My Boyfriend is Pulling Away From me – Should we Take a Break?

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Hi Susan,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years (21 and 22). Recently he’s been bogged down with school/work issued and some stress and anxiety health problems. I’ve stuck with him through it all, I love him completely, but he doesn’t show me his love or his appreciation to me, which he admits to voluntarily.

I was thinking of asking for a break more so that I can see if he even wants to be with ME. Every woman wants a man to fight for her, and that’s what I want. I want to see if he’ll realize how much he needs me and fight to have me back. If not I will reluctantly move on and find someone to appreciate me.

Any advice on these plans?

Hi Liz,

Unfortunately it sounds like he has pulled back from your relationship and it has become very one sided. In some ways you are already on a break because he is not really there for you the way he should be. The fact that you have been there for him through all his struggles and he is not showing you anything in return, you have to ask yourself what YOU are getting out of this 4 year relationship right now.

Are you holding on to “what was” and not being totally realistic that his feelings may have changed? How long have you felt this way for?  If you have talked to him repeatedly about this; shared your feelings/concerns with him and nothing has changed, then taking a break will only prolong the inevitable. He is actually admitting that he is not showing you the love you want in your relationship. This is a big sign that you should probably move on completely from this relationship.

You are both very young and many things change in your 20’s. It is a time for growth and sometimes as a couple you grow in different directions. Ask him to be really honest about his feelings towards you and what he wants for his future. Listen closely to what he says. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the truth and we stay in a loveless relationship because we think they will change over time. Don’t sell yourself short by waiting around for someone who is not there for you. It’s not all about “them.”

Sybersue <3

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