My Cheating Ex Wants to be Friends! (He is Still Dating the Girl Who he Cheated With!)

My Cheating Ex Wants to be Friends! (He is Still Dating the Girl Who he Cheated With!)

How do you explain to your ex that you cannot be friends while they date the person they cheated on you with? (Original post on Quora)

Susan McCord
Susan McCord, Susan McCord is a Dating/Relationship/Lifestyle Talk Show Host &Published Author

I noticed how you said “while” they date the person they cheated on you with. Why would you want to be friends with a man that has no respect for you, whether he is with this woman or not? We all get that forgiveness is a part of healing, but it doesn’t mean you have to be friends or keep him in your life after he blatantly cheated on you.

He wants to be friends with you because it helps him relieve his guilt but that has nothing to do with your feelings, it’s about him. He also may be keeping you in the background in case he wants to rekindle something later on or keep the new girl feeling insecure.

Hurtful relationships are the stepping stones to a better place, but first you have to learn the lessons as to why you were with someone.

  • What did you learn about your time with them?
  • Was there something about yourself that needed to be woken up?
  • What attracted you towards him in the beginning?
  • Are you drawn to bad boys?
  • Were you shown love as a child?
  • Do you base a relationship primarily on how much sexual chemistry you have with them?
  • Was he with someone else when you met him?

The red flags are usually right in front of us early on in a relationship but many people choose to ignore them. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors and the more often you remove yourself from people who hurt you or use you, the sooner you will meet the people who should be in your life.

Oh and by the way… you do not have to explain anything to him. His actions towards you said it all.

Give your energy & love to people who appreciate you. ❤

I did this video a short time ago that you may want to see about relationships.

“Love Gone Wrong Could be Something you Needed to Learn about Yourself”

Cheating in a Relationship: Can you forgive?

I love you! It didn’t mean anything, it was just sex!”


How many times have you heard this line on TV or in real life? Would you be able to get past your partner cheating on you & if you were able to forgive them could you ever really forget? Which sex has the harder time dealing with this scenario?

Why Do Some Women Cheat?

  • When they feel emotionally rejected or bottom of the priority list.
  • In retaliation to a cheating partner
  • Lack of romance or sexual intimacy at home.
  • Loneliness in their partnership due to work or travel demands.
  • Weakness or self esteem issues (the sexual pursuer senses vulnerability in her & takes advantage of it.)

Why Do Some Men Cheat?

  • Temptation due to a sexually aggressive woman.
  • Bored sexually at home.
  • Sexual addictions or very high sex drive!
  • Commitment issues.
  • Their partner is not interested in sex.
  • Not receiving the type of sex they prefer.
  • Forbidden fruit or the excitement of new sexual scenarios.
  • Subconsciously trying to end their relationship.

While you might be able to forgive someone for cheating, both men & women never really lose that deep feeling of hurt & or get back the trust 100% in their broken relationship. (Of course it depends on what transpired for someone to take the risk in cheating outside the partnership.) It is never easy to move on & forgive but a onetime situation is probably easier to get past than a full blown affair that lasted for several months or years. This wound may never heal because they invested their time with someone else while lying to you for an extended period of time! That premeditated relationship will never be forgotten for the person who was deceived & humiliated.

Being the last one to know your partner is having an intimate liaison outside your home is devastating!

Cheating or being cheated on at a young age can be life altering in a few ways. It can either help make you “clearly” see how you played a part in it, or mess you up for years after depending on how your ego deals with it. Cheating can actually be the catalyst to subconsciously getting out of a bad relationship; but you should be strong enough to end it without bringing someone else into the mix! Breakups are difficult enough without adding the hurt of infidelity.

Part of maturity & growth is learning how to evolve from life’s twists & turns. This includes every person you have allowed into your heart; what did you learn & why were they there? Everyone you meet has a purpose as to why entered your world. Understanding the message will help you continue onto the next exciting path. Holding onto anger or continually choosing abusive relationships will only hinder your future happiness. Toxic behavior needs to be removed for a person to become whole.

When a relationship is in need of a change, the signs are usually there right from the start but many couples choose to overlook them. This is the dangerous part of a relationship when nurturing needs to be addressed, not ignored. It is so easy to make a busy life the priority over a partnership because so many people take their relationship for granted. Never get too comfortable that you think you can relax & neglect cherishing your partner.

It is usually a two way street when infidelity enters a partnership. The importance of staying connected emotionally & physically is so important on a daily basis. Each person needs to feel loved & safe in their commitment. When this scenario becomes unbalanced & left undiscussed is when the bond is weakened as insecurities enter the relationship & trust becomes an issue. Talking regularly & sharing conversations about “everything” will help strengthen the partnership. Sexually activity keeps the love alive like nothing else & should not be ignored. Never be too preoccupied to show love to your partner. Complements & affection is the building blocks to relationship longevity. Never be too busy to throw another log of the fire to keep the passion lit ~ your partner should always be #1.

Susan McCord @