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Can Long Distance Love Relationships Stand the Test of Time? ❤️

Dear Sybersue Advice Show

Today on Dear Sybersue I discuss: Can Long Distance Love Relationships Stand the Test of Time? ❤️

Dating and relationships are so different today than they were 25-30 years ago. Public internet wasn’t even available until 1993 so Google, smartphones, and online dating sites were not available. Men and women had to be much more assertive when meeting each other, which was a good thing, I think. At least you looked up at each other and made eye contact, unlike today, with everyone staring down at their phones.

Sadly for some, that may be the price you have to pay in the Millennium with all this new technology at your fingertips. It’s very handy and available, which has now become the accustomed way to interact in the dating and relationship world for many men and women.

That is not to say that you shouldn’t take the time to look up and say hi to people the old-fashioned way as well. In fact, implementing both of these things will help contribute to you being more open to meeting a potential partner anywhere. The more positive energy you put out, the more positivity you will receive back!

Today, many people are not only dating online within their own city, but they are also expanding their dating choices to include other cities and countries into the mix.

You may ask: “Isn’t dating difficult enough, rather than adding mileage into the equation?” That really depends on how serious you are about wanting to find your love connection and having a partnership. Sometimes you have to go outside your usual comfort zone and include other opportunities into the mix.

Of course, it’s always easier to date someone closer to home, but with all the convenience of travel options today, there are many situations that allow you to meet potential partners in another city. Many people are now in careers that include travel, which also opens up the probability of meeting a potential love interest away from your home.

Is it worth it to even try? Is long-distance dating a good thing, or is it a situation that is doomed from the start?

As long as both people are happy and making a reciprocated effort with how things are progressing and continue to prioritize one another, then there is definitely a good chance things can work out well in a long-distance love scenario. You HAVE to be on the same page!

My sister met her husband in Hawaii while she was on a vacation with her friends. She lived n Vancouver and he lived in Calgary. They took turns visiting each other, and then she moved to Calgary for a few years. They ended up settling back in Vancouver, got married, had two wonderful sons, and they are still very happy together after 30 years!

Luckily they were fortunate to only live an hour’s flight away from each other, so it is much easier to make this scenario work than if you are living 3000+ miles away from one another. This is such an important thing to think about when you are deciding on proceeding with a long-distance romance. You both have to be realistic about so many variables.

Cyber relationships are also becoming very popular around the world.

The big problem with this dating format is that many men and women only see each other via FaceTime, Zoom, WhatsApp, and other video platforms, or only stay connected via texting. Some people don’t ever see who they are talking with or meet each other in person!

It’s very important that you know where you stand in these types of relationships. You need to be in agreement with how things are progressing in any new partnership and be cognizant of any red flags. If they keep making excuses as to why they can’t see you in person, then you have to be realistic about the fact that they may not be interested in anything more than a sexting type of arrangement. They could also be in a committed relationship with a partner but cheat with people online at the same time! This happens far too often!

Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

There are way too many of these “one-sided dating situationships” leaving numerous broken hearts in the process. To make matters even worse, they are often involved in more than one cyber relationship at the same time. (They have a lot more time on their hands when they are not spending time in person with you.)

Let’s now talk about being in a long-distance relationship and the expectations that go with this type of partnership. Here are some respectful rules that should be agreed upon and adhered to:
  1. You need to discuss whether you are going to be exclusive with each other, or is it more of a casual “friends with benefits” arrangement?
  2. How often will you see each other, and will the travel time be shared and reciprocated equally?
  3. Making time to meet each other’s family and friends. If you are in a committed relationship with your long-distance partner, you should be a big part of their life, regardless of living in different area codes. This means meeting the people you are both close to in everyday life. (If you haven’t met them after a few months, they could be hiding something.)
  4. You should have regular face time calls during the time you’re apart. This keeps the connection and conversation going until you are able to see each other in person again.
  5. Set up weekly video date nights. Covid brought a lot of new ideas to our screen time when we were all isolated at home. Be creative! You can still have a wine and movie night together online.
  6. You need to have some important conversations to ensure you are both on the same page when it comes to where you will choose to live and/or have children when the time is right.
  7. Be communicative! Being open and honest is such a great thing when it comes to sharing a conversation with your partner. When someone is cryptic or evasive, it becomes a big problem in many long-distance relationships. This causes so many insecurities when the dynamics shift without any discussion as to why someone is pulling back.
  8. Don’t shut each other out. If you are going through some tough times at work or something is happening on a personal level, share this with your partner. They have a right to know if you are struggling with something.

Be prepared for some of the downfalls that may come with a long-distance relationship.

  • Travel time and expenses.
  • Finding the time from your job to go and see your partner.
  • Family responsibility (kids or elderly parents) keeps you too busy to plan visits.
  • World problems such as covid, wars, and airline issues that we are seeing now.
  • Medical issues that could prevent you from traveling.
  • Insecurities start to become a problem due to one person pulling back and not responding as often as they did in the initial stages. You feel the connection shifting, and it is becoming unbalanced.

If the Cons are starting to outweigh the Pros in your long-distance relationship, communicate this to your partner. Maybe there is something going on that they aren’t telling you, or they are not aware has changed between you as a couple. Know when to stay and when to walk away from any relationship you allow yourself to be in, and never leave someone hanging wondering where they stand with you.

Communication is the key to nurturing a wonderful and successful long-term relationship. ❤️❤️

Sybersue xo

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