I don’t usually write about parenting or kid stuff but what I saw yesterday at Costco made me so pissed off that I just had to vent!
A pregnant mom about 38 years old was in the checkout lineup with her 3 year old daughter (I think her name was Princess or something that had a title!) and another young girl probably about 17. Princess who was sitting in the buggy, started kicking her mother’s stomach to which mommy gently said “that’s not nice,” which only encouraged the “spawn of the exorcist” to kick her even more!
The teenager reacted the same way as the mother and did nothing to stop the 3 year old. After a few minutes she got bored and decided to slap her non-reactive mother in the face. OMG now I am spitting out my teeth at this horrific lack of discipline for anyone to see. So what does mom do next? She tries to divert Princess’s attention in her sing song voice by calling daddy on face time. “Look it’s daddy!” Ignoring her bad behavior is basically rewarding the child with a bag full of candy.
So what the Hell is going on? Why are so many parents allowing their children to behave without any form of repercussion for their actions? Do they not understand that their sweet little cherubs are going to grow up to be assh@les? Come on really? This sugar coating type of reaction to these “big wake up” calls is not helping your children!
Ignoring the real problem as to why a child would even think she could kick her pregnant mom is so disturbing I can barely think straight. What is she going to be like when the baby is born and she is not the #1 Princess anymore? Maybe she will transfer that behavior to being a bully on the playground at school or maybe she will grow out of it? (Personally, I wouldn’t wait around to find out and would deal with it at the time when these mean streaks were taking place!)
One of the big discussions in the world of parenting today is the taboo word; spanking! It is regarded as abuse and your children can be taken away from you with child services intervening in many cases. I grew up in the dark ages where kids were spanked and just a little afraid of their parents. We knew there were boundaries and when we crossed them we also knew what the outcome would be! So many children have so few boundaries today and act out anyway they please. They control what goes on in the household, not the parents.
“The sense of entitlement age” which is usually reserved for the 13-19 age group, has now filtered down to toddlers! I was so hoping that this would turn around and parents would start to discipline their children once again; but unfortunately that’s not happening and it’s getting worse. I am “the in your face excited” gushing woman you meet on the street when I see your dog or your child as I passionately love them both. Saying that, I have no time for anyone who is badly behaved! There is no reason for this to happen with all the resources and support groups available at our fingertips! As a parent we are the guides for our children and it is up to us to try to lead them in the right direction.
Do you want your kids to grow up friendless or still living at home when they are 35 because they have no skills and no one can stand to be around their entitled presence? You are setting them up for a difficult & lonely life! No one said being a parent was easy, and I know that very well being a single mother for 18 years. I got tired of my own voice and I can only imagine how my son felt! Yes, I had to be “mama bitch” when I told my son he couldn’t go out for Halloween when he was 12 years old because his grades were falling and his snippy attitude towards household rules & also ignoring his after school curfews etc.
Despite my avid warnings that this would be the punishment should his behavior continue, he pushed the limits until I had to follow through with grounding him on Halloween night. Do you know how difficult that was for me to be Mommy Dearest while all his friends were out enjoying one of best kid occasions of the year?? It still makes me feel like crap but his grades did start to improve and he was always on time for dinner after that. It takes so much work to be a good parent but slacking off in the most important part of the child rearing process, is not a good thing.
What things should you do to help your kids to be responsible & learn valuable lessons that can help them become a good person as they continue to grow?
1. Challenge them by giving them life skills to think about.
2. Give them choices but each one should have something that makes them think.
3. Make them do chores at home. Most kids do not have many responsibilities which does not help them respect their environment.
4. Do not BUY your kids love with material things. They need to earn those things! Take time to show your child you love them, never be too busy.
5. It’s OK to say No! Communicate with them about why you said no and get them to add their thoughts as to why they think the answer should be yes.
6. Pay attention to their passions and what talents they may have. Give them a project with that in mind. It could be something that helps out someone less fortunate than they are.
7. Never ever let your child talk or react badly towards you or anyone else! Hitting, spitting, swearing, tantrums are not acceptable regardless of what age they are! Do not make excuses for their behavior. If you are in a store or restaurant, pack up your stuff and leave immediately.
8. Take away things like their TV, Phone or computer privileges when they disrespect you and your rules. Time Out in their bedroom will give them nothing else to do but think! God forbid!
9. Don’t over praise them! Of course they need pats on the back & acknowledgement but they also need to know when they can improve on things.
10. Teach them about money! Have them open a bank account and put half their allowance in every week. Start this as early as possible before they even start school. Make them get a part time job when they turn 15. When they earn their own money they respect how hard it is to make it, which helps them value it more!
Teaching your children the basic etiquette of life is the best tool you can give them! They need to respect others at an early age so they do not become a self absorbed narcissistic adult. Have them do kind things for others as often as possible. Little things like holding the door for people, carrying groceries for mom, helping an elderly neighbor with a simple chore or being responsible for their pet, (which includes poop or kitty litter cleanup!) will all lead them to being a caring person down the road.
I am sorry if any of you are offended by my use of the asshole title when it comes to some kids, but there really is no other word that describes this type of “Costco kicking pregnant mom child” behavior so eloquently. There are some amazing children out there that are very well behaved and raised by some wonderful parents who understand that the role of mom or dad is certainly not always a picnic at Disneyland.
What they do know is that teaching their children that real life scenarios are not about how new their iphone is or being given a Ferrari at age 16 but it is all about appreciating the little things, respecting others, having goals & building a career, having some morals and learning how to be a loving & happy person that people want to be around.
Don’t give up! It’s never too late to teach old dogs new tricks! (Literally; because my hair stylist took her 11 year old dog to bark busters and guess what? It worked!)
So…how would you have handled your child if she was the one mentioned here in this post?
What actions would you have taken?
Susan McCord @ The Dear Sybersue Lifestyle Talk Show