When dealing with an angry customer or client in many job environments, most of us instantly get our backs up. Having a finger pointed in your face, automatically brings out a defensive response. It makes people feel disrespected and belittled. Letting clients or customers rant and have their say, is what most people really want. They need validity that their point is being heard & by reacting as negatively as they are, will just add fuel to the fire. Feeling their pain for a moment will alleviate further anger and hearing them out is usually a calming behavior modifier. It works well in relationships too!Behavior patterns are quite interesting in all realms of life. A child emulates their parents or siblings. Spouses who have been married for a long time start to act and sound alike. Animals respond to negative & positive feedback whether it due to an affectionate tummy rub or a scolding. (Most people yawn when someone near them yawns & the same thing happens when someone smiles at them.) It is contagious or a mirrored behavior.
Life is so much easier if you react to negativity with opposition. It throws a curve ball that the other person isn’t expecting and defuses the escalation of an angry reaction if handled properly. If you sound patronizing it will heighten their aggression even more & be mindful of your body language when meeting new people ~ especially out on that first date or job interview!
Always remember first impressions “make or break” a second date.
Behavior can also be used as a manipulative tool which happens in many abusive relationships. If you know someone’s personality and what buttons to push for your benefit, you are using their behavioral actions. This is how con artists pounce on their prey by easily reading these behavioral vulnerabilities. Cult leaders have learned the way to manipulate through behavioral brainwashing. Their followers look at it as mentoring! The schoolyard bully always has a group of disciples as they are too young to know the right way to use their own judgment. They want to be accepted no matter what and are looking for direction in any form. These kids lack self esteem and need guidance to remove them from future negativity.
When entering into a stressful group situation whether it is a family scenario or work related issue “ the leader or person in charge,” needs to be calm and rational to get a similar responsive reaction out of the other people in the room. Pats on the back & words of encouragement are positive rewards & great tools for keeping productivity on a drama free path in many situations. Using intimidation tactics in business or personal scenarios will never improve the environment but praise always will.
Learning how to read people quickly will help you put in less time with negative friendships or relationships. In the dating world today many men & women say they don’t know what either sex wants anymore. Everyone is confused. By learning to read their partner or dates body language & behavior patterns they will start to understand who they really are.
Try not to talk or think in a negative tone and believe your positive actions will rectify a situation. Use your skills to massage the best out of people. It is contagious when sincerity is put forth. People hunger for positive re-enforcement; they don’t want to be pessimistic.
Life is a continual learning process but the more we open up and try to make a difference in our own lives & others, we are continually rewarded with love & amazing friendships. One person can make a difference in someone’s life, why can’t it be you?
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
