Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
Most people will say that it isn’t possible & if you truly had powerful feelings of love for one person then you couldn’t possibly