I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

I Married a Mountain Man but I’m a City Girl!

Dear Sybersue does something a little out of the box today and talks about her own relationship.

How do you make a partnership work when you both enjoy different activities? When one of you is more extroverted than the other? Opposites attract but seldom stay together; so… can you compromise as a couple?

To maintain happiness in any relationship both people in the partnership need to make a continual effort and make each other a priority. That doesn’t mean you are together 24/7 or that you put your passions on the back burner; it means that your communication with them is reciprocated and respected.

You find a healthy way to be there for each other & make time for your own needs as well.

When we give up too much of ourselves while in a committed relationship that is the beginning of a downward spiral for many couples. Resentment then starts to play a big part in your everyday existence. This is one of the main reasons some people are opposed to being in a long term commitment! They feel trapped but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You don’t have to become another breakup statistic if you are really paying attention & listening to your partner. Do you really want to live with someone exactly like you??? Wouldn’t that be boring?

You obviously don’t want to be at complete opposite ends of the spectrum but having a few interests that differ from your partner is a good thing. It’s healthy and gives you a freedom that many people lose when they become a couple.

When you grow together & keep trying new things, the diversity will be the key to a long & happy union. Embrace the differences that you both bring to the relationship! Who knows, you may try something new and actually enjoy it!

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
Dear Sybersue Blogs & Advice Column
Dear Sybersue Talk Show

I Keep Running into My Ex Boyfriend! How Can I Avoid Him?

I Keep Running into My Ex Boyfriend! How Can I Avoid Him?

Dear Sybersue answers a viewers question about how to avoid running into her Ex boyfriend on a regular basis!

She is really trying to move on from him but seeing him so often makes it very difficult not think about him. There are always some good memories even in a bad relationship which can nag at our hearts even when we know it is not a healthy partnership.

Removing yourself from the environment that you and your Ex shared is a must if you want to get over them. You will have to make a lot of changes for the first 6 months, which may include your mutual friendships and hangout locations.

Breakups go through a grieving period that can consume every part of your being and it is much harder when you have continual reminders of your time together.

Now you need to to build a place for you to feel safe and pave the way to finding a new love down the road. The more time we spend hanging onto the wrong people in our lives, the longer it takes to find that amazing partner that we all deserve.

There are always lessons but that is a good thing.<3

What have you done to move on from your Ex and avoid contact with them? Please leave your comments below.

Susan McCord @ facebook/dearsybersue
The Dear Sybersue Relationship Talk Show

 

Relationship Advice: What Does “Taking a Break” Really Mean?

This topic is timeless and a never ending discussion with men & women in relationships.

Dear Sybersue: Dating Relationship Blog & Talk Show

Seriously, what does “We are taking a break in our relationship” really mean?

This video from 5 years ago is still a very popular topic today! I wanted to re-post due to all the ongoing comments about this video on my YouTube channel. I am not usually as opinionated on my show but this conversation always gets me going! 

So many people are into taking a break in their relationship today! How do they get away with their partners being OK with it?  Isn’t this the same as having your cake & eating it too?  The best of both worlds?

Isn’t this is just a cowards way of eventually ending a relationship because they don’t want to be alone right away & they can keep their options open? Both sexes initiate this scenario today, especially in the millennial crowd.

Wouldn’t it be better to stay single & date rather than…

View original post 595 more words

Advice: Don’t Ignore The Red Flags on the First Few Dates

“Be aware of the red flags & maintain some boundaries when you are dating!”

Famous last words right??

It is not easy today in the world of relationships, dating and rarely meeting someone in a face to face scenario. Everyone is behind their technology screens and hoping & praying that they find someone they can eventually fall in love with.

Unfortunately men & women are frustrated and some people are becoming desperate enough to let some of their core values fall to the basement of their priorities! This is not a good thing and even if it gets them a few months in a relationship, they are not being true to themselves and short changing their future happiness.

Being too picky is not a good thing but overlooking key principals that are important to you are just as bad if you want a relationship of substance.

Finding love is definitely a lot of work, but well worth the investment when it happens. Don’t settle just because you are lonely, or feeling pressure from your friends, family or your age. It’s your life, nobody elses and you can take all the time in the world to get it right.

