Am I Looking For Love In All the Wrong Places?

Am I Looking For Love In All the Wrong Places?

Pixabay ready for love hand-1044883_1280

I am saddened by how many men and women complain about the difficulties they have enjoying a successful dating life.  Both sexes must learn how to open up and talk to each other without initial harsh judgment or sabotage due to their own subconscious insecurities.

Men & women need to make an effort to understand their gender differences and embrace them instead of finding fault with each other!

Not too long ago a friend of mine was publicly reprimanded by a male radio host for a blog she posted about being an Alpha Female. The guy who started this negative feedback regularly discusses women on his show in a derogatory way.

Why do we do this to each other and why are some men and women so damn angry?

People are just not meeting face to face as often and it is so easy to vent their frustration behind a computer rather than figure out why things aren’t working for them. The biggest change you can make is to get outside and talk to real people!

Hiding behind your dating profile doesn’t help you mingle or give you incentive that there are some really great men and women out there in your city! Listening to others complain online about their dating woes or never meeting anyone of substance can become negatively embedded into your mind.

The reason online dating apps and computer dating is so popular is because both men and women lack ideas or creativity on where to rendezvous when they want to meet a potential date.  It also has a lot to do with self-esteem and fear of rejection as well.

The most obvious choice for many is the bar & nightclub scene. This is “one night stand” territory no matter how you look at it. There will always be the exception of a few people who end up in a committed relationship with someone they meet in a club, but for the most part it is a short lived scenario.

Many people wake up the next day & seldom call the number they have in their coat pocket from the night before. (This is mainly due to too much alcohol & lack of confidence to make the phone call. Or they can’t remember the conversation or what they even look like!!)

Meeting in a lounge or a restaurant is a better environment to potentially meet someone but you have to be more confident to actually talk to them without the dance option available at night clubs.

Alcohol is a great relaxer for many women & it also gives men liquid courage to approach a woman. This is why the bar scene is a repetitive hangout for so many frustrated people. Unfortunately it is usually the same old story every weekend & everyone wakes up perturbed & lonely and the pattern continues.

Some of the situations to be aware of when meeting a potential partner:

  • If you are using online dating services be aware that some people are only really interested in a sexual relationship. Really pay attention to what their profile says & notice any red flags with their pictures. Photos really are worth a thousand words on most online dating sites and many people choose to ignore these obvious signs!
  • Don’t get caught up and blinded by a person’s status! These are men and women who only date or sleep with a certain high profile type. These people usually frequent the same establishments and word travels fast. Do you really want to be known as a groupie? (You may not even be aware that you have this reputation.)
  • Be aware of men & women who are looking for a sugar daddy/mama type lifestyle and will only date someone in this financial league. They are usually pretty easy to spot so keep your eyes open and observe. Body language is also a dead giveaway.
  • Don’t allow yourself to be the constant mistress! Married men will not come to you continually unless you are sending out vulnerable and available signals. You should never be OK being number 2 in a relationship.
  • People who only date the perfect & beautiful types.  Their physical standards are so high that everything else is overlooked in the relationship. Both sexes fall into this category.

External riches do not necessarily bring internal riches.

Finding true love should not be abusive or emotionally painful. Getting yourself stuck in a routine will close doors on other available options that could ultimately work for you.

If you classify yourself as a certain “type” or that you only like a certain type of person, you will be forever stuck in repetitive scenarios.  Fear can be a powerful relationship suppressor, so be cognizant of forming any patterns that keep you from having love in your life because you are afraid of what may or may not happen.

Challenge those internal demons as to why you don’t feel worthy of having love in your life.

If you don’t have the strength to get out of  reoccurring heart breaking situations, then start observing some of your friends who may be stronger than you and follow their lead. (Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to hire someone professionally for a short time.)

Change up your dating patterns & the venues so that you have a better chance of meeting someone of substance.  Everyone deserves love!

Some of the 10 best places to meet at least start up a good conversation:

  1. Golf driving range or at an Executive Par 3 course as less serious golfers will go there. (Unless of course you are a great player!)
  2. Tennis court (Use the back wall where other solo players will practice.)
  3. The gym (Be friendly & acknowledge people near you ~ Say hi & take off your headphones!) It really is the easiest place to strike up a conversation.
  4. Airport (Talk to people in the holding room or restaurants.)
  5. Hiking trails or a Beach/Park with high people traffic.
  6. Sporting venue (hockey game, baseball game, soccer match, golf spectator etc.)
  7. Any mingle social event or lounge  (Do not seat yourself in a booth; always stay open to the room.)
  8. Meet up groups (Check your local area for the numerous groups available or start one of your own! Thursday night pub night or something to that effect.)
  9. Take a course or join a group activity where there will be men and women attending who have similar interests as you. That way you already have something in common.
  10. Speed Dating & Online Dating sites/apps (Do your homework & find the best ones that work for you.) Don’t waste much time texting back and forth. If they don’t want to meet up sooner than later, move on.

