Keeping Things Equal In A Relationship

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Plenty of people have trouble keeping things equal in their relationship from level of control to decision-making. Often, the partner that is naturally more powerful begins to take over all the decisions and consciously or subconsciously starts to exert control.

This is never going to be a healthy situation and it can lead to one person in the relationship feeling completely helpless and pushed down. That doesn’t always mean that there are issues like abuse or manipulation but even the scales shifting slightly in one direction can lead to trouble. So, how do you keep things equal?

Encourage Give And Take

People in relationships should take turns from choosing where to go on holiday to choosing what to watch on TV.  This is a healthy reciprocation, where each partner is happy to give and take so that both can get what they need.

Making these decisions together isn’t always possible if you are opposites. This means that what you want to do one evening might be nothing like what your partner wants to do. The best way to fix this is with a schedule of some sort.

Relationships tend to break down when one partner begins to make all the decisions. Suddenly one of the partners will feel as though they are not living their own life but rather a role in someone else’s story.

Sharing Choices

Of course in most cases, it will be possible to make decisions together as a couple and this can begin the start of a healthy relationship. For instance, you might decide what restaurant to eat at on your first date together or discuss what activity to do on your second date, rather than one person setting up the night for the other.

Later on as the relationship progresses, it could be present in the choice of an engagement ring. You might decide to choose it together, despite traditionally this being a gift from the person proposing.

According to, there are great options if you do decide you want to choose the engagement ring together. This sharing of power keeps things equal even in a situation where it is predominantly one person’s decision.

If you find that you aren’t naturally finding yourself in scenarios where you can share choices, it suggests one person has more control over the other. This will lead to animosity and the person being controlled will begin to pull away eventually  exploring and alternate partnership.

Discussions Are a Big Positive

You might think that if you find yourself constantly disagreeing with your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. But that’s not true because as we’ve already mentioned, opposites tend to go together. You can read more about choosing a partner on

The true defining point of the relationship is seeing how productive these discussions are. If they often evolve into fully heated screaming matches, obviously there’s an issue. By debating points of view and then accepting differences in opinion is a sign that things are in a healthy place.

Don’t avoid talking about sensitive topics. This is just going to cover up a potential or ongoing issue. Eventually you’ll find that by avoiding these topics you will reach a boiling point and a serious argument will erupt seemingly from nowhere. Naturally this is due to the fact that all the little issues that aren’t being discussed are bubbling underneath the service.

Small Gestures Matter

As people say, “the devil is in the little details” and it’s the small gestures that matter most when it comes down to having a great partnership. This could be anything from helping bring in the shopping to doing the washing up together, rather than leaving it to one person. Little gestures like this are the foundation of a strong relationship where each partner feels equal to the other.

If one partner is constantly putting in all the effort, the relationship isn’t healthy. They might feel lonely and begin to look to other people to provide the level of comfort and support that their partner should provide.

We hope this helps shed some light on how to keep things equal in a relationship and why not doing so could ultimately lead to your partnership breaking apart.

Man and Woman Boat Rowing in Sea during Golden Hour

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Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

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