My Boyfriend Says I am Too Nice and He is Bored In Our Relationship! I do everything for him because I love him so much! Why doesn’t he seem to appreciate it and what am I doing wrong? Thanks, Jen
Sometimes it really hurts when we hear a blunt comment like this from our loved ones, but it can also be a good thing when our partner communicates with us and it can actually save your relationship.
Being blindsided by a breakup you didn’t see coming is much more painful!
In a case like Jen’s here, her boyfriend is giving her the head’s up that he is not happy and is becoming restless in their partnership. Something needs to change soon. He is feeling like he can’t breathe and that he is her sole purpose in her life.
Being put on a pedestal can feel pretty wonderful in the beginning but after a while, it becomes overbearing and very uncomfortable. Living for someone else shows a lack of self-worth and de-values your own life purpose. No one should bow down to anyone in this way.
We all need some fun challenges in our relationships which keep us on our toes and excited for what’s next. It gets boring when our partner becomes predictable and we can do no wrong. It’s not unlike the movie Groundhog Day!
Same shit different day.
Boredom is one of the biggest catalysts in partnership endings. If a couple gives up making a reciprocated conscious effort to keep the spark alive in their relationship, it is only a matter of time until it fizzles out permanently.
When you continually give unconditional love and support to someone without having any expectations with how you are treated, you will eventually be taken for granted. This happens in every type of relationship including your career, your family, your close friends, or with your children.
You need to always respect yourself first if you want to be respected back. Being the accommodating yes woman will keep you in unhealthy relationship patterns.
Make sure you have a life purpose outside of your partnership. What makes you tick and what gives you joy when you are not in a couple’s scenario? Who you truly are is who you are when you stand alone.
Jen, your boyfriend wants to hear what you have to say and to add some depth to your partnership. He doesn’t want everything on his shoulders when it comes to decision making. He wants you to have an opinion and be a partner to him.
No one should enter your life to complete you, regardless of what that old movie cliche states. You are enough by yourself and anyone who comes into your world should be an added bonus of who you already are and visa versa. That way you can grow and evolve together without the mundane rapport that other couples often face throughout the years.
Keeping diversity within your partnership is the key to staying close because you have way too much to talk about to ever get bored. It’s not too late to save your relationship and make the necessary changes. Let your boyfriend see the real you and he will appreciate your partnership in a much better light.
Thank for writing Jen, I hope everything works out great!
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