Dear Sybersue ~ Why do I Allow Myself to be a Pushover in a Relationship?

Dear Sybersue,

Thanks for posting  your informative videos but this one really caught my attention. I do allow myself to be put on hold! I am aware that clarifying and validating this allows one to move on more easily from a bad relationship but it seems to be easier said than done in my case.  I’m a real pushover with men I am dating or in a relationship with.  I acknowledge the manipulation, whether its being constantly strung along or any other repetitive issues but I still buy into the excuses and their rationales.

How does one raise the standard of their own self worth above the what you “want to hear excuses” because I am responsible for allowing myself to sit on the back burner…it really stinks when you “settle for less” than what you deserve.

Thank you, Cheryl

Hi Cheryl,

The fact that you acknowledged you allow yourself to “sit on the back burner” is half the way there to changing this scenario. Many people are in complete denial that they are always #2 in a relationship. You are owning it and see that there is an ongoing issue that needs to be addressed.

Self esteem problems from your past could play a part in these decisions so you may want to go to the root of the problem and talk to someone professional about this. Quite often it is due to some form of abandonment, or an early rejection that  hurt you deeply. Putting yourself in the company of other strong women may help you to understand how to respect your boundaries by watching their actions. There are also many support groups that help people deal with self esteem & relationship issues. These are great platforms because they help you see you things without being judged.

It is never too late to learn something new about ourselves. It is a growth in progress every year of our lives. Wishing you much happiness & great love always. Thank you for writing.

Sybersue <3

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