is well-off and this much is obvious with the way he spends on me. I have always bragged to my friends and family on how I’m going to have the wedding of the year and I have already made great plans to that effect.

The bad news came two weeks ago when my dream wedding was only a month and some weeks away, my fiancé lost his job paying him six figures and he is bankrupt and neck-deep in debt!

I was shocked by the news and I still am… Right now my parents aren’t aware of this and I will tell them eventually… but now there is no way I’m going to have the type of wedding I planned out.

I am willing to finance a simple wedding with my savings but it won’t do much good. My fiancé thinks we should break the bad news to my parents and seek their help or consider pushing the wedding to another day but I don’t support the idea… I’m not brave enough to face my parents when it’s only few weeks to the D-day!

What do I do? Please help!

Smashed Up Wedding

Dear Smashed Up,

Ugh.  A million red flags.

So do you realize what you are saying is that your fiancé was always one pay cheque away from financial devastation?

And when you are making that kind of money, that’s a very strong statement.  I mean, obviously, I don’t know your lifestyle, but there’s a possibility he’s been allowing the both of you to live well beyond your means.

I don’t know if I think the thing you should be most scared of right now is your parents.  The thing you should be sorting out is what the hell happened to get things to this point!

I’ve always been an advocate of if you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, no one else should be obligated to provide that for you.  The sense of entitlement that comes with that way of thinking makes me crazy.

I know it feels like the most important thing to get figured out is what to do about the “party” (that’s what a “wedding” is – the meat of it is in the “marriage”, but that’s a topic for another day) but I honestly think you have bigger things to deal with.

Like, are the two of you on the same page financially?  Like, are there any serious alarm bells here that you need to pay attention to? Should you even be going ahead with this at this time?

Talking to your parents is a must do.  Borrowing from them isn’t.  Getting into debt you can’t afford to pay back will only make this situation worse, so I would think very seriously before you put yourself in that situation.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m hoping you will pay attention to the signs that are popping up around you.

Dharma

Dear Dharma

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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Relationship Sabotage: Are you Hiding Your Feelings and Thoughts From Your Partner?

Relationship Sabotage: Are you Hiding Your Feelings and Thoughts From Your Partner?

Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating and relationship advice columnist for men & women of all Ages!

In today’s video Sybersue talks about people who are afraid to be themselves with their partners and who may be sabotaging their relationships without even being aware of the damage that is taking place on a daily basis.

When you hide your feelings and don’t divulge much of what you are thinking or feeling to your partner it can cause all sorts of problems that may never be resolved. Lack of communication between a couple is one of the biggest reasons for breakups today!

If you don’t talk openly with each other, what type of relationship do you have?

Pushing your partner away because of insecurities will not keep your relationship in a healthy place. How do you honestly think it will improve if you become more and more introverted about your true feelings?

They deserve more respect and your full attention. You are not in a part time situation that allows you to close down and shut your partner out. They have emotional and physical needs that shouldn’t be put on the back burner.

How long do you think they will want to stay in a one sided romance?

You fell in love for a reason; don’t let your relationship die due to fear, sabotage or laziness. Talk to your partner and tell them what’s going on inside your head. They will probably be more supportive than you think!

When you open up and share your feelings with them they know you trust them, which is a big part of a great relationship. Clamming up and pretending all is good, is not being true to yourself or to them.  You both deserve more.

Go on, you can fix this! ❤

Susan McCord

The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
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I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

In the video above Dear Sybersue answers a question from a woman on her advice column who is secretly seeing her best friends Ex husband! She wants to know what she should do and how she should handle it!

It’s maybe a bit late to feel guilty about it now don’t you think???

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Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Add This Little Trick to Keep Your Relationship in a Happy Place!

Dear Sybersue answers this popular topic from her advice column!

“What is the key to keeping a relationship from becoming boring and routine!”

It is much easier than many couples realize! You don’t have to become another divorce statistic if this a part of your weekly practice! Not only will it change up the dynamics of your partnership, you will have fun at the same time!

Keep your partner wanting more by being MORE of who you are!

Susan McCord @ facebook.com/dearsybersue 
Facebook @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs & Advice Column @ sybersue.com

Are you Choosing Unhealthy Relationships due to Your Childhood Issues?

In today’s video above Dear Sybersue discusses relationship patterns that may need changing due to unhealthy childhood memories.

  • Is there always a lot of drama or repetition in your partnerships or dating scenarios??
  • Does your partner remind you of things in your past that were hurtful, abusive or sad within your family?
  • Are there characteristics in your partner that remind you of either of your parents? Are they overly controlling, possessive or emotionally unavailable?

People tend to be creatures of habit and wander towards familiar environments which aren’t necessarily a safe or happy place to be.

Break ups happen because that person wasn’t right for you. You are meant to learn from the demise of it and move on to a more fulfilling partnership. But…unfortunately many people repeat the same mistakes and go back for more of the same thing because it is what they know!

Staying in these type of situations is one of the biggest reasons many men & women spend so much time dealing with low self esteem and self doubt in all aspects of their lives.

Your partner is supposed to be an extension of the incredible person that you are; not take away from who you are.

If you are constantly putting yourself in these hot & cold, loveless relationships because this is familiar to you from your past family life, you may need to talk to a counselor or  therapist to help you through this repetitive cycle.

Sometimes you just can’t do it alone and it is a strength to be able to admit this to yourself. ❤

Once you analyze & start to understand why you make certain relationship choices, it is much easier to find real love and end up on a happier path. Childhood drama in ingrained in our hearts, body and soul; it is not an easy thing to erase overnight and asking for help to make these changes is a good thing.

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs& Advice Column @ sybersue.com