Canadian Talk Show Host Susan McCord also known as Dear Sybersue discusses how important it is to many a great first impression when you are out on a date. You only have that one time to get it right so be careful how you come across. Watch Sybersue’s video above and read the blog below to see how to get that second date and what to be aware of.
It is one thing to be single today but if you don’t know the Basic Dating Etiquette, it can leave you single for a lot longer!
The most important thing to remember in this post is that you are a good person & and are worthy of a loving relationship. Your self esteem & body language need to show this in order for you to meet someone with the same rapport. There is someone for everyone & each person is special and beautiful in their own way. (Thank God for some men who like quirky redheads!! Yay!
~Confidence is a beauty all in itself~
What are the first things to keep in mind on a first date?
• Have a small “silent” checklist prioritized as a boundary guideline; do not discuss this out loud.
• Don’t go on a date with your clipboard questionnaire. Too many questions feel like a Barbara Walters interview!
• Be polite & fun! “First Impressions are a make or break future date.”
• Make an effort with your appearance. Rolling off the couch with bed head and yoga pants is not enough ~ contrary to popular dating attire discussions!
• Scent is important; be mindful of too much cologne, body odor, nose hair cling-ons etc. (Seriously people this will not get you laid!)
• Both sexes should dress respectfully & age appropriate. That goes for the Mr T. Big Ass Jewelry Starter Kit with unbuttoned shirt to hairy navel and the Cougar Camel-Toe Leopard Pants & super enhanced push up bra with cleavage that could crack coconuts…unless of course “you two” want to meet each other?
• If you want to be respected be respectful to them.
• Stay off your phone unless you have told them you’re expecting a REALLY important call. (Like from your brain surgeon!)
• Give them your full attention ~ (don’t use the mirrors to check out others in the room. Yes I had to say this!)
• Do not discuss past relationships ever on the first date! He doesn’t want to know your Ex could hold his own sausage fest he’s so well endowed or that his Ex was a playboy centerfold 4 years in a row!
• Don’t discuss sex too early unless that is all you are looking for ~ then Hell, go for it!
• Ensure you are comfortable with where you are going on your date. Just in case they have Ted Bundy serial killer good looks, you might want to take your own car for a precaution. Safety first people!
• When choosing a restaurant to take your date, find out if they have allergies or can’t eat certain foods for other reasons. You don’t want to spend your date night in the hospital because they went into Anaphylactic Shock!
• Let them know if it is a casual or dressy setting so they know what to wear. Remember not take them on a fear factor dating excursion! (No sky diving, rock climbing or cycling 50 km up a mountain.)
• Using light-hearted humor is a great ice breaker but leave the sarcasm for your buddies.
• If you are picking up your date, knock at their door rather than texting or honking the National Anthem that you are out front. Always see your date to their car or front door at the end of the date.
• Sleeping with them on the first few dates is not recommended! Too many expectations and confusion will come into play if you do this. Remember the bunny boiler psycho in the movie “Fatal Attraction!”
- Be careful how much information you give out too early; your date does not need to know every sorted detail about who you are. Be yourself but hold back on these private outbursts until you have something established with them.
- No one needs to know that you have had hair restoration, your breasts enhanced, you haven’t had sex in 5 years or that your dad is in jail for armed robbery! You don’t even know if there is a mutual connection yet so why would you want to discuss all your dirty laundry or insecurities on the first few dates? Wouldn’t it make more sense to show them your best traits first? Why sabotage any chance of seeing them again by telling them all these scary reasons not to be interested in you? Everyone has flaws or a few skeletons in the closet but the first few dates should be fun and not filled with dramatic conversation! Shhhh…
- If you ask someone out for dinner be prepared to pay regardless of what gender you are. In this day and age it is acceptable and appreciated for a woman to ask a man out. You don’t have to go to the most expensive restaurant in town so don’t feel obligated to empty your wallet every time you date. There are many great date night establishments that don’t break the bank.
- If you are invited to someone’s home for a meal never go empty handed; a bottle of wine or a dessert is always appreciated and expected! (It’s not cheap to impress someone with your TV Chef cooking skills these days!) Always be on time but if you have to be late, call in plenty of time beforehand so they are not sitting on the couch dressed and ready to go. Calling them when you are already supposed to have been at the front door is terrible etiquette. They could have done something else for an hour! Again…this won’t get you laid.
5. Respect their time as it is just as valuable as your time!
What should you do at the end of the date?
• If you felt a reciprocated connection, give them a hug or a kiss goodnight. (Kissing is huge and can tell you a lot about your connection with them! Find out sooner than later I always say.)
• Tell them you would love to see them again. (Don`t wait for the three day rule to call.) You will stand out a lot more if you don’t play the obvious “Dating Game BS” scenarios.
• Follow up your date with a thank you call, text or E-mail.
• Do not say you will call when you have no intention of doing so! It won’t help your dating reputation either because people talk and they will slam you.
• Honesty with diplomacy is always the best approach if you do not feel a connection on the date. Be kind and careful with your choice of words but don’t lead them on if there is no chemistry between you both.
• Don’t go home angry or disappointed if things didn’t work out on your date. Every dating experience is something that you can learn from; enjoy them for what they give you at the time because there will always a reason you met them, regardless of how many dates you had together.
• Don’t get too eager and look at every great date as a potential spouse. (Picking out china patterns or introducing them to your parents too early will only end in disappointment because they will RUN!)
• If you want to see them again but have a very busy schedule for the next few weeks, be honest and tell them. Ask them if you can book a day on your calendars ahead of time. Most people will be happy knowing that there will be a second date and that you are thinking ahead to plan something with them.
• Never call last minute expecting them to drop everything for that second date.
- Be careful not to be too aggressive with texting and calls after the first date. You don’t want to come across desperate or needy. Ladies; I have had a few emails from men telling me how turned off they were with women who bombarded them with numerous texts after only 1 date. Too much of anything can be annoying so wait until you are in an established relationship before you do this. Leave a little mystery!
Both sexes should relax and let things unfold naturally. If it is meant to be everything will work out without having to be pushy. With an open mind (even when a date goes wrong) it can make you see more clearly what you really “want” down the road. Everyone who comes into your life teaches you something in one way or another; don’t look at it as a waste of time. You might not see what purpose they had in your life right away, but you will understand why later. (It could be about you teaching them something, which is always good karma.)
Regardless of what transpires, go out and enjoy your single life in the dating world ~ There is so much to explore and some great people to meet. Experience is everything & one of life’s beautiful lessons. At the very least you may develop some great friendships down the road or learn something very valuable that changes your life forever. By visualizing a healthy relationship, believing and having a positive attitude, you will never be alone. People will always gravitate towards your energy.
<3 Remember; you are never too old to date or to find love in your life. <3