Collaborative Post: Keeping Things Equal In A Relationship

Close-up of Couple Holding Hands

Plenty of people have trouble keeping things equal in their relationship from level of control to decision-making. Often, the partner that is naturally more powerful begins to take over all the decisions and, consciously or subconsciously starts to exert control. This is never going to be a healthy situation, and it can lead to one person in the relationship feeling completely helpless and pushed down. That doesn’t always mean that there are issues like abuse or manipulation but even the scales shifting slightly in one direction can lead to trouble. So, how do you keep things equal?

Encourage Give And Take

People often look at relationships where turns are taken from choosing where to go on holiday to choosing what to watch on TV that night as rather silly. But actually, this is quite a healthy situation to be in where each partner is happy to give and take so that both can get what they need. You might think that you can just make these decisions together, but that’s not always possible because opposites to tend to attract. This means that what you want to do one evening might be nothing like what your partner wants. So, the best way to fix this is with a little schedule of some sort.

Relationships tend to break down when one partner begins to make all the decisions. Suddenly, one of the two people will feel as though they are not living their own life, but rather a role in someone else’s story.

Sharing Choices

Of course, in some cases, it will be possible to make decisions together, and this can begin and the start of the relationship. For instance, you might decide what restaurant to eat at on your first date together, rather than one person setting up the night for the other. Later on, it could be present in the choice of engagement ring. You might decide to choose it together, despite traditionally this being a gift from one person to the other. According to, there are great options if you do decide you want to choose the engagement ring together. This sharing of power keeps things equal even in a situation where it is predominantly, one person’s decision.

If you find that you aren’t naturally finding yourself in situations where you can share choices, it again suggests one person has more control over the other. This will lead to animosity and usually the person being controlled will begin to push away, perhaps exploring alternative partnerships.

Discussions Are A Positive

You might think that if you find yourself constantly disagreeing with your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. But that’s not true because as we’ve already mentioned, opposites tend to go together. You can read more about choosing a partner on The true defining point of the relationship is seeing how far those discussions go. If they evolve into fully heated screaming matches, there’s an issue. But debating points of view and then accepting differences in opinion is a sign that things are healthy.

One thing you shouldn’t do is avoid talking about sensitive topics. This is just going to cover up a potential issue. Eventually, you’ll find that by avoiding these types of topics, you will reach a boiling point and a serious argument will erupt seemingly from nowhere. Of course, this is due to the fact that all the little issues that aren’t being talked about are bubbling underneath the service.

Small Gestures Matter

As people always say, the devil is in the little details, and it’s the small gestures that matter most when it comes down to it. This could be anything from helping bring in the shopping to doing the washing up together, rather than leaving it to one person. Little gestures like this are the foundation of a firm relationship where each partner feels equal to the other.

If one partner is constantly putting in all the effort, the relationship isn’t healthy. They might again, begin to look to other people to provide the level of comfort and support that their partner should provide.

We hope this helps shed some light on how to keep things equal in a relationship and why not doing so could ultimately lead to your partnership breaking apart.

Man and Woman Boat Rowing in Sea during Golden Hour



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