There is no time clock unless you allow one to be there.

Many people think that they are taking the easy road by accepting only a small piece of what they want in a partner. Sadly it becomes a burden because everyday you see the sacrifice you made.

The red flags are waving in your face to get your attention and if you choose to ignore them and be OK in a fictitious relationship, you will always been yearning for what could have been.

No one is perfect and no one is telling you to look for perfection so don’t overlook the qualities that are important to you.

We all have different morals & standards but our character should never be compromised to the point in where we lose a big part of ourselves just to be with someone else.

They should be an extension of who we are; not the other way around.

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Relationship Talk Show   Dear Sybersue Facebook

 

Why Do Women Play so Many Games? How Do I know if She is Into Me?

Why Do Women Play so Many Games? How Do I know if She is Into Me?

Dear Sybersue answers a popular question from men on her advice column!

They want to know why women are not authentic with their feelings and play so many pretentious games on the first few dates!

Men are confused and getting fed up with dating games of the millennium! “Why don’t women just say what they really mean? Do they think that by playing “hot & cold” it will keep the guy interested?”

That’s another question…How does a guy know if she is even interested in him???

There are way too many mixed signals going on! Both men and women need to just be themselves and stop with this push/pull scenario that is happening out there. The women are also complaining that the men act interested only until they get a woman between the sheets! Some women say this is one of the reasons they are pulling back from men.

Unfortunately this isn’t the answer and if you want a real relationship you have to be real! Stop with the games and show your date “the fun side” of the person that you are. If you can’t be your authentic self then maybe you’re not ready to date. That goes for both sexes!

Please leave your comments below if you have some great answers to this question! 🙂

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Facebook Page

 

Ageism is Something that Young People Should be Aware of too!

Ageism is Something that Young People Should be Aware of too!

 pixabay-workplace-1245776__480

Ageism definition: prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.

As a mature women this topic of ageism is something I have been aware of for many years but it actually affects men & women of ALL ages.

Why is age allowed to define someone?

One of the first questions a person is asked on almost any form is; Enter Your Birthday mth/day/year. Why do they have the right to ask you this? Most non medical/government forms do not ask for your weight so why is this “none of your business” birthday question permitted?

The minute you tell someone how old you are, their judgment is automatically internalizing. It may not be verbally discussed but it is definitely stirring within the thought process of the person asking.

Most of us are guilty of doing this to some degree as we have been programmed to base people on who they are; by how old they are. We need to base our critiquing on what we actually see & hear, not on how old someone is on their birth certificate!

If employers closed their eyes when they were interviewing a potential employee, they would get a completely different picture of who that person sitting in their office really was. 

From a very young age I have always respected & appreciated people in their maturing years due to their enlightening non-stop wisdom. I liked to surround myself with their stories and life lessons that they have learned with each passing birthday.

One of my favorite celebrities is Betty White due to her humor & zest for life at the young tender age of 95! She greatly inspires me as did George Burns for many years. He died at age 100 in 1996 and people still talk about him! I rest my case…

Quote by George Burns: “Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”

Image result

Image result for betty white quotes on life
Image result for betty white quotes on life

 

People often become invisible when they reach a certain age.  No one should be ignored or considered “too old” by anyone.

We also have to abolish the double standard aging female vs. aging man scenario. It is well documented in history and even today, that men are viewed as “distinguished” as they age, while women in the workforce feel as if they are viewed as “grazers out in the pasture” after 50. (Thankfully this is slowly starting to change as women are fighting back as we speak!)

Although certain professions may have age restrictions due to strenuous job requirements, I truly believe that each person should be considered on an individual non-prejudiced nature. After all; 50 is the new 35 and with that comes great life experience, better fitness levels & professional expertise. Why wouldn’t a company embrace that?

Successful businesses have a variety of age groups in the employee mix as they are intelligent enough to understand how well this works. If there was only “one hiring age,” everyone would think the same way which can lead to a narrow minded marketing strategy down the road.

“An innovative business is a successful business!” How many people out there wouldn’t hire Richard Branson at the age of 66? Am I making my point yet?

Ageism is also a difficult time for many people turning 30. There is much anxiety today for this age group due to the path their parents & grandparents led. There is pressure to have children, buy a house & have the perfect career, which is not happening as often for everyone these days.

