Should You Tell Your BFF that Her Boyfriend is a Douche?

 

Dear Sybersue discusses the question: Should you tell your BFF that her boyfriend is  really an assh@le? No one likes him but she doesn’t know that. She thinks her boyfriend is great even though he is aggressive, controlling and abusive!

Would you intervene?

Should you?

Whenever there is a question regarding safety or abuse with someone, it is always important to help out your friends & family by acknowledging your concerns. No one wants to be “the snitch” or “that person” that comes across as interfering, but sometimes it is necessary to be the person who does this.

Love really can be blind which makes some people ignore the red flags in front of them. They don’t actually see the real person and who they are in a relationship with. Lust can do powerful things to a woman and not always in a good way.

We all need a little guidance at certain times in our lives and being a BFF to someone means having to talk about the hard things occasionally as well. It is all about how you deliver the warning to your friend and how gentle you are about it. Being too critical will put them on the defensive and have the opposite effect. Give them some examples that makes them aware of what you have noticed about their unhealthy relationship.

We all know the stories of the friendships that end because of this type of situation but a true and loyal friend will understand how much you love them to put yourself in this uncomfortable predicament. Real friendship isn’t only about the good things, it also includes being true to them when things need to be addressed.

Reply from a YouTube Viewer Below:

The Gman

I tend to agree and I’m a guy. About six months I told my sister she’s dating a complete waste of time. Granted he wasn’t violent, but he’s lazy, self entitled, doesn’t like our once a week family dinners, hangs out with losers, he’s self employed but doesn’t want to work hard, everything is bare minimum and when my sister mentioned marriage and kids he flipped out and told her that’s just too much right now…
So I finally decided to have a chat with her and burst her bubble, she’s been seeing him for about 2 years, she thinks the sun shines out of his… anyway, she certainly didn’t like what I said, she didn’t like me for about two months, it was just icy between us. She thought I was being too harsh on him but couldn’t really explain why…
From my perspective I think some people, unfortunately more so the ladies and probably some men too, go through a denial when it comes to the person they are with, placing them in an elevated position where they don’t belong in the first place, these “lofty” positions need to be earned not just given from day one because the guy knows how to comb his hair. I think my sis has self confidence issues and this guy for what its worth isn’t bad looking but then, that’s pretty useless if he’s deficient in every other way, and isn’t that how it seems to go, you want brains… you have to compromise on the looks or you want looks… you compromise on the brains.
Long story short, this guy calls her on the phone… (not face to face) tells her he’s overwhelmed and cant commit to her and basically its over. Out of everyone in our family who chose to say nothing (though they all knew), she came to me first.
She told me she knew I was right but she didn’t want to accept it, so on this basis I do agree with you, we all have freedom of speech and can respectfully give our opinion. I sat her down and I told her I’ll never mention it again but this is how I feel and I also think its worth nothing its important to only tell them once and not harp on about it as this respects their choice; or else you soon become public enemy number 1 and that’s not good either.

Susan McCord @  The Dear Sybersue Talk Show
Facebook: facebook.com/dearsybersue
Blog & Video:  sybersue.com

 

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