The Girl I Like (and have for more than 1.5 years) got dumped by her boyfriend a week ago. When would it be appropriate to try to get closer to her?
I am aware if the fact that she is obviously heavily affected by the ordeal, and thus I don’t want to do anything that may do more harm than good, for her especially. It should also be mentioned that we know each other from university, and I’ve gone out for coffee with her a few times.
Dear Sybersue’s Answer:
Continue to be her friend but don’t be aggressively available. You don’t want her to start relying on you to help her through her heartbreak on a daily basis because If there is a chance for romance between the two of you down the road, you need her to see you that way and not as her buddy.
You also don’t want to be a “short term rebound” if she becomes lonely and ends up being intimate with you when she is not ready for a new relationship. This can make her run quickly in the opposite direction as she is still dealing with the emotional aftermath of her breakup. Don’t be a guinea pig on the path to her heart healing. You want to stand out in a different way!
Give her a few months to deal with her sadness and then be honest with how you feel about her. You have already liked her for 18 months and if there is a chance for you as a couple, you need to tell her. You don’t need to spend another year waiting for her to notice you.
Put it out there and maybe she also feels something for you too but doesn’t think you are interested in her romantically.
Don’t let her be the one that got away. ❤
Link to Original Question on Quora
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
So many men and women are upset with how lonely they feel due to the problems they are having with meeting a potential partner.
People are giving up on having a relationship because they have stopped believing that unconditional love exists.
Unrealistic checklists have replaced courtship because if you don’t fit everything on someones list you’re out of the running after the first text message. (You don’t even get to meet them in person!)
Things need to change in a big way with the dating drought in the millennium and maybe we need to go back to doing things the old fashioned way?
Unfortunately one of the biggest problems is men are fed up being rejected when they do ask a woman out in a social setting. So…maybe if things aren’t working, it’s time for the ladies to ask the men out!
Guys have always had the pressure of being the pursuer and are tired of having to be the one who makes the first move. Dating has become a big problem because of this.
Men are confused and women are frustrated that their dating life is becoming non-existent.
When a woman gives a man a little encouragement it goes a long way. When she smiles or says “hi” first, it gives him the OK that she is interested. Many guys aren’t sure if they are put in a “friend zone” or if there is potential for a romantic relationship.
Ladies: times have changed and if you want to meet someone to have a partnership with you need to make an effort.
We can’t demand equal rights and then contradict ourselves by not partaking in being more assertive when it comes to asking out someone on a date.
Waiting for someone to contact you and trying to meet that perfect man online or on a dating app is probably not going to get you the love you desire in your life. How is is working so far?
If you want something bad enough why sit back and wait?
Doesn’t it make more sense to take a chance and make a move to get his attention? You know what you like so don’t let a great chance pass you by when there is an attraction to someone. You may never see them again and regret not saying something.
Don’t make your life full of “what ifs!”
I can promise you men will be flattered you took a chance on them. So what if you find out they are in a relationship or not available for another reason. Try again with someone else!
Men have had to deal with this for hundreds of years and maybe it is time we make it a little easier on them and ourselves.
If you are sitting home night after night and feeling more alone than ever, it’s time to make a change. Go out and get what you want ladies because you are in charge of who you attract into your life.
Don’t wait for a guy to come and knock on your door…go knock on his door! ❤
Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com