Companies want experience but don’t want to pay for it, so many University grads are getting passed over! Many businesses advertise to hire interns with “no pay”to work for a year! How can students afford to do that when they have 5 years of loans to pay off after getting their degree???

There is so much competition for only a few jobs that it is discouraging millennials from even wanting to go to school anymore! They can make more money as a server in a high end restaurant without having any loans to pay back.

It doesn’t seem to matter what type of career choice you venture into, the competition is fierce. Whether it is the gaming or social media market, there is a waiting room full of hopeful young men and women vying for the same job.

One of my friends is an amazing singer/songwriter in her 30’s. In music land she is considered less & less for her incredible talent strictly due to her age and has actually been told that a few times! Basically, she is not as programmable or in my words (easily manipulated) as a 15 year old rising star tends to be.

This is very sad! Who said that talent stops at 25?  There is a reason for shows like “The Voice” and “America’s Got Talent” that do not have an age restriction for mature applicants. Finally someone gets it!

Speaking of shows…

As a mature woman on YouTube I have taken some verbal beatings with regards to my age. I started my talk show 8 years ago on the YouTube platform which initially had an audience primarily in the under 25 category.  In the first year I was a called a wrinkled old bag, ugly & old, an aging bitch & a few other names that start with “F.”

Moving forward into 2017 with many age groups now visiting or uploading on YouTube & other social media sites, I am now very fortunate to have many wonderful comments written to me regularly with regards to my talk show videos.

The negative feedback occasionally still happens and it is still sadly apparent that ageism will probably always exist in social media with young adults. I guess it makes some people feel better to be able to vent their personal opinions as they can safely hide behind a computer while doing so.

So why did a mature woman decide to put herself out there on HD video & social media?

I started my online Lifestyle Talk Show to help men & women with dating, relationships, self esteem issues & to help them find love in their lives. So many people were complaining of how difficult it was to meet someone & how their self image & low self esteem was playing a big part in their loneliness.

I wanted to help make their lives easier by discussing numerous topics that I had dealt with during my long lived dating experiences, my divorce, being a single mother and my turbulent childhood. I am pleased to say that there are many wonderful people who truly appreciate my wisdom & life experience and I am happy to be able to help.

There will always be the few people who like to use bullying comments because of my advancing age & maturity, but I know in my heart they are lashing out due to their own unhappiness & insecurities. It makes some people feel powerful to put others down; another life lesson many of us learn much too late in life.

Regardless of what age you are now, it is time to think about where you want to be down the road with with each advancing birthday. It may not be affecting you at this particular moment but before you know it, you will be dealing with ageism in some form or another.

Surround yourself with mentors who have walked the walk of life as they will be the best guides you could ask for.

If we keep making age a factor in who we choose to have in our employment, our personal lives or our entertainment choices, we will be missing out on one Hell of a lot of talented & wise people we could learn from.

With many companies & establishments not hiring people after 50 these days, there are going to be many financially despondent people collecting welfare down the road. This could be one of your parents, yourself or even worse, one of your children.

It’s not too late to change your thinking and start to make a difference in this life. Everyone who crosses your path is there to teach you something or for you to teach them something. That is a good thing and an education all in itself. ❤

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show

Are You a Serial Dater?

Are You a Serial Dater?

In today’s video Dear Sybersue discusses the topic on being a serial dater. Are you addicted to dating?

  1. Do you always want that initial excitement that a new person brings to the mix?
  2. Do you move on quickly after one or two dates?
  3. Do things change after a few sexual encounters with them?

It might be time to figure out if there is a deep rooted fear buried from your past.

While many people are fed up with dating and the stress it entails, there are many men & women who treat dating as a game or an ego building tool. The more the merrier…NEXT!

How long can someone keep going from one person to the next without ever really getting to know them and only having a superficial encounter with each new conquest?  Is sex the reward?

Does it not become repetitive and somewhat lonely? Is it a hard place to remove yourself from?

If you have you been a serial dater and you now in a committed relationship,what did you do to change things and eventually fall in love?

Please leave your comments below as it might help others. I appreciate you taking the time to do so!

Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Dear Sybersue Facebook Page
Blogs & Videos