Must-Read Tips for Any Couple Moving Abroad

Must-Read Tips for Any Couple Moving Abroad

They say that everyone should move abroad at least once in their life and it is not difficult to see why. You get the chance to experience an entirely new country, live the high life, enjoy some sunshine (depending on where you go, of course), and create some amazing memories.

However, there is no denying that it can be a roller-coaster journey. There are going to be some ups and downs and your relationship is going to go through some tests along the way.  With that being said, read on to discover some amazing tips for couples that are moving abroad.

Don’t make a strict timeline 

Most people like to have a timeline when they make the decision to move abroad. For example; they want to have a job within ‘x’ months, they want to return back to their home country by ‘x’ date and so on.

Not everything goes to plan and you need to be prepared for the unexpected, so it is better not to have such a strict timeline and go with what feels right and embrace the journey. Putting a timeline on your new life only creates more stress and pressure.

Discuss your goals

It is important to discuss your goals before you move overseas. Why did you decide to move? It will be a question you will be asked in job interviews, by your partner and also by protective family and friends. It is vital to discuss your precise expectations and goals of those dreams, and to be on the same page in your relationship when making such a big decision.

Learn the language together

It is always a good idea to learn the local language when moving to a new place. At the very least you should learn common everyday phrases before you even get on the plane.

Once you arrive it is a smart idea to take language classes with your partner. The locals will respect you immensely for trying to immerse in their way of living, no matter how broken your dialect is. 

Spend time apart 

Spending time apart in any relationship is healthy but it can be incredibly difficult when you are moving to place where you only know each other.  It is important to take time to yourself so you have a break from depending solely on each other.  Go for a run/walk or take a few hours to go shopping and explore the city.

You will both need to make an effort to meet some new friends. This can be challenging especially when there is a language barrier. Nevertheless, there tends to be large expat communities in most international cities so this should make life a lot easier.

Join a forum where you will be able to talk to people that were once in your position. You may make some new friends from this and at the very least you will gain some valuable advice that is going to make your move a lot easier.

Get help when needed

 There are so many different things you will need to do when moving abroad and you can often feel like you are drowning in your to-do list. This is why it is a good idea to enlist help when needed.

This could be anything from hiring a migration agent to assist with your visa, to asking some of your friends and family members to help with packing up your belongings. This will ease the pressure you’re both dealing with and give you some peace of mind that everything will be done on time. 

Don’t lose the romance in your partnership

It can be easy for the romance to dwindle away when there are so many other pressures that come with a big move! Romance can often take a backseat on the priority list; especially when you are trying to budget. However, it is important to keep the romance alive and to have regular date nights to keep your love flourishing.

Communicate with each other 

It is so important to be vocal with your partner when you move abroad. The worst thing you can do is keep things bottled up until you end up exploding in frustration. You need to listen and hear each other concerns.

Don’t expect to adapt perfectly right away

You need to be prepared for a few hurdles along the way. Some people assume that everything is going to go perfectly. You are moving to a new destination with so many amazing things to offer from sunshine to a more luxurious lifestyle.

What could possibly go wrong?

When you have this unrealistic  attitude, any type of pressure can hit you twice as hard. Adapting to a new environment isn’t easy for many people. After all, you are going to be embracing any entirely new way of life and you are doing this without the support of your friends and family nearby. Understanding and accepting this will help you both adjust to your new home.

Understand each other’s differences 

When moving abroad, you need to understand that you and your partner are different people and because of this, you may have completely opposite experiences with how things unfold early on. It is important to respect that your partner is not always going to be feeling the same way as you about the experience and honor that.

Have patience 

Having patience is one of the most important tips when moving abroad.  Not only do you need to have patience with each other (because you may view this  journey differently) but you also need to give some time to adjust to your new surroundings. 

Many people move abroad and when everything does not fall into place immediately, they decide to pack their bags and go home. Don’t give in this easily because you are homesick.

You should also avoid going back home for a holiday too quickly.  This will only make the move more difficult. Wait until you are settled and content before taking a journey home. Why not ask your family members to visit you instead?

Living out of a suitcase is not going to be easy

When you move to a new country you may only have as many belongings as you can carry in the early stages. This can be very frustrating not having all the comforts you are used to. This can be very hard for some people and for others it is a great adventure and does not bother them at all.

Immerse yourself into the culture 

It is all about immersing yourself in the culture when trying to adjust to a new environment. You should get out there and mingle with the locals. Enjoy the local delicacies and embrace their way of life. Be mindful  and respectful of their customs. This will make your transition into their way of life much easier.

