I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

I am Secretly Seeing My Best Friend’s Ex Husband! What should I do?

In the video above Dear Sybersue answers a question from a woman on her advice column who is secretly seeing her best friends Ex husband! She wants to know what she should do and how she should handle it!

It’s maybe a bit late to feel guilty about it now don’t you think???

Loyalty makes or breaks a friendship or relationship. When someone feels betrayed it is very difficult to win back their trust! Why should they trust you when you made a choice that was so disrespectful them?

True friends are very difficult to find these days so you better make sure that when you decide to go behind their back or play both sides of the fence, that you are OK to lose them forever.

Yes; I know there are times when the heart just can’t help falling in love with someone who is taboo for us but you can still try damn hard to walk away and not allow it to happen.

The last thing you should do is secretly hide this romance from your best friend who it will obviously deeply hurt. Don’t be a coward.

This happens way too often and makes the heartbreak even harder to get over. It’s now a double edged sword for your best friend who has lost her husband & the friendship she had with you. It will also change her friendships with others who decide to hang out with you & her Ex!

You have to ask yourself if this is really what you want for the long haul. Will you ever feel OK about hurting your best friend and all the drama that will follow you afterward? Is it worth it?

Is the EX husband really serious about you or are you just a rebound scenario that he will tire of when the excitement of the “forbidden fruit” infatuation” wears off? Did you just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time or is this a real love that neither of you can live without?

Whatever the case, there needs to be respect shown towards your friend. She should not be the last to know and it should be discussed sooner than later. Do not let things go on for months without letting her know and keep hanging out with her as if nothing has changed!

There is a small chance that if she is over her ex husband and her heart has moved on, she may be able to deal with this situation. Give her the courtesy of telling her the truth and you just never know. At the very least she won’t feel quite as betrayed if she finds out before it becomes neighborhood or Facebook gossip.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Important Things to Think about During a Divorce or Relationship Breakup!

Important Things to Think about During a Divorce or Relationship Breakup!

Image: Image: Stock representation of couple

Dealing with a breakup of a marriage or long term relationship will always be a very hurtful time but it doesn’t mean you are a failure or your life is over. There are thousands of people in the same situation but the good news is; there is someone special out there for you when you are ready to receive them. The most important thing to remember is we all deserve real love in our lives but we have to allow it into our lives! Life is definitely complicated and we are all here on this continual learning curve about who we are and what really makes us happy.

What makes so many of us choose the wrong person?

Sometimes this happens when we are young and naive; or we settle for someone we don’t really love. We may talk ourselves into a relationship due our ticking biological clocks and having children, the pressure from our family and friends or we just get caught up in the romantic or sexual nature of it all without making sure the relationship is a really good fit. A “forever” partnership is not an easy thing to maintain for the average couple as we are all evolving at different stages in our lives. Unless we grow in similar directions, this will be a big problem for many people.

5 tell tale indicators that your marriage/relationship is over:

  • You’ve lost that loving feeling ~ you no longer look forward to coming home and find reasons not to.
  • You feel constant anxiety in their presence ~ whether it be from fear/abusive situations, extreme boredom or loss of respect for them.
  • There is no sexual attraction at all & in some cases you may even feel repulsed by the thought of it.
  • You both have absolutely nothing in common ~ you have grown in completely different directions.
  • You’ve tried counselling and even they give you a business card for a divorce lawyer!

So now what do you do? What will everyone say and how do you deal with the aftermath?

People talk and love a good story so don’t give them one. It is sad but true how others get enjoyment out of someone else’s misery! Be careful not to allow those people to get too close to you at this vulnerable time. You are fragile enough without having to deal with all the gossip and judgmental comments from them as well. This is your life and no one should be talking about your business but you & your Ex; especially if there are children involved. It is easy to vent to anyone who will listen but it really is in your best interest to only divulge things to a trusted friend or family member. You don’t need the added drama.

Isn’t it easier just to stay in this relationship rather to have to fight to get out of it?

Nothing is easier when it is unhealthy. Everyone deserves to be happy and have a loving partnership. Many people stay in relationships due to the kids but don’t fool yourself into thinking this is always the best scenario. Children are sponges and pick up on a lot more than you may realize. If they see a loveless marriage for most of their lives it can cause problems in their own relationships down the road. Money is another big reason for many couples to stay together but you have to ask yourself if it is really worth it in the long run to be tied to someone for only that reason. You are holding on to one aspect and giving up so many other qualities of life. It’s not all about the big house or fancy car; reciprocated love and great sex is worth way more than any material item.

10 steps that can help you to get over a divorce or long term relationship breakup:  Click Here to Continue Reading More of this post!

Article by Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talkshow

SW Photo IMPORTANT-THINGS-TO-REMEMBER-DURING-A-DIVORCE-OR-BREAK-UP

Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be a Bad Thing ~ The Joy of Ex Author Discusses Divorce

Author & divorce coach Debbie Burgin discusses her book “The Joy of Ex” which is based on “dealing with the trials & tribulations of divorce”. She shares her expertise with Talk Show Host Susan McCord on how to find yourself & start over with wonderful new beginnings on a different life path.

Life has different cycles that we all go through which changes how we think & perceive our choices. In the past, couples stayed together because it was the norm! You made your bed so now you literally had to lie in it. This is not the case anymore with many men & women in successful careers & not as dependent on one another ~ marriage is on much more of an even footing today. The persona of 50’s housewife June Clever is becoming less & less who women want to portray. While it can be wonderful not to have to work while raising our children, there is a sense of self worth for women to be able to have a life outside the home as well.

When a marriage dissolves & becomes an everyday burden, you have many choices on how to handle it today. There are many more counseling options, numerous relationship books & videos, divorce groups & the divorce or separation laws are much more user friendly & fair to both sexes. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship anymore. Teaching your children how to move on from an unhappy situation is much better than pretending to be in a blissful family situation. Don’t underestimate the intelligence of your kids regardless of their age. (Body language is a dead give away.)

We all have great intentions of making our relationships work when we say “I Do” ~ We don’t go into a marriage knowing we will only be together for limited time. Take what you can from the memories or your time together & enjoy them. There were many reasons you fell in love & made a commitment but now life has new plans for you. Remember the Quote; “People come into your life for a Reason, Season Or a Lifetime.” Knowing when to let go is part of maturity & self respect. It is a growth that we never stop learning from. When deciding on whether you are ready to move on, make sure you have exhausted all your options to making your marriage work & if you are ready to start a new life, divorce can be a good thing.

Susan McCord http://www.interviewtalkshow.com
Debbie Burgin http://www.thejoyofex.net