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Is Your Online Dating Profile Attracting the Wrong People?

Today’s Topic on Dear Sybersue: Is Your Online Dating Profile Attracting the Wrong People?

This is a great conversation to have because this is happening with many people who are using dating apps or any other online dating platform today. When you continue to attract the same type of people that aren’t working out for you, there is something within your profile text or your photos that is encouraging this repetitive pattern.

Pictures are worth 1000 words, so choose wisely when you are uploading photos onto your online dating profile. They can often send out the wrong message and keep you from bringing the right people towards you.

If you are looking for a serious partnership, do not post anything that is of a sexual nature. Classy photos will help keep the “hookup suitors” further away. There is a big difference between being too sexy and showing some class. Half naked photos of yourself will not bring you the partner you are looking for, but they will bring you the one-night stand that you’re not interested in having.

The text in your profile also needs to be altered if you are attracting all the wrong people.

Many people online talk about what they “don’t want” in a relationship, which can be a big turnoff! Your checklist can come off as high maintenance or very pretentious. Your dating profile is also not a resume, and it should show who you are in an authentic way. Write about what makes you laugh and what makes you happy. Show your playful side and keep it short and sweet.

Leave them wanting to know more about you. Giving out too much information is not only dangerous, but it is also way over the top on a dating profile. Most people are attracted to witty and fun profiles. Think about what you would be attracted to. What things make you take notice? Life is much more serious these days, and if you can make someone laugh before they even meet you, there is a good chance that they will be excited to continue getting to know you.

Ask someone to help you with the text in your profile.

When you are looking to change things up with your dating technique, It is always a great idea to get a second opinion from a close friend or a dating coach if possible. We don’t always see ourselves the same way others perceive us, so it is very helpful when you hear what others have to say about you in a positive light. They can at least offer you some insight into what vibe you may be relaying within the body of your text.

When you are talking with someone interesting, don’t get into a texting rut for months on end!

If you have been having a great connection with someone you met online, set up a coffee date early on. There are plenty of catfishers out there in Cyberland who scam people with flirty texts, luring you into their deceitful web. They are well versed in being seductive and very complimentary. They are breadcrumbers who know how to throw out just the right bait to keep you close and interested without having any desire to be in a committed partnership!

It is so important to be able to look someone in the eye and pay close attention to what they say, to watch their actions, and observe their body language. Not to be a Debbie Downer here, but you can’t trust everyone you meet, and it is imperative that you are smart and safe with whom you let into your life. Sadly, not everyone is there for the right reasons but, there are usually some red flags when you don’t let sexual lust blind your common sense.

If they continually shrug off meeting you in person, this is a huge red flag!

If the person you are chatting and texting with does not want to meet you in person or even face time, I would advise you to move on quickly. Repetitive texting sets up a false sense of security and is a commonly used tactic with online scamming. They have had a lot of practice perfecting their craft, so it can come across as very sincere.

This is why long-distance dating can be a big problem because you are not seeing them often or sometimes not at all!. I have a few clients who got caught up in this type of relationship and never ever met the person the entire time they were texting! Please don’t allow yourself to be gullible by someone who is just playing a game with you.

The trick to stop attracting the wrong people is to move on quickly when your instincts pick upon any warning signs!

You know in your gut when you are talking to someone who isn’t being genuine. Don’t ignore this feeling. Look back at the type of people you have been dating. What are the similarities? Is there a specific trait that keeps luring you back to the wrong people?

  • Are you choosing emotionally unavailable people?
  • Do you find yourself only attracted to the badboy/badgirl?
  • Are you sure you are ready to be in a relationship?
  • Do you choose people that remind you of a past partner?
  • Are looks your number 1 priority when you are dating someone?
  • Do you jump into bed with someone very quickly?

When you keep repeating things in your life that aren’t working out for you, there is usually an underlying or subconscious issue that needs to be addressed. It could be possible that you are actually sabotaging your own happiness due to fear of commitment. This could be embedded in your mindset from your childhood or from a tough breakup that you endured. What ever the reason, your future happiness is at stake if you don’t alter this pattern.

Take a break from dating for a few months and when you do go back, be open to meeting people outside your usual type. Take more time when reading people’s profiles and really check out the photos. What are they relaying to you?

Be more assertive and contact the people you are attracted to rather than wait for them to contact you. Go for what you want if someone intrigues you. You are worthy of meeting someone special to share your life with, so make time to change up what isn’t working. You came to this post for a reason, so that tells me you are ready to do the work. Please watch the video above for more on this conversation.

Thank you for visiting Dear Sybersue today!

Sybersue xo <3

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