The worst thing you can do is stay home and complain that you are not meeting anyone or that all men and women are messed up. There are some wonderful people who are just as ready as you are to be in a loving relationship.

Don’t become a non-believer and get stuck in a circle of negative thinking. If it ain’t working change it up!

You are in charge of you, so listen to your instincts and work out the kinks that may be causing you to sabotage love from entering your life. It’s totally your decision and no one else.

We have to stop pointing fingers at each other and be responsible for our own happiness. Being defensive will not bring you what you are looking for long term; it will keep repelling it away from you.

Be open & ready to receive a loving partnership into your life. ❤

Susan McCord @ Please Check Out My YouTube Channel for Videos on similar topics!    The Dear Sybersue Talk Show 

Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

Dear Sybersue: My Boyfriend Sent me an Email Saying He Wants to Take a Break in Our Relationship!

Susan-McCord-Dear-Sybersue-taking-a-break photo

Dear Sybersue,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I am 26 and he is 34. Last month he told me (by an email) he wanted to take a break in our relationship. He said he needed a month so he could work on his future, where he wanted to settle & eventually find work as a financial planner. I have been supportive with his schooling and living separately for all this time we have been together so I must admit I was pretty shocked when he made this announcement out of the blue!

We are very compatible and have a decent sex life when we see each other a few times a week when he has time, and I drive out to see him. We live about 40 miles from each other which isn’t a huge deal in travel time but it does make it less spontaneous to meet up for coffee or lunch dates. It always has to be planned out which can take away from some of the natural benefits of living closer to each other.

I asked him why he wanted this break NOW after 3 years and he said he just wanted to be alone to decide without any interaction with me or have any other distractions. He is not exactly sure what he wants. He said he wouldn’t date anyone else and that’s not what this break is all about. I am not sure I believe him though as he has been checking out otherwomen lately when I am with him and tells me when girls hit on him.

This break really hurts me and now that 6 weeks have passed, it hurts even more. I told him I would give him the month but now that time frame has come and gone. I am sure that he is going to keep this break going until I question him about it again. There has been no contact other than the original email and my return email to him. I did try calling him once about it but he didn’t call me back.

Am I a fool to keep waiting for him? He has a lot more time now that he has finished school so I don’t understand why he needs a break to feel things out? Shouldn’t he know by now what he wants in his life?

Thanks and I will be waiting for your response.
Sarah88

Click this link below to read Dear Sybersue’s answer:

http://www.theswexperts.com/dear-sybersue-my-boyfriend-wants-to-take-a-break-in-our-relationship-after-3-years/

Dear Sybersue Paperback Book is Now Published!

Dear Sybersue Paperback Book

Dear Sybersue Paperback Book

Hi everyone!

I have been working very hard this past year on my #ebook and I have now completed my #paperback book with double the original content! It has been approved for publishing! I am very excited to have made this happen! It is now available on numerous sites.

Here is a link at Amazon.com

Here is a link at Barnes & Noble and Smashwords

I will be organizing a book launch in Vancouver and any other events that I can attend and will post the details on my facebook page and my other #socialmedia sites! #DearSybersue is a great read for both men & women of all ages!  There is something for everyone regardless of relationship or dating status!

Thank you to all of you who have kept me inspired over the years. I appreciate your “Likes,” your comments, your subscriptions, your questions and your support!

hugs always xo Susan (Sybersue)

New Personal Blog From Talk Show Host Susan McCord

Hi everyone~

I am very happy to have added this new blog to my numerous collection of websites. I want this one to be more of a personal opinion rather than the articles that I usually write for my video topics. Please connect with me anytime & send me any questions you have on dating & relationships as well. I love to banter back & forth with positive feedback. I will be starting an Internet Radio Talk Show in June that will be VERY candid. I hope you will follow me there & add to the conversation!

I will keep you updated as soon as I get more information on the finished programming!

In the meantime please check out my Online Talk Show on my YouTube channel
@ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

~I give great support to other websites so please comment & subscribe so I know where to find you~

Looking forward to meeting new friends~xo Susan