Some men and women are complaining about the obvious checklists people have when they are out on a date.  

They feel that it is much more like an interview than a casual encounter!  This is a huge turnoff and comes across as clinical. Men say that women have a longer list. It is much more specific than a man’s. Yet, they still don’t know what they really want at the end of the day.

Women feel that a man’s checklist resembles something like this:

Must like sex 7 days a week.
Have a nice body.
Must like watching sports and be OK with his regular boy’s night out!
Be willing to try new things, regardless of what it is.
She must be a good cook and love being in the kitchen.

Why Do Women Seem to Have More On Their Dating Checklists?

Women tend to be less trusting than men on the first few dates. They want to know everything they can about a possible life partner; they want to cover all their options. Unfortunately, some women don’t realize how this comes across. Men feel like they are on trial with this obvious checklist put in front of them.

While it is important to ask questions and open the communication lines, both sexes need to slow down. They should enjoy the moment and not interrogate each other. Many guys also have these checklists, and it makes the first few dates very awkward. First impressions are crucial. Why would you want someone to think you are bringing out your rule book questionnaire? Checking off the boxes with each tedious question does not create a good atmosphere.

Online dating now has this quick elimination process. Both sexes almost look for flaws. They sabotage any first meeting at all.  People quickly read dating profiles with harsh judgment. If one thing isn’t exactly what they are looking for, they move on to the next person.  This is one of the reasons so many people are lonely today! They don’t give anyone a chance. If they do make it to the first date, it is often quickly decided that their date doesn’t meet all the checklist requirements.  Who have we become? Are we looking for a clone of ourselves? How boring would that be!

One of my YouTube subscribers feels that everyone should go on a minimum of two dates with each person.  He feels that if you have a great verbal connection, there is something worth exploring.  He gets really frustrated with the high-maintenance checklist that many women seem to have.  Are we being too picky due to the fact that there is always another person waiting on our dating site? Do we always think we can do better with the next one?

There are no coincidences. Each person we come in contact with is there for a purpose. If that is the case, why don’t we acknowledge each encounter as a life lesson?  Regardless of how small the message is, there will always be something to learn from it.  

People are so quick to judge and make assumptions without giving others a second look. Someone might have personal issues from earlier that day. They could have received bad news before the date and may not be themselves. They could be new at dating and shy about the whole process. Everyone has something to offer and there is someone for everyone. We need to slow down & pay attention to a persons attributes and not spending our time looking for their flaws.

What Should Our Checklist Priorities Look Like?

1. Character. Kind, loving, thoughtful, and loyal.
2. Compatibility. You have common interests, enjoy the same sports, want to travel or are happy to stay home.
3. Attraction. Mental, physical & sexual attraction is important.
4. Communication. Can you talk openly to each other? Are you emotionally connected?
5. Personality. Do they make you laugh, make you a priority, make you think, and add to your life?
6. Career. You mutually respect and encourage each other’s goals and aspirations.
7. Parenting. You are both equally on board with either wanting children, any stepchildren, or not having children.
8. Religious beliefs. This is a big problem in some relationships.
9. Location & Living Arrangements. Is it important where you live? Close to Family or loved ones?

Of course, this list is generalized, and each person should categorize their checklist according to what works best for them. Children or religion may be higher on your list. Prioritizing money or looks on the first line may get you the odd date. However, it is ultimately a shallow approach to long-term happiness.

Be realistic when preparing your checklist, whether it is mentally accumulated or in written form. Look in the mirror and really see yourself for who you are. Consider how you want others to see you as well.  No one is perfect & we have to start giving others a chance without negative judgment.  As I said earlier, there is a reason they are in your life. No matter how brief the moment, embrace it.

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/c/susanmccord