Now here is a topic that is affecting many people today with the divorce statistics still very high. Ultimate Dating Advice After a Divorce
Leaving a marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with but it doesn’t mean your life is over or that you will never find love again. Divorce can take a huge toll on your self-esteem and keep you guarded and angry for a long time, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Do you really want your Ex to have that much control over you after your breakup? It’s time to re-invent yourself!
There is a reason things didn’t work out in your relationship because there is a new and better path meant for you ahead. It’s not going to be all rainbows and unicorns for the first 6 months, but things will improve when you make the effort to be realistic when comprehending the reasons things dissolved in your partnership.
It takes two people to make or break a relationship so try not to be jaded that it is all the fault of your Ex.
“I’m too scared to date! Who is going to want me? I have children who take all of my time, I am lonely but who wants to come in and take that on?”
Love can happen again for single parents too! I am living proof of that from my own divorce. My husband and I split up when my son was 18 months old. I dated a few guys that didn’t work out long term so I put love as a last priority for awhile. (There is always a “friend with benefits” scenario to be had if you want someone to cuddle with wink, wink!) 😉
I did find that single men who also had children were a better fit for me to date as they understood the dynamics of parenting! The one lesson I really learned (a little too late) as a single mom, was not to deprive yourself or your child of having a loving partnership with someone else. Especially if your Ex chooses not to be involved in your child’s life very often.
It is one thing to have a revolving door of suiters but it is also another thing to shut the door to a committed partnership.
There are some great step-parents out there which I found out when my son was 18! Role models are important at every age but children need them more than ever! My son needed to trust that there were some amazing guys out there that could teach him the manly things that I couldn’t always give him. (Like how to pee in the grown up toilet!)
There is someone special out there, you just have to open your heart up again when you are ready to move on from your partner. It’s OK to be angry and sad while you deal with the aftermath of a divorce.
You should go through all the emotions you are feeling and not bottle them up so you never completely heal. You didn’t sign up for this and it is a very devastating time! You are allowed to cry and feel hurt.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there again, trust me when I tell you it’s worth it to try! Do you really think that your Ex is the only person you can love in one lifetime? NOT!
Let yourself be a little vulnerable by letting down your walls so you have the chance to eventually end up in a healthier partnership that could be much better suited for you.
Do not view divorce as a failure!
Sometimes relationships just run their course and a couple falls out of love or becomes bored or complacent and gives up trying to make it work anymore. Sometimes your partner is just an asshole. Whatever the scenario was that ended your marriage, take some time to evaluate those learned lessons.
Get out of your routine and take some time to be around other people who are more compatible with whom you are today. It’s not just your Ex that has changed, you are probably not the same person you were when you were first married years ago.
We as humans are all continually evolving, but we don’t always grow in the same direction as our spouse. It is up to the couple in their marriage to stay connected and communicative in their partnership.
Unfortunately, you can’t make someone stay in love with you if their heart has moved on. It’s very tough to understand when it isn’t a mutual decision but eventually, you will both be in a much happier place, than faking you’re in a loving marriage that has obviously taken on a new direction.
Dating has changed a lot in the last 10 years but ultimately we are all looking for someone to share our lives with.
Yes, I know, there are people out there that are just into for the sex, (fuckers! literally…) but they are pretty easy to pick out on the dating sites or even on a first date. They just can’t help themselves in making sex a conversation priority! That is the first red flag!
If you are looking for a committed partnership do not sleep with someone right away! If they move on quickly because of that, then you have your answer as to what they are looking for!
Who cares if they leave, they did you a favor. Don’t look at it as rejection focused towards you. You rejected them and you are now in control of who you let into your life. That’s a good thing!
Get out with friends as often as possible, start a new hobby, take a course or join some meetup groups that offer mingling scenarios. The best thing you can do to get ready to date again after a divorce is to get back your self-esteem and rebuild your confidence! This can happen by diversifying your life on a regular basis.
Hire a dating coach to help you regain your confidence. Things have changed a lot since you got married and they can help set you in the right direction.
The more you put yourself out there, the bigger the chance you will have of meeting some new friends and eventually be open to receiving a romantic partner into your life.
Love happens at every age and I know this to be true because I am one of those people who found love again after a long divorce.
Always keep your heart open. <3
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Sybersue xo <3
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Advice Show