Dating Advice for Men: Bring Courtship Back ~The Do’s & Don’ts of First Dates


Bruce & Susan BBQIs courtship & romance a thing of the past?

Are we spending too much time texting or emailing, asking all those questions we are too shy to ask in a face to face scenario?

Are we being too judgmental too quickly before even meeting them & maybe eliminating a prospective partner? There is talk that the women in Vancouver are too picky but men seem to have their checklists too.

We need to go back to the dating basics and bring some creativity into the mix. The first few dates are important and are the building blocks of future dates!

Here are 10 things “NOT” to do on those first few dates:

  1. Before you decide to take them extreme rock climbing, assess their athletic ability.
  2. Don’t make it a competition by showing all your sporting attributes even at a foosball table in a bar.
  3. Surprising her with a sky diving date might not get you the “air mile rewards” you’re hoping for.
  4. Take off your lab coat & leave the questionnaire at home. Do not ask her why she is single!
  5. Try to leave the fear factor dates behind. Taking her on a suspension bridge & then shaking the sides to see how she reacts is not funny.
  6. Don’t take her to an overpriced restaurant & expect her to pay half.
  7. Putting her name in for 5 songs at a karaoke lounge knowing that singing is her insecurity, will not get you laid.
  8. Telling her you haven’t had sex in 5 years is not a great opening line!
  9. Asking her what contraceptive she is taking is a question for later ~ be responsible and always carry a condom.
  10. Never talk about your EX, other women you have dated or ask her how many men she has slept with!

Things to do on the 1st date that will help you to get a Second Date:

  1. Follow up & confirm the date by a phone call (not a text) and let her know the type of date you are planning so she can dress accordingly.
  2. Take her somewhere that you can have a conversation & get to know each other. While movies are great entertainment, you can’t talk in the theater. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on your first date but if you asked her out, it is nice that you offer to pay. Lunch is always a nice compromise and usually a low bar bill!
  3. Offer to pick her up and always be on time. Get out & ring the doorbell and open the car door for her. Gentlemen qualities are always appreciated regardless of some overly zealous women libbers.
  4. Make sure the conversation is reciprocated on the date. Being too nosey, secretive or narcissistic will not get you a second date.
  5. Be attentive when she is talking & really listen to what she is saying. Keep your focus on her eyes so your mind doesn’t wander thinking about her other body parts.
  6. Make her feel comfortable using humor whenever possible. (Sarcasm however, has no place on a date and is seldom funny.) Show her your fun personality so she wants to see you again! Serious dates are boring dates.
  7. Nice guys do not finish last unless you are a doormat. Women like a little edge but only high maintenance women really want a BAD boy long term. Be kind but not predictable.
  8. Dress sexy, wear subtle cologne, keep your smile white, & always use deodorant. Odor of any kind is not pleasant. Many women will complain about this to their friends but never tell you why they didn’t go out with you again. Be aware of how you come across to others.
  9. A kiss goodnight is totally acceptable if there was a mutual attraction. Curtail your sexual desires on the first date regardless of how much you want them as you really don’t know them yet. Once women have sex with a man, many of them have different expectations afterwards. Hold back until you know if you want something more than a few dates with them.
  10. Always call the next day after a date & tell them how much you enjoyed it. Secure men don’t have to play the game of waiting for 3 or 4 days and they will phone over texting. If you don’t want to see her again, thank them for the date but don’t tell them you will call.

The most important thing today in this messed up non-communicative dating world is not to give in to it. Stand out and be different so that women take notice of you. Playing the “bad boy” may work for a short time, but it only brings you the wrong type of women in the end.

Courting a woman may sound old school to many of you reading this, but trust me it works! A confident & attentive man is the most desired type of man to women everywhere. Saying hello, smiling at women you pass by on the street and being less judgmental, will get you a lot more dates than always complaining about how hard it is to date in Vancouver. A little effort really does go a long way.

Susan McCord @


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