Dear Sybersue is an Informative and very REAL dating relationship coach and advice columnist for men & women!
In today’s blog post and video I answer Sherry’s question:
My Ex and I are living together for the sake of the kids. How do we make this work? We don’t have the money to live separately right now as I am not working. Our kids are still little and my Ex and I decided before we had children that I would stay home with them.
How can I live with him and not go crazy at the same time? We having been cohabitating this way for a year now!
How do I have a fulfilling life while I am still with him?
I am so ready to move on from our marriage but this living together scenario is cramping any chance I have of doing that! The kids don’t know a lot about what’s going on and we just go through the day trying not to argue with each other. We just don’t get along and seeing him every day just makes me resent him even more.
How do I deal with this and keep myself in a positive space?
This “type of living arrangement” is way more common than you might think. With rent and housing increases creeping uncontrollably into our financial resources, it is causing a big problem with many people today!
Singles are now forced to take on a roommate or a home stay student just so they can eat and clothe themselves. Throw a few kids into the mix and it is borderline poverty for many single parents.
The priority for you right now Sherry is to get back out in the work field so you are not reliant on your Ex.
Maybe try something part time while you figure out daycare and adjust to working again. I am not sure what expertise you have but maybe you could start a home business of some sort so you could still be with the kids most of the time.
Talk to some other single moms who may be in the same boat and maybe you can collaborate on some business ideas or at least take turns with babysitting to cut daycare costs down. It would also do you good to get out and be around some adults once in awhile so you are not only dealing with your ex and the children.
You need some outside stimulation to keep your hope and motivation alive. The kids will pick up on your growing resentment towards your ex husband which isn’t healthy for them. You can only fake things for so long!
Have a mature talk with your Ex and figure out a future plan that works for both of you. One of you has to move out!
Take turns having nights out away from each other and the children. Do not fight in front of the kids or talk negatively about each other either. They love both of you even if you have called it quits on loving each other as a couple.
Give yourself a “time line” so it forces you to keep focused on improving your new life ahead and starting over with a fresh attitude. When you can actually visualize the rainbow, the pot of gold will follow.
Don’t give up on your personal happiness and keep taking small steps to change up your scenario. It won’t happen overnight but having weekly goals will definitely bring you closer to moving on to a better place.
Wishing you well and please keep me posted on what you decide to do. <3
Dear Sybersue <3
I Love to hear from you! Has this happened to you and how did you deal with this scenario? Please watch the video above and leave your comments below!