Why Does My Girlfriend Act Single In Our Relationship?
In today’s’ video I answer Andrew’s question.
Hi Sybersue,
Why does my girlfriend act single when we are in a committed relationship? She sees her friends more than she sees me and she flirts openly with other guys in front of me! We have been together for a year but I don’t feel like I am a priority to her at all!
How should I approach this situation with my girlfriend?
Thank you, Andrew
I will answer this question in a general sense because it is a common complaint amongst men and women who do not know where they stand in their relationship. So many things have changed with dating and many people are confused.
It is important to “have the talk” as a couple.
When you decide you would like to be in an exclusive relationship with each other, it needs to be discussed. This conversation often gets ignored and the partnership continues without the clarity it really needs to move forward. A year is way too long to not understand where you are in your relationship.
No one wants to assume anything these days, especially with all the ghosting happening with couples who think they are in a committed scenario. I talk to clients regularly who are dealing with being blindsided when their partner suddenly just walks away.
A couple needs to communicate from day one!
From the moment you meet someone whom you are interested in, there should be reciprocated communication if you eventually want to have a potential partnership. Do not let things go on for months without clarifying these important details with your partner. Be honest about what you are looking for in a relationship and listen closely to what their needs are as well.
Unfortunately, right now, there are so many grey areas when couples are just starting to get to know each other. This shouldn’t be the case as no one should be left wondering where they stand with someone they are dating. Be open and encourage them to express themself also.
It’s really pretty simple; you either want to be in an exclusive relationship or you don’t. Being evasive or cryptic is not an answer!
Until someone is in a committed partnership they are free to date other people.
If you are being mysterious or playing hard to get, you may be the last to know that your game backfired. Flirting with other people in front of your partner is definitely not OK and trying to get attention by making them jealous is a no-win situation. It just brings in trust issues that may not be able to be repaired.
Be genuine and upfront about what you are looking for within the first few encounters you have with whomever you are dating. It is perfectly OK to have relationship goals and some expectations and in fact, you should have them. Obviously, you don’t want to have a huge scary checklist, but you do want to let them know if you are looking for a partnership.
If someone you just met is only into casual dating and that is not what you are looking for don’t spend a year trying to change their mind. That isn’t your job and nor should it be.
A relationship becomes difficult when you are not listening to what someone tells you in the early stages and you stick around hoping for a better result. If someone says they don’t want a relationship right now, believe them!
Andrew, you need to have some boundaries with your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend may be looking for a reaction from you because she doesn’t know how you really feel about her. You may think that you have communicated this by being attentive and seeing her all the time, but she may not know that your heart is invested for the long haul.
If you haven’t already done so, sit her down and tell her. If she continues to play her flirtatious games with other men and hang out more with her friends, then you will have your answer as to where her heart and her priorities lie.
Sadly, it isn’t with you, but at least you will know how she truly feels and you certainly don’t want to spend any more time with a woman who is playing both sides of the fence. Don’t allow her to be disrespectful towards you. You’re not interested in a part-time scenario, you want a full-time partner to share your life with.
We all learn life lessons from our relationships and it is important that we look at them closely and own the part we played in them. It may have been something we needed to address within ourselves so that we can move on to a higher place of love. It also may have been something we needed to teach our partner at that particular time.
Whatever the case, there is always value to what we learn with every person who enters our life.
Sybersue xo <3
Personal Dating or Relationship Questions for Sybersue? Please contact me via https://www.calltheone.com/susan-mccord and message me there to set up a video call appt. within 24 hours. Thank you!
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My girlfriend is pregnant my kid 11 weeks and she wants space she talking other guy to want I do
I am so sorry to hear this. Have you been with her for a long time or is it a new relationship? Being pregnant makes a woman more in tune with her emotions and she could be thinking differently about her future now. I would need a lot more information to answer this in detail but it does sound like she is pulling away from your relationship.
There isn’t much you can do except to tell her how you feel about her. This should be a very happy time for a couple and the fact that she needs space shows that she isn’t invested in the partnership as much as you may be. Giving her space is one thing but her talking to other guys isn’t OK if you are in a committed partnership.
You can’t make somebody love you but you do have the choice to make your own boundaries. She’s either “in” or she’s “out” and you shouldn’t have to sit on the sidelines while she figures out what she wants. I hope things work out the way you want them to. Hang in there and thank you for taking the time to write.