How Do I Know if I am Ready to Date Again After a Painful Breakup?
Many people think they are ready to get back out into the dating world after a breakup, but they are often not emotionally equipped to do so. When your heart has been ripped apart, it doesn’t heal overnight, and it can take a year or longer to feel somewhat normal again, especially if you were in a long-term relationship and were blindsided by your partner.
If it was a mutual ending, that will help you to move on faster because you were both on the same page with how you felt within the partnership. Although, there will still be some leftover residue to contend with when you truly loved someone. Just because you both checked out of your partnership doesn’t mean there aren’t some wonderful memories that tug at your heart.
It may sound like a great idea to get back out and date again right away or at least have a few intimate moments with someone new, but that can mess you up even more when you’re still dealing with the painful aftermath of a breakup. Sleeping with someone you don’t love is no competition for what you had with your ex. This can be a big mistake when you jump into bed too quickly and can set you back even further.
What can you do to stop feeling stuck in this place of lonely sadness?
Many people hold on to the good things from their relationship and ignore the problem areas. This is especially true for women due to their nurturing and romantic nature. While it is a wonderful quality to think positively about a past relationship, you always need to be realistic about what actually transpired between you and your partner. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss you feel, but try not to be in denial about what caused your breakup.
How someone treats you on a regular basis is their true character. Look at the whole picture and make an honest list of the pros and cons of your relationship. Write down things as you think about them, and keep adding them as the memories surface. If you are having trouble trying to understand what the issues were in your relationship, ask your friends or family to be objective as to what they noticed.
We don’t always see things clearly when we are in the midst of certain scenarios, and sometimes it takes being apart for a while before we acknowledge them fully.
Concentrate on self-love for the first few months. You should learn to feel whole without having to be in a relationship. You are the number 1 priority at this stage and your healing is of the utmost importance. Your self-worth needs to be attended to so that it remains in a healthy place.
Staying active and getting out of the house helps immensely to lessen the pain. Remove constant reminders out of your vision and allow yourself a short amount of time each day to think about your ex for the first few months. It’s OK to cry, but the less time you give energy to talking or thinking about your ex, the faster you will get to feeling better every day.
What are the signs that you are ready to date again and that your heart is healing?
- The anger has dissipated.
- The tears are gone, and you’re not missing them with sadness any longer.
- You now understand why you’re not together anymore. You have clarity as to why they were not your person.
- You have learned some new lessons about your part in the relationship and own them.
- You acknowledge why you were attracted to your ex, but what was also missing between you as a couple.
- Spending time alone was therapeutic, and you enjoyed being independent again.
- There is an understanding of what is important to take with you from this experience so that you can be in a healthy and loving relationship moving forward.
Breakups happen to teach us all something. Life lessons are a valuable teaching tool, even when there is some difficult healing involved. Listening to your instincts and acknowledging the growing pains that we all go through, will bring you closer to what you desire. When you understand what you truly deserve in a partner, you are ready to go back out dating again.
*Please watch the video to see more on today’s topic and leave your comments below! What did you do to get over a painful breakup? What lessons did you learn?
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