Dear Sybersue does something a little out of the box today and talks about her own relationship.
How do you make a partnership work when you both enjoy different activities? When one of you is more extroverted than the other? Opposites attract but seldom stay together; so… can you compromise as a couple?
To maintain happiness in any relationship both people in the partnership need to make a continual effort and make each other a priority. That doesn’t mean you are together 24/7 or that you put your passions on the back burner; it means that your communication with them is reciprocated and respected.
You find a healthy way to be there for each other & make time for your own needs as well.
When we give up too much of ourselves while in a committed relationship that is the beginning of a downward spiral for many couples. Resentment then starts to play a big part in your everyday existence. This is one of the main reasons some people are opposed to being in a long term commitment! They feel trapped but it doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t have to become another breakup statistic if you are really paying attention & listening to your partner. Do you really want to live with someone exactly like you??? Wouldn’t that be boring?
You obviously don’t want to be at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but having a few interests that differ from your partner is a good thing. It’s healthy and gives you a freedom that many people lose when they become a couple.
When you grow together & keep trying new things, the diversity will be the key to a long & happy union. Embrace the differences that you both bring to the relationship! Who knows, you may try something new and actually enjoy it!
Dear Sybersue answers this popular topic from her advice column!
“What is the key to keeping a relationship from becoming boring and routine!”
It is much easier than many couples realize! You don’t have to become another divorce statistic if this a part of your weekly practice! Not only will it change up the dynamics of your partnership, you will have fun at the same time!
Keep your partner wanting more by being MORE of who you are!
In the video above Dear Sybersue discusses the importance of keeping your relationship love alive. The number one priority in any relationship is communication. It is the glue of any successful long term partnership.
If you can’t talk to each other openly and honestly it could eventually lead to the demise of you as a couple. Parents have to work especially hard at this due to their own busy schedules and also managing the children with their daily routine and activities.
The important thing to remember here is that you need to nurture your relationship first and let the kids take a back seat once in awhile. Without the fiery love that you both shared in the earlier stages of your romance, there wouldn’t be any little ones running around.
Many people forget that and over time relationships become a platonic environment. This is not what you signed up for so be aware of how to keep things fresh between you and your partner all year long!
Ten Top Tips to Keep Your Love Strong:
Talk, talk,talk!
This can’t be emphasized enough! This goes for all subjects in both of your lives. Understand and be interested in what each other does in your careers and your personal hobbies or passions. If something is bothering you, do not dismiss having a conversation about it.
The reason it is called a partnership is because you are supposed to share things with one another. Give each other your full attention when one of you is talking. Listen to each other and really hear what they are saying.
Money is a big relationship Stress.
Sadly, money is one of the top reasons for the uprising in the divorce statistics. Set a budget that is adhered to and respected between you both. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on the kids. They would much rather have parents that are happy together than the latest gadget that goes out of date the following year.
Schedule in weekly date nights!
You need to make time for each other on a regular basis especially during stressful times of the year. You should never be too busy for each other. If you fall apart so does your family. Get a sitter in and go out for dinner or swap child minding time with a neighbor or relative that also has children. Don’t ever forget to love each other and show each other how you feel.
Make an effort to look good for yourself and your partner.
A little sex appeal is important! Be that person you were when you first met each other. They fell in love with you for a reason, so always remember that and keep the attraction alive.
It only takes a few minutes to put in a little personal effort which will add miles to your relationship because it shows you care. Share a half an hour every day before dinner to chat about your day unwinding over a glass of wine or cup of tea without any distractions.
Sex is another very big priority in a relationship.
Sex doesn’t have to consist of an hour of foreplay. A quick visit behind a locked door when the kids are out or watching their favorite TV show, puts a brand new refreshing spring in your step and keeps you close as a couple. Regular sex can make so many other family issues seem less problematic. Making love is very therapeutic!
Thanksgiving, Christmas & other Holidays bring family stresses that are enhanced during those times of the year.
As a couple you need to discuss where you will be spending the holidays and figure out a system that works for your own family and also for your in-laws. There will need to be a lot of compromising on this subject due to the expectations some family members have around these festive occasions.
You need to be on the same page as your partner and supportive of each other with any family drama that occurs.
