Dear Sybersue,
My wonderful girlfriend and I have been together for an amazing 8 months and have known each other for 4 years. I am 20, she is 18. Our relationship was beyond unbreakable. About 8 weeks ago we find out she is pregnant and we both were very excited at first. This wasn’t planned but we have faith and we’re definitely ready for that responsibility.
Saying that, we were dealing with everything really well up till about a week ago. She wants nothing to do with me now, she tells me she loves me but she needs space! It was all so random, and we went from spending everyday together for hours, to not seeing one another at all because she need space. I love her more than anything and I want to make her feel loved & let her know I am here, but she won’t see me or communicate with me. I am very worried. What should I do?
Thank you, Jesse
<3
Hi Jesse,
I am so sorry to hear this and I know how heartbreaking this must be for you. The fact that you are both so young makes this pregnancy even harder because of the pressure it puts on you as a couple to make hard life decisions so early in your lives. Emotions fly high when a woman is pregnant and she is probably freaking out about where her life is going right now. 8 months is really not a very long time to decide whether you want to be in a committed relationship. Now you have the added pressure of a baby to deal with rather than just enjoying each other without having to make forced or hasty decisions.
You are a standup guy who is ready to be there for your girlfriend when many young men would have run the other way. She may be getting feedback from her family that could have an impact on her choices right now. I think it is wonderful that you are giving her space at the moment but also letting her know you are there for her. This is something that could help her in the long run because she will always know you didn’t bail on her.
Don’t pressure her as hard as it is for you, but every so often ask her is there is anything you can do for her and tell her you care and want to help her during her pregnancy. Her life has altered so much and she is trying to figure out what her future holds now. Everything has changed. Be selective when you do contact her and don’t pressure her about anything right now. I am not sure what support system she has with her friends or her family but she will need lots of it when the baby arrives!
Hang in there and be patient about her need for alone time at the moment. Hopefully she will come around a little more in the next few months once the initial shock wears off. Please let me know how you are doing and keep me up to date. Thanks for taking the time to write.
<3 xo Sybersue
