Cheating in a Relationship: Can you forgive?


I love you! It didn’t mean anything, it was just sex!”

 

How many times have you heard this line on TV or in real life? Would you be able to get past your partner cheating on you & if you were able to forgive them could you ever really forget? Which sex has the harder time dealing with this scenario?

Why Do Some Women Cheat?

  • When they feel emotionally rejected or bottom of the priority list.
  • In retaliation to a cheating partner
  • Lack of romance or sexual intimacy at home.
  • Loneliness in their partnership due to work or travel demands.
  • Weakness or self esteem issues (the sexual pursuer senses vulnerability in her & takes advantage of it.)

Why Do Some Men Cheat?

  • Temptation due to a sexually aggressive woman.
  • Bored sexually at home.
  • Sexual addictions or very high sex drive!
  • Commitment issues.
  • Their partner is not interested in sex.
  • Not receiving the type of sex they prefer.
  • Forbidden fruit or the excitement of new sexual scenarios.
  • Subconsciously trying to end their relationship.

While you might be able to forgive someone for cheating, both men & women never really lose that deep feeling of hurt & or get back the trust 100% in their broken relationship. (Of course it depends on what transpired for someone to take the risk in cheating outside the partnership.) It is never easy to move on & forgive but a onetime situation is probably easier to get past than a full blown affair that lasted for several months or years. This wound may never heal because they invested their time with someone else while lying to you for an extended period of time! That premeditated relationship will never be forgotten for the person who was deceived & humiliated.

Being the last one to know your partner is having an intimate liaison outside your home is devastating!

Cheating or being cheated on at a young age can be life altering in a few ways. It can either help make you “clearly” see how you played a part in it, or mess you up for years after depending on how your ego deals with it. Cheating can actually be the catalyst to subconsciously getting out of a bad relationship; but you should be strong enough to end it without bringing someone else into the mix! Breakups are difficult enough without adding the hurt of infidelity.

Part of maturity & growth is learning how to evolve from life’s twists & turns. This includes every person you have allowed into your heart; what did you learn & why were they there? Everyone you meet has a purpose as to why entered your world. Understanding the message will help you continue onto the next exciting path. Holding onto anger or continually choosing abusive relationships will only hinder your future happiness. Toxic behavior needs to be removed for a person to become whole.

When a relationship is in need of a change, the signs are usually there right from the start but many couples choose to overlook them. This is the dangerous part of a relationship when nurturing needs to be addressed, not ignored. It is so easy to make a busy life the priority over a partnership because so many people take their relationship for granted. Never get too comfortable that you think you can relax & neglect cherishing your partner.

It is usually a two way street when infidelity enters a partnership. The importance of staying connected emotionally & physically is so important on a daily basis. Each person needs to feel loved & safe in their commitment. When this scenario becomes unbalanced & left undiscussed is when the bond is weakened as insecurities enter the relationship & trust becomes an issue. Talking regularly & sharing conversations about “everything” will help strengthen the partnership. Sexually activity keeps the love alive like nothing else & should not be ignored. Never be too preoccupied to show love to your partner. Complements & affection is the building blocks to relationship longevity. Never be too busy to throw another log of the fire to keep the passion lit ~ your partner should always be #1.

Susan McCord @ https://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Cheating in a Relationship: Can you forgive?

  1. If you never discover the pain inside why one cheats this will continue to be the reason they do! It is a pain you can’t embrace because you don’t want that part of your partner! Isn’t that the core reason it has become worldwide spreading like a disease where in fact it is a disease? In other words aren’t you allowing a condition of the pain why they cheat to be the reason you don’t want your partner to heal! If you never reach this truth you are not setting your partner free. That is why the comment 2 way street makes sense! It makes sense as long as there is a reason to ignore it, but ignoring it gives or births it into existence.

    A child doesn’t want to be abused yet when it happens we convict the person who did it. This doesn’t heal the child it only allows that child to grow and repeat the behavior that stems from the pain that was inflicted upon them. In that pain they can’t see that they have a choice, they see their pain and no one including themselves, embracing this about them! It is a choice to embrace this as it is as much a part of them as the love they can give to you! It is also a choice to show them love inside this pain to heal them from it!! I get why you don’t forgive but realize you are running from the pain that they created inside themselves from a pain that someone gave to them.. and so on and so forth and so on. The vicious cycle is present because forgiveness has not happen to self and if it doesn’t happen there no one else will give it to them as well. They chase that pain and repeat it infecting everyone around them. It is the past living on in the future yet in one single moment another can come and embrace this about them in physical form. This seldom happens as you said forgiveness is something you can’t give and in that you are allowing them to not forgive themselves.

    It has a depth to what love truly is to understand it, past the pain to heal inside of it, It has to happen in your acceptance that you were not their to save them, it happens for them to you to accept these things inside of you. So many ways this can come out infidelity is not the only thing that can stem from pain. Over eating, drug abuse, self inflicted pain of any kind. It is non acceptance of self for a pain that was inflicted on you in silence it remains as it becomes a thought process of punishment.. This is not why we are here and it is not the way that we heal what was. You make a choice to heal it in this moment by embracing it and allowing it to be shared with another who can embrace this to expand the love found within it!

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  2. When conditions are met to be unconditional this is when this ultimately changes the current pain then ensues a relationship…

    It is usually a two way street when infidelity enters a partnership.

    Also realize it is not easy to share your complete pain with another so allow that to be your reason to be in partnership, for what is hidden will remain hidden hence the pathway to cheat, to be the place of pain that will cause you to do such an action. It will sabotage as long as it is hidden in dormant stage. Yet if you can embrace this pain and allow another to share it with you it becomes stagnant inside of love! It gives you a reason to always embrace the love of your partner as it is something they understand about you. And so in the energy to have the affair, adulterous, fling or other names directly to the one you are with. (that is the only pathway it will see!) It is after all about the connection you share is it not?

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  3. I always find it funny when someone says cheating is a 2-way street, as if some of the blame is to be given to the betrayed partner. Why? Under no circumstance is it ever the betrayed partner’s fault; not even a small percentage of blame should go towards them. They did not force the cheater to have sex with someone outside of their marriage. And it’s so funny to me because people cheat often even if their marriage is “perfect”. If my actions can dictate whether my significant other keeps it in his pants or not, then that is not the person I should be with. There is ALWAYS the option to leave a broken marriage or relationship before straying. It is for that reason that I will never forgive a cheater.

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