Are you Choosing Unhealthy Relationships due to Your Childhood Issues?

In today’s video above Dear Sybersue discusses relationship patterns that may need changing due to unhealthy childhood memories.

  • Is there always a lot of drama or repetition in your partnerships or dating scenarios??
  • Does your partner remind you of things in your past that were hurtful, abusive or sad within your family?
  • Are there characteristics in your partner that remind you of either of your parents? Are they overly controlling, possessive or emotionally unavailable?

People tend to be creatures of habit and wander towards familiar environments which aren’t necessarily a safe or happy place to be.

Break ups happen because that person wasn’t right for you. You are meant to learn from the demise of it and move on to a more fulfilling partnership. But…unfortunately many people repeat the same mistakes and go back for more of the same thing because it is what they know!

Staying in these type of situations is one of the biggest reasons many men & women spend so much time dealing with low self esteem and self doubt in all aspects of their lives.

Your partner is supposed to be an extension of the incredible person that you are; not take away from who you are.

If you are constantly putting yourself in these hot & cold, loveless relationships because this is familiar to you from your past family life, you may need to talk to a counselor or  therapist to help you through this repetitive cycle.

Sometimes you just can’t do it alone and it is a strength to be able to admit this to yourself. ❤

Once you analyze & start to understand why you make certain relationship choices, it is much easier to find real love and end up on a happier path. Childhood drama in ingrained in our hearts, body and soul; it is not an easy thing to erase overnight and asking for help to make these changes is a good thing.

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue @ youtube/dearsybersue
Blogs& Advice Column @ sybersue.com

Dear Sybersue ~ I Have no Tolerance for Relationship Red Flags! NEXT!

Relationship Red Flags are warning signs that your date or partner puts out that should make your intuitive antenna stand to attention!

This topic may seem like a never ending discussion but there is a reason for that!  Many people continue to ignore those “spidey senses” or better known as their gut intuition.   People are more willing to settle now due to the difficulty in meeting someone today and will overlook many of the obvious red flag obstacles.  We are all stuck behind our careers, computers & smart phones which makes it harder to have face to face connections but that doesn’t mean we should become ignorant about things!

The 10 Most Obvious Red Flags Not To Be Overlooked In The Early Stages Of A Relationship:

• Possessiveness
• They say they are going to call & don’t.
• They are always late  (A clear indication that their time is more important than yours.)
• Lying (about their age, job, their single status, or their past.)
• They use a lot of sarcasm!
• They have no friends or talk negatively about the few they do have.
• They have a large checklist!
• They do not divulge anything about themselves on a personal level.
• Promotes them self & asks little about you.
• Extremely defensive & invalidates your opinions or views.

Red Flags in a Relationship

Red Flags in a Relationship

Here Are Some Of The Most Common Red Flags:

1) Someone who make excuses why they are too busy to get together when the real reason is ~ they just aren’t that into you but want to keep their options open.  Please watch this video about “Taking a break in a relationship”

2) They pick a fight with you so they can go to Vegas or other weekend ventures with their friends.

3) They often call you for late night booty calls.

4) They call you last minute for a date on a Friday/Saturday night! (How far down the dating list were you?)

5) Still living at home with mama after 25 & they are not in University.

6) They are constantly jealous. This is often because of what they are doing or thinking behind your back.

7) They regularly use humor at your expense. This is a huge sign of insecurity and you should run as fast as you can. No one should use you as their means of so called humor.

8) Ladies: If your date shows up with a station wagon and child seats, make sure he really is single!

9) Constantly talking about an EX.

10) Easily angered all the time, abusive to restaurant staff or has road rage on a regular basis.

11) Men: Gold diggers are pretty obvious, so make sure she is worth every penny of your reputation! You may think you look good with her on your arm but the whole world knows why she is there. (If that is OK with you, milk it for every cent it is going to cost you!)

12) People who say they are separated but you can’t call them at work or home & you never get to go to their place. (They communicate through texting & when you do get a phone call they sound like they are in the shower ~ bathrooms are a cheaters favorite location!)

13) If they tell you their relationship is over but they can’t leave their situation right now.  If they can’t put them self out there 100%, they shouldn’t be dating and you shouldn’t date them hoping things will improve.

14) Anyone who neglects their children “for you” shows their true colors very early.  Children should always come first or at least close to an equal priority. Deadbeat parents are not acceptable.

15) Ladies, unless you like cross dressers, coming across any female underwear in their bachelor home is the biggest red flag you will ever have in front of your face.

16) They have a dog or pet that takes priority in their bed over you. (They even have their own pillow!)

17) “In” fast usually means “Out” fast ~ watch how quickly they promise you the world.

18) They are secretive about things, especially their past.

Recognizing & acknowledging the smaller red flags during the early stages of a relationship & discussing them, can help make the relationship better understood. Not all red flags mean the demise of a relationship but your morals & boundaries should not be compromised.

Some red flags should never be ignored or overlooked and should be addressed without naivety or ignorance. Violence, uncontrolled anger and rage, drinking and drug abuse, persistent gambling, or infidelities during the early stages of a relationship are signs that the relationship should be terminated.

Too many of us waste time trying to believe in someone because we don’t want to be alone. Why do we do that to ourselves?  Believe in yourself first & know that you are worthy of a loving partnership.  Learn from each relationship or situation to better yourself & your choices in the future.  Repetitive patterns and allowing these red flag scenarios will keep you in abusive & drama filled situations.  When you come to terms with your insecurities that are allowing these type of relationships to happen, you will start to make wiser connections that are healthy. Acknowledging your short comings & behavioral patterns will be the savior in not allowing these people to keep entering your life.  You will start to see a clearer picture of the type of relationship you desire and really deserve.

Your self-worth is the key to your happiness.

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com.twobeavers