In this weekly video upload Dear Sybersue discusses: Are You Constantly Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship?
This is a common problem with many couples in their partnerships but shouldn’t be a problem long term! We all go through stuff in our lives that can leave us feeling less than adequate about who we are.
This affects both men and women because self-esteem issues play havoc with all of us during certain stages of our lives. Working on ourselves is an ongoing process because we don’t stop evolving.
This is a good thing!
This is something we need to share with our partner so we can help each other through those tough times and not let them fester so that it becomes an ongoing insecurity.
On the other side of the coin, if your partner is trying to make you jealous, talking down to you or squashing your accomplishments you will need to re-think your relationship with them.
Why are you with them and what is keeping you there?
A partnership is supposed to be a reciprocated loving and safe place, not somewhere that constantly makes you question yourself.
What do you think, have you dealt with this scenario in your past? Please leave your comments below this post. 🙂
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Hi Sybersue, I’m glad that you pointed out that feelings of less-than in a relationship can be used to motivate you to improve. My wife and I are complete opposite personalities and we do attract. She’s an extroverted feeler and I’m an introverted thinker. I help her understand concepts, and she helps me understand relationships. But she was no help in helping me to become more social.
She just couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to be social. So, I had to get help elsewhere.
But her being social helped motivate me to become more social. People often say that their partner is making them feel less-than. I think that this is impossible. Only I can make me feel less-than.
My partner might try to make me feel less-than, but they can’t succeed unless I agree.
Now, looking at my partner I might see that they are better at some things than I am. And that might motivate me to improve myself in that area. But just because my partner thinks I’m less-than is no reason for me to think that I am less-than.
So, if I am feeling less-than, that’s on me not my partner.
However, if my partner persists in trying to make me feel less-than, and it becomes boring, maybe it’s time to change partners.
Yes, it is true that it is totally up to us who we allow in our lives and our feelings are our own responsibility. This is why I said you should never feel uncomfortable with your partner.
Some people can be manipulative or verbally abusive which can creep up slowly in a relationship but if you pay close attention in the early stages of a new romance there are usually signs showing who they really are.
Having a reciprocated respect for each other is so important to keep a partnership healthy. I like the fact that you and your wife understand the work involved in maintaining a strong relationship.
Thanks for writing and adding your input. ❤ Dear Sybersue