Set aside some extra money 

Finances can be a strain on any relationship and this is definitely the case when moving abroad. Some people are shocked by how financially tough moving to a new destination can be. Be prepared by setting a budget ahead of time and put some money away so that you have a buffer for any unexpected financial situations that may arise.

Learn how to cope  with missing family and friends 

Last but not least, dealing with family and friends back home is one of the most difficult parts of moving to another country. You are leaving your loved ones behind and they  can feel the loss even more than you do. Be gentle and honest with them by explaining this decision to move and ask for their support.

Hopefully you now feel more prepared for the journey that is ahead of you. It is important to stick together and help each other through this difficult journey. Stay connected and talk to each other often to combat the initial loneliness you may all feel. 

Preparing yourself with all of these tips mentioned above will give you and your partner the greatest chance of moving abroad successfully. It is never easy to uproot your life to a completely new city where you know very few people, but with every new adventure you learn so much about life and the diverse experiences it has to offer.

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Susan McCord  @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

 

Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Dealing With Anxiety In a Relationship: How Can You Help Your Partner?

Ill mental health can consume a person entirely and it can be hard for someone who loves them to stand by watching, feeling completely helpless and not knowing how to help.

This has been known to cause a few relationship problems if one partner can’t open up fully to the other one, or a partner doesn’t make an effort to understand what ill mental health may feel like for the other person and why they are acting a certain way.                         affection, blur, close-up                      

It can be extremely frustrating to always be arguing over something neither of you can control or to constantly feel useless when you can see your partner is going through emotional torment. Here are some tips on how you can help and understand the appropriate etiquette for when your partner is having a low or anxiety-filled day.

Be Patient

The most important thing no matter what the circumstances is to remain patient. Anxiety attacks, low days, and all the baggage that accompanies ill mental health is never going to show up at a convenient time.

Even if you are running late, need to get to sleep or are in the middle of a busy shopping center, your partner will need time to recover and maybe even need to remove themselves from the situation completely.

It is important not to get frustrated and remember the best thing for your partner is to be supportive and do exactly what they ask to help them to feel better. This may not be the same every time.

Ask About Their Therapy

If your partner is currently going through anxiety counselling or talking to a therapist to find the root cause of why they are feeling the way they are, talk to them about their sessions.

Of course there may be some sensitive information they want to keep between themselves and their counselor but any information you can obtain on what to do to help while they are having an attack, will help you to feel a more equipped when these events occur. 

Be Present And Adaptable

Some days your partner may appreciate you being there and looking after them and  other days they may just want to be left alone. Depression can make a person feel extremely guilty. Your partner may try pushing you away as they do not want to bring you down.

It’s a good idea to reassure them that you are there for them no matter what and to listen to what they say and how they feel. Don’t be offended if your partner just wants to be by them self. They may be feeling extremely fatigued or just can’t handle social interaction that particular day.

However even when they want to be alone, knowing that you are nearby can be very comforting for them. Especially if ill mental health puts your partner in a vulnerable position they may need you if they suddenly have an anxiety attack or have any harmful thoughts.

If either you or your partner need to talk to someone at anytime of the day you can call The Samaritans, who will be able to connect you with a professional to talk to.   

No one is the same when it comes to ill mental health and everyone will deal with it in their own individual way. If your partner has opened up about their struggles and can  be themselves in front of you – without the mask that so many wear to hide mental health problems – they trust you and care deeply for you.

All you can do is try your best to help them and pick up strategies through experience of how best to help them. Talk to them, be open and patient.

Eventually, things will start to fall into a natural rhythm and you’ll be keyed in enough to intuitively understand how your partner is feeling.  

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Is Your Upcoming Wedding Putting Strain on your Relationship? (Collaborative Post)

Is Your Upcoming Wedding Putting Strain on your Relationship? (Collaborative Post)

Do you feel as though your wedding is becoming more stressful than ever? Maybe you feel as though you and your partner have drifted since the wedding planning started and now you are worried that your relationship might not make it through. Either way, there are a couple of ways that you can avoid all of the wedding stress.

Planning

Your wedding is probably going to be a once in a lifetime event. It will require a lot of planning and a lot of patience. It is very unrealistic to say that your entire wedding plans will run smoothly from the second that you get engaged. In fact, it is most likely going to be one of the most stressful situations you have ever been in.

