How do you know if your relationship is in trouble?
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS?
- The most obvious sign is a change in your sex life. There is a lack of intimacy or very little romance. They may make excuses to go to bed at a different time than you just to avoid it.
- Their workload has increased or their sports/hobby has all of a sudden become more demanding & you are spending much less time together.
- Their appearance has changed!
- You can walk around naked & they hardly notice.
- You often bicker about the smallest things.
- If and when you do have sex it is more of a 2-minute happy ending scenario with little or no foreplay.
- They stop listening to you.
- The spark is no longer in their eyes.
- Kissing is almost nil or just a polite peck on the cheek.
- They stop talking about the future or making any concrete plans with you.
- The communication is lacking; they are not listening or paying attention to the small details the way they used to. It has taken on almost a clinical feel when they talk to you.
- They are on their phone a lot and never leave it unattended.
- They start to pull back from your family and close friends.
- They are withdrawn and start to sleep in another room.
Paying attention to your relationship and the subtle changes will keep you on top of what might need addressing before it is too late to fix it.
Many couples break up due to the smallest details that eventually became huge problems they couldn’t overcome. These irreconcilable differences are the reason many marriages end. People are not paying attention to what is going on at home!
I have talked to a great number of men and women about how they felt completely blindsided when their partner left them; because they saw no signs at all!
There are always signs!
One of the worst things you can do is become lazy in your relationship. Assuming everything is fine or being complacent about sex and communication is a sure way to the demise of your relationship. Boredom is one of the key reasons people walk away from anything in life and it just adds fuel to the fire when a partner doesn’t seem to care or takes you for granted.
These ingredients are the toxic recipe for a failed relationship.
If you slacked off at work and became an apathetic employee you would be fired because you are not respecting your job or your environment. This is the same thing in a romantic partnership ~ it needs to be nurtured!
HOW DO WE DO THAT?
- The little things that make them go “aww that’s so sweet” should never stop.
- Sexy notes or texts should still be frequent & don’t ever stop with romantic birthday cards saying “to my beautiful wife” or “loving husband.”
- Spend quality time together as a couple. Don’t allow your best friend over to constantly hang out with the two of you as a buffer to combat the silence of your relationship.
- Your partner shouldn’t have to put up flashing neon signs that your birthday or anniversary or other special occasions are approaching. Make a note somewhere to yourself. All mobile phones have calendars now so there is really no excuse to forget!
- Make date nights & holiday plans. Get a sitter for your child, dog, cat or gerbil! Whatever you have to do to get out for quality time with your partner. Surprise nights are great too!
- Do your best never go to bed separately or angry. A snuggle a night keeps a couple tight!
- Compliment them often and notice when they do something different with their appearance. Pay attention to them.
- Set some time to sit down with a drink or cup or tea and discuss each other’s day. Do not bombard them with drama the minute they walk through the door. No nagging, bitching or whining! (that goes for the ladies too! )
- Always get up and hug your partner when they come home. Acknowledge them.
- One passionate “kiss a day” will keep the divorce lawyer far away!
To keep your partnership alive & not become a divorce statistic, your love needs to be fueled so that the fire between the two of you does not burn out. Ignoring any of the basic aspects of caring for your job or your children would be wrong so why do we allow our relationships to fizzle & die as a last priority?
Make each day with your partner a new experience. Do something sweet for them at least once a day and every few weeks plan something different to do as a couple.
Don’t be the last to know that your partner has been unhappy for months and don’t let complacency kill your partnership.
It will just be the same with any relationship you move onto down the road if you don’t learn how to fix your part in this. So why not work on this relationship to keep it fresh?!
You fell in love with them for a reason, hold onto that. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.