Every relationship needs two willing parties to make it work. Changing everything all at once may not be possible, but with love, patience, teamwork, and prioritizing your partner, these are all great steps to making your relationship better and stronger.
It is perfectly acceptable to ask her what her relationship goals are. If you are using dating apps or online websites I always suggest that you post your own personal goals in your profile description. That way there aren’t any questions and that anyone reading it knows you are looking for a life partner.
If you are putting way more energy into a new relationship than you are receiving from them, you are setting a precedence that will always put you in a lopsided and controlled scenario.