Having each others back is very important throughout your years together as a couple.
Be communicative & selective with your social activities.
Trying to do it all puts a lot of tension on you as a couple. You don’t have to do everything! Annual work events/ parties should be attended by you both together but you might want to compromise by doing alternate years. It is very meaningful and appreciated when you support each others careers.
“Couples who play together stay together!”
Having things in common is another important factor to maintaining a flourishing partnership. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a hobby or activity that you do separately, but spending time doing fun things together keeps you connected.
Make sure you allot some time at least once a week where you can get out of the house together and away from the everyday routine in the home.
The little things count.
Anytime you can be romantic with each other will help you get through many other pressures life offers. Leaving your partner a loving ”post it note” or sending sweet text messages every so often, is a beautiful way to show you are thinking about them throughout the hectic days.
Words are very powerful so communicating your feelings in these simple ways can keep your love alive for many years to come!
Be kind to one another.
Your partner is your number one priority and should be treated as so. You fell in love for a reason and that should be always be cherished. Take time to love one another and have those special romantic moments.
By being aware and continually communicating with each other with a reciprocated respect, it is possible to create never-ending love filled memories with your partner.
Why do many of us become lazy or complacent in our relationships? Shouldn’t nurturing our partnership be the most important priority in our lives?
As a relationship and dating coach I find this to be one of the biggest reasons why many couples break up. “They think that this is the natural progression of every relationship; the love and passion fizzles out with time. That’s just the way it is, nothing you can do about it.”
Yes, this can be a very true statement for those people who give up on making their partner the top priority in their lives but not at all true for those couples who understand how important it is to always keep your family in the number 1 slot!
Taking anything for granted in life becomes an issue over time!
Relationships are a lot of work and I often compare them to having a full time job. That’s OK though because anything worth having doesn’t come easy. People change, we all change and so do circumstances in our lives. We can’t expect our partnerships to be smooth sailing at every turn when we are dealing with all of life’s twists & turns.
There is always something we have to deal with as adults which includes our jobs, our financial situations, our health, becoming parents or maybe having to relocate to another city for a new career, etc.
The grass is seldom greener on the other side so it is a smart choice to water the grass at home first. It will be a repeat scenario within any relationship, so learning how to nurture the love between the two of you on a continual basis will be the key to a long & happy home-life.
You fell in love for a reason; never become complacent and forget why. ❤
In the video above Dear Sybersue talks about “your” relationship. Is it balanced and healthy or does your partner belittle you and try to squash who you are as a person?
A partnership needs to be nurtured with encouragement & love! There is no place for negative comments or ridiculing in a relationship. One sided relationships need to be addressed and the communication between a couple should never be put on the back burner.
When you ignore the big red flags in your life you are not in alignment with yourself and your needs. Don’t let things go past the point of trying to repair your relationship. Sharing & reciprocating your feelings with your partner will at least give you some clarity on what is really going on with the two of you.
Don’t ever be afraid to have respect for yourself. Your relationship should be your safe place; free of drama, anxiety and negativity.
Dealing with relationship issues is an ongoing battle with many couples. Why is it so difficult to maintain the respectful, fun loving partnership that we all had in the early stages of “courtship?” Is that even a word anymore or am I dating myself again? 😉
Some people have become lazy and don’t prioritize their relationships due to how busy they are in every other area of their life. Is this smart? We put so much effort into our jobs and our kids but we don’t nurture the person that we love? That’s just crazzzzzzzzy to me!
We all spend so much time trying to find the perfect mate to share our life, telling anyone who will listen that dating sucks and there are so few choices of suitable partners out there! Then when we finally meet that special person and make the commitment that we have been waiting for, we become complacent and slowly let it fizzle into nothingness. What the???
As I have said in numerous blog posts and videos “Love is like a full time job!” This isn’t a bad thing! There will always be challenges, but like your career or your family, you don’t usually walk away from them because of a few obstacles that you have to deal with here and there. Life is a bitch sometimes but that’s OK. It keeps us from getting bored and melting into our couch alone every night. Think about that…
Hope you like the video ❤
PS: What do you do in your relationship to keep the love alive? Please leave a comment below. xo
