Hi! Welcome to my advice blog here at Dear Sybersue! Today’s topic is: Be Aware of what they Don’t Say on the First Few Dates!
We are always looking for the obvious red flags when we are out dating someone new, but this “selective silence” or evasiveness can be an even bigger problem that many men and women are not really paying attention to.
Being secretive or removed from certain conversations may be a big warning sign of something that they are hiding or they are afraid to share with you.
Early discussions are very important on a date and can make or break the option of a second date. You shouldn’t have to work that hard to get someone to open up when the connection between the two of you is on a reciprocated communicative level.
Dating is all about getting to know someone but people often think that when someone is closed off it makes them mysterious! Don’t get me wrong, a touch of mystery is somewhat attractive but not at the expense of never knowing who they really are.
Yes, some people are a little more introverted on the first few dates, but that is where you need to understand the difference between someone who is being shy or who is being cryptic and unforthcoming.
We date people to get to know them and see if we are a good fit together. Not everyone is a great connection and that is one of the main reasons why we date. It’s OK to kiss a few of the wrong frogs but it is knowing when to move on from them, that will bring you closer to a meeting an amazing partner.
In my experience with my coaching and advice column, there are two things that aren’t working for many men and women when it comes to dating:
- They aren’t giving people a chance due to their high maintenance check lists and they base everything solely on physical attraction.
- They spend too much time with someone who isn’t interested in them and they barrel through every red light without caution.
There needs to be self respect and healthy (not ridiculous) boundaries when we are dating or in a relationship.
People are becoming very insecure due to their own judgmental attitudes!
Think about it; if you are just as selective and picky as everyone else out there, how will anyone ever get together to have a great partnership? If you are a smart dater you will look at the whole picture and pay attention to important human decency, instead of caring how popular they are on instagram.
Pay attention on those first few dates and don’t ignore your inner warning voice. Your intuition is your best friend in all aspects of your life!
I love to hear from both men and women & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!
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