Dear Sybersue; Help! I Want to Start Dating again after my Divorce but I feel Old & Unattractive!

Finding Love Again after Divorce

Finding Love Again after Divorce

Hi Sybersue,

I am a big fan of your talk show and have been watching many of your videos to help get me out of this self sabotaging stage I seem to be stuck in since my marriage ended 1 year ago.  I am 38 years old with 2 children ages 9 and 12.  My 45 year old husband ended the relationship because he said he was tired of my sweat pant wardrobe and that I never wanted to do anything.

OK he is right about the clothing part but his idea of “doing something” is rock climbing on a vertical slab 2000 ft up, ice camping in the Rockies or hiking up Mount Everest! He’s obsessed and fanatical about staying in shape and is not happy just going for a bike ride or playing basketball with the kids!  A long romantic walk on the beach would never be a part of his online dating profile I can assure you of that!  He verbally bashes me anytime he can, which is usually about my appearance or my nursing career. He hates it that I take care of anyone but him! To be honest, I am relieved we have ended our 15 year partnership as even my children were fed up with having to be a part of all his fear factor day treks and need for control!

So…the main reason I am writing is because I seem to have developed a self esteem issue about my physical appearance and taken on the attitude of “who would want me!”  I cut myself down at any given chance and can’t stand to see my own reflection in the mirror right now.  I used to be a beautiful confident woman up until about 3 years ago when my relationship started going downhill.  My husband hasn’t really looked at me in a sensual way since he had an affair with a 27 year old a few years back.  (I found out through a friend who happened to see them out a few times.) When I confronted him he didn’t deny it but said he stop seeing her if I was more sexual towards him. It didn’t seem to matter when I was 3 years ago; he still stepped out on our marriage!

Since then I gave up and figured what’s the point? He still found someone else he preferred, no matter how many sexy outfits I wore, how many sexting messages I sent or how pretty I did my hair for him.  He just constantly threw her in my face and complained about everything at home.  He also repeatedly said how much older I looked than my 38 years! I am grateful to say that men still look at me and I am not over weight but I still don’t know how I can get past this self defeating place I have put myself in. What is wrong with me and how can I change this.  I would like to meet someone and have a “real” relationship one day!

Help!

Kristina B.

Please click on this link below to see Dear Sybersue’s answer:

http://www.theswexperts.com/dear-sybersue-i-want-to-start-dating-again-after-my-divorce-but-i-feel-old-unattractive/

Dating After a Divorce

Dating After a Divorce

Check out Dating and Relationship Videos on Susan McCord’s Youtube Channel 

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