Today’s video: Why is My Teenage Daughter So Disrespectful Since Her Dad & I Separated, is a topic that many single moms (and single dads) can relate to!
I decided to add another video to my YouTube channel for single parents and will continue to do so every few months due to the numerous questions I have received recently on my advice column.
As a single mom since my son was 18 months old, I know how difficult things can be when dealing with a teenager and a pending divorce. Ohhhh how I know!
Most kids coming from broken homes will act out in one way or another because they are crushed by the demise of the family dynamics they had been used to. They are venting their frustration the only way they know how and that is through anger at school or lashing out the closest person to them, you their mom.
Sometimes it will feel like she is siding with her father over you and that can really hurt and make you feel unloved. Not only have you lost your husband, you feel your daughter slipping away too.
Be assured that she is just finding her own way through this messy situation and she does love you.
Teenagers can be volatile with their emotions even when they are not dealing with a family breakup. Their hormones can turn them into Linda Blair from “The Exorcist!”
It is very important to hear what she has to say but you must maintain some strong boundaries if she is being nasty and disrespectful to you on a continual basis. It’s not OK for her to treat you like crap and you need to sit down and really talk to her about what is going on.
She needs to hear you and you need to hear her.
Don’t pretend everything is the same at home during this breakup with her dad. She needs to feel validated and safe to discuss the reality of what has transpired within her family and to have time to grieve and deal with her own emotions.
Never let her be your sounding board. Make every effort possible not to let her become the parent who takes care of you. It’s not her job. Your daughter still wants her mom and you need to be her rock throughout her young life.
“I know that’s what I should do but she is so argumentative and defensive, sometimes it’s easier to just ignore it and let her rant.”
Of course you don’t want to fight with your daughter especially when you are dealing with all the legal aspects of the upcoming divorce. It is so much easier to let her have her way because there is less drama in the house. But that isn’t what she is looking for…
She is looking for guidance and emotional support even if it seems like she is pushing you away in the opposite direction. Family breakups affect everyone in the house not just mom and dad.
Please watch this video above to see how you can handle this scenario with a different perspective.
I really love to hear from both men and women & will always take time to answer you back. Please leave your comments below!