Hello, I was just wondering if I could get a quick bit of advice?
My girlfriend Amber & I (we are both 20 years old) have only been together for 5 months, and shes 4 months pregnant, yes I know its a bit fast but I have known her for 2 years. Her parents were not happy about the pregnancy but have come around in the last few months and are starting to accept it now. Amber & I get on like a house on fire for the most part, and we are very excited to be starting a family together. We have had our ups and downs just like everyone, but we usually just forgive and forget and move on. But recently she seems to be pulling back from me. She hasn`t spoken to me in 5 days & she said that she just needs a break and will tell me when shes ready. I don`t feel like I have done anything wrong but was just wondering what the reason is?
I am guessing its hormones and she just needs a bit of space, but it is a long distance relationship…well 50 miles, and I thought she had enough space. We only talk an hour a day and I only get to see her every other weekend. I do not feel like I am smothering her given this scenario. What has happened?
Thank you for your advice! [if given] I love your videos & you always seem fair & non judgmental. I really want to hear your thoughts on this.
Stephen From Australia
I think you may be right about the hormones but many women are usually more clingy during those times. She may be feeling forced into this situation due to the fact that she got pregnant a month after you hooked up and didn’t have time to get to know how she really felt about you. She is probably re-evaluating her future right now as this is a life changing time for her. New man, baby on the way, new hormones she’s never felt before, living in separate towns etc. She may be asking herself “How will this work? What about money & where will we live?” That is a lot to digest.
I am not usually an advocate of breaks in a relationship but this one does warrant an exception due to the circumstances. The only way you will know if she truly wants to be in a relationship with you, is to honor her “space” and remove yourself temporarily. Let HER do the “contacting” as you need to know if she is into having a relationship with you and also wanting to make an effort as a committed partner. She is calling the shots right now & as much as it is killing you not knowing, you will get your answer soon enough. Be realistic about what she has said to you. Have you really listened to her & what she wants down the road? Be honest with yourself too. Do you love her or just trying to do the right thing? You both need to communicate what you want and that you are not there just because of the unforeseen cards that were dealt to you with the pregnancy.
Good luck with everything Stephen, you are a “stand up” guy wanting to take responsibility at such a young age & that is wonderful. So many men would have run the other way. Good for you!!! Thanks for writing & keep me posted ~ Susan