One way to try and combat this would be for you to think positive. This will help your whole experience to be much nicer and it will also help you to organize things should they get out of control. By staying positive and by planning the whole thing out in advance, you can then take more time over each stage while also reducing the amount of pressure you are putting on yourself. Things you need to plan include the venue, the flowers, the photographer and more. If you need a good wedding photographer then Vittore Buzzi is a great option.

beautiful, bloom, bloominghttps://www.pexels.com/photo/beautiful-bloom-blooming-blossom-540522/

Go To Sleep on Time

When planning a wedding, you may feel as though you and your partner have to stay up late talking about it and you may also deprive yourself of any time together because you’re so busy planning for the big day. Either way, it is very important that you go to sleep on time and that you also do everything you can to spend some time with your loved one.

You have to make sure that the time you do spend together is not wedding related, so that you can then wind down and take some of the pressure off. Of course, if you are constantly tired then you will be more likely to argue and even more likely to be more susceptible to stress, so this is a huge factor that you need to consider.

Beach Wedding Ceremony during Daytimehttps://www.pexels.com/photo/beach-wedding-ceremony-during-daytime-169198/

Expense

Think about it, can you really afford to pay that much for a wedding? Can you afford to have a honeymoon together? If you can’t then you may be overspending and this can put additional strain on you as a couple. For example, if you can’t afford the wedding then after the whole thing is over you will have a lot of mess to deal with and this can lead to even more arguments.

For this reason, you have to make sure that you do everything you can to plan a wedding you can afford because ultimately, the day is about celebrating you as a couple and setting you up for your life together. If you are going to have a constant worry about money for months after your wedding, then you may want to reconsider your plans.

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

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Keeping Things Equal In A Relationship

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Plenty of people have trouble keeping things equal in their relationship from level of control to decision-making. Often, the partner that is naturally more powerful begins to take over all the decisions and consciously or subconsciously starts to exert control.

This is never going to be a healthy situation and it can lead to one person in the relationship feeling completely helpless and pushed down. That doesn’t always mean that there are issues like abuse or manipulation but even the scales shifting slightly in one direction can lead to trouble. So, how do you keep things equal?

Encourage Give And Take

People in relationships should take turns from choosing where to go on holiday to choosing what to watch on TV.  This is a healthy reciprocation, where each partner is happy to give and take so that both can get what they need.

Making these decisions together isn’t always possible if you are opposites. This means that what you want to do one evening might be nothing like what your partner wants to do. The best way to fix this is with a schedule of some sort.

Relationships tend to break down when one partner begins to make all the decisions. Suddenly one of the partners will feel as though they are not living their own life but rather a role in someone else’s story.

Sharing Choices

Of course in most cases, it will be possible to make decisions together as a couple and this can begin the start of a healthy relationship. For instance, you might decide what restaurant to eat at on your first date together or discuss what activity to do on your second date, rather than one person setting up the night for the other.

Later on as the relationship progresses, it could be present in the choice of an engagement ring. You might decide to choose it together, despite traditionally this being a gift from the person proposing.

According to http://yourdiamondguru.com/reviews/ritani-review/, there are great options if you do decide you want to choose the engagement ring together. This sharing of power keeps things equal even in a situation where it is predominantly one person’s decision.

If you find that you aren’t naturally finding yourself in scenarios where you can share choices, it suggests one person has more control over the other. This will lead to animosity and the person being controlled will begin to pull away eventually  exploring and alternate partnership.

Discussions Are a Big Positive

You might think that if you find yourself constantly disagreeing with your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. But that’s not true because as we’ve already mentioned, opposites tend to go together. You can read more about choosing a partner on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lena-aburdene-derhally/.

The true defining point of the relationship is seeing how productive these discussions are. If they often evolve into fully heated screaming matches, obviously there’s an issue. By debating points of view and then accepting differences in opinion is a sign that things are in a healthy place.

Don’t avoid talking about sensitive topics. This is just going to cover up a potential or ongoing issue. Eventually you’ll find that by avoiding these topics you will reach a boiling point and a serious argument will erupt seemingly from nowhere. Naturally this is due to the fact that all the little issues that aren’t being discussed are bubbling underneath the service.

Small Gestures Matter

As people say, “the devil is in the little details” and it’s the small gestures that matter most when it comes down to having a great partnership. This could be anything from helping bring in the shopping to doing the washing up together, rather than leaving it to one person. Little gestures like this are the foundation of a strong relationship where each partner feels equal to the other.

If one partner is constantly putting in all the effort, the relationship isn’t healthy. They might feel lonely and begin to look to other people to provide the level of comfort and support that their partner should provide.

We hope this helps shed some light on how to keep things equal in a relationship and why not doing so could ultimately lead to your partnership breaking apart.

Man and Woman Boat Rowing in Sea during Golden Hour

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show