What Has Online Dating Taught Me? 8 Life Lessons I Learned From Dating Online
Description: There are many pros and cons of online dating. I started out my own social experiment to find out all of them. In this post, I’m sharing the lessons I’ve learned and will tell you everything about online dating red flags. Scroll down!
Love it or hate it, online dating will be here to stay forever, or at least for a long time. All my friends have been using dating apps or sites and seemed to like them a lot. I felt like a kind of outsider since I never even visited dating sites. So, I’ve decided to fix it! I read the best dating sites review, registered on several dating sites, and downloaded a dating app. I was skeptical but still intrigued!
Well, I started my experiment 4 months ago. Although I haven’t found an ideal partner for me yet, I learned several vital life lessons from dating online. On top of that, before writing this post, I interviewed my friends, and they also shared some interesting info.
So, here is a guide to online dating, based on the first-hand experience. Do read it to avoid online dating mistakes.
1. Be Yourself And Get That Self-respect
When it comes to online dating success, just be you! Don’t stress over photos and writing a profile. Use photos that show you in everyday life, and don’t write too sophisticated things about yourself; it looks weird. Just be yourself! Also, you have to be firm and clear with your boundaries. Don’t let anyone cross them. It’s a vital new skill for me: I’ve learned to defend myself and be firm when I need to be.
2. I Realized That The Safety Comes First
Safety is always key! You should understand that there are plenty of false profiles with fake info, and any of us can be targeted by felons, predators, or scammers. They are hunting for vulnerable people to victimize. So, never and ever give your personal information to anybody, and it’s better to stop a conversation as soon as you notice something suspicious.
3. I Started To Value My Time
Once I went on a date with a really arrogant guy. Just imagine, he ended his every other phrase with “Didn’t you know that!?” Oh, that was disgusting! Well, I cut that date short!
After several dates when I tried to be nice and wasted my time with people I didn’t really like, I realized that my time is valuable, and there is no sense to spend it with despicable individuals.
4. I Learned To Take Things Easy
I realized that I should be more light-hearted about love and relationships. I met all sorts of people online: nasty, weird, boring, awkward. Of course, I met a guy with whom I shared amazing chemistry and conversations, but one day he stopped texting me and never asked me out again. That was my first, hence, frustrating online dating failure. However, I learned not to spend long hours analyzing and overthinking my and his actions. You know, it doesn’t matter!
5. I Honed My Observation Skills
After many dates with various guys, I learned to understand quite a lot about an individual from how he interacts with me. Does he show care towards me? What are his communication patterns? Is he a good listener? Does he interrupt, talk over me, ignore whatever I say?
To tell the truth, I was surprised how much of a character I can understand from a short time together. It’s just a matter of experience!
6. I Learned Not To Expect Too Much
People can be very different online! I mean that some of them are just amazing texters! That’s because texting is not spontaneous, and they can plan what to say or edit a message many times before sending it. Unfortunately, some of these great texters turn out to be not so great in real-life conversation that involves quick-thinking and spontaneity. So, for me, it’s always better to have the first date early on, just after several texts.
7. I Taught Myself Not To Be Monogamous
I am a fan of monogamous relationships. But online dating dictates its own rules. I think we shouldn’t limit ourselves to talking or meeting with just one guy. In my humble opinion, the more guys we have coffee with, the better we can compare and contrast. However, don’t waste your time on unpleasant chaps.
8. There Are Too Many “Choices”
The flip side of what I was writing in the previous block is that I realized that too many “choices” can really spoil me. After several dates in a row, I found myself to be less invested in them and the people I met. Too frequent dates actually made me less likely to engage seriously with anyone because I guessed that there was someone better waiting for me on the site or app. So, you always should keep the balance!
I do hope that my observations and online dating tips will help you make the process of finding your best match easier, safer, and more pleasant!
If you have good ideas or tips on online dating, share them with us in the comment section! Let’s learn from each other!
Rebecca Shinn is a freelance writer and dating and relationship expert with a Psychology degree. Her field of expertise is relationship, dating, and marriage. The important part of Rebecca’s practice is to help couples with communication skills, problem-solving skills, stress management, or finance skills.
Rebecca started writing 2 years ago to inspire and help people to have a better dating life, strong relationships, or find a way to keep a marriage strong for long years. With all said above, Rebecca is proud to be a mother and a wife so she doesn’t only use her knowledge for helping others but keeping her family strong and happy.