Why Dating isn’t a “Game” & How Men Should Really be “Playing”it.

Why Dating isn’t a “Game” & How Men Should Really be “Playing”it.

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“Both sexes constantly rant that dating is all one big game! “He only wants sex” and “she is a materialistic gold digger!” How often have you said these exact lines to your friends complaining about the lack of potential partner availability?”

Dating doesn’t have to suck!

Guys; you need to be your authentic self and show women how amazing you are. You are not a stereotypical man lumped into the category: “All men are the same!”

Saying that; all women are not the same either and if you want to meet that special lady to eventually share your life with; you have to be ready and open, to allow her to come into your life.

I know you’ve tried over and over again and nothing, nada, zilch has happened to make you stand up, take notice and believe that there is a woman out there for you. Have you ever thought that you could be stuck in a dating pattern?

Is it possible that you may be a little guilty of choosing the same type of woman that doesn’t work for you? Or are you too quick to make assumptions about a woman and who you think she is before you talk to her? (I have definitely had some of my own judgemental moments in that department during my past dating experiences!)

I have had many exasperated men reach out to my advice column with their frustration towards women. “I can’t find any quality women to date!”

Do you really believe that there are no good women out there or is it a two-sided situation with both sexes contributing equally? You may not even be aware of how often your own words or thoughts may have put you into the “game zone” of dating.

  • Do you like the chase or challenge with a woman?
  • Do you find yourself waiting for over a week before you text or call a woman for a second date?
  • Are you playing the bad boy routine because you think nice guys always finish last?
  • Are you sexually active on the first few dates and then ghost women (run away) when you lose interest?

Be aware of the type of woman you are attracting.

Do you have a similar type? Is she trophy wife good looking and takes 2 hours to get ready? Is she high maintenance, a game player or evasive towards you? If your love life is in a lull at the moment, it may be time to start analyzing your choices. You may not realize you are dating the same type of woman that doesn’t work out for you.

Switch it up! You like to fix broken things right? So do it in your personal life too.

Are you a very visual man and “looks” are the highest priority on your dating checklist? This can eliminate some amazing women that may not be a perfect 10 but who could be very compatible with you.

I am not saying you should overlook having a chemistry with someone you just met but don’t write a woman off because she is not “super model” beautiful or doesn’t reek of sexual pheromones.

Learn to stand out by not playing games:

  1. When you are serious and ready to meet a wonderful woman, get yourself out to as many activities or events as possible. While online dating is a great resource, there is nothing that teaches you how to interact with women better than talking to them in person.
  2. It can be a scary and intimidating place at first so take baby steps by just smiling or saying hi to women you see in a coffee shop, event or at a restaurant. They don’t have to be someone you are interested in. Just be friendly and slowly get used to communicating with others.
  3. Practice makes perfect!
  4. Stay away from the women that haven’t worked for you in the past and put your attention towards someone you might not normally date.  You don’t have to ask every girl out that you have a conversation with.
  5. You may be surprised how much you will enjoy chatting with women that are not your usual checklist type.
  6. Get used to being friendly with both men and women everywhere you go. Really try not to make early judgements and look at each person individually. If your gut screams out “NO” to you then listen to it and move on. You don’t have to spend time with people who you don’t feel safe with or have any connection to.
  7. When you do ask a woman out; be yourself.
  8. Be honest with what you say to her and not what you think she wants to hear. Be a gentleman. Be real. Follow through with date plans, don’t be late or reschedule, put any first date sexual expectations on hold, show confidence and make sure the conversation is reciprocated and interesting.
  9. Humor always adds a relaxed vibe to the date and ensures a comfort zone early on.
  10. If you want to see her again, tell her that. No games! Call her the next day and thank her for the great evening. It shows strength to a woman when you respond without worrying about all the archaic dating rules of when you should or shouldn’t call.

Dating can be a lot of fun! Men who understand that all women have something unique to offer and are beautiful in their own way are the ones that end up the happiest down the long road of romance.  Don’t let that incredible lady get away because you categorized her into the “no date” zone too quickly.

We all have flaws and insecurities and no one is better than anyone else.

Try not to sabotage your love-life due to fear, games or stifling thoughts and get yourself out there to meet the woman you deserve to have in your world.

You are worthy of love and all you have to do is to gradually let down your guard and shake off those cobwebs of past thinking to bring it towards you.  No one said relationships were easy but by adding new beliefs and removing old patterns will definitely put you on a brighter path of optimism in all aspects of your life.

Susan McCord @ http://www.sybersue.com

Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/DearSybersue

The Dear Sybersue Talk Show YouTube @ http://www.youtube.com/c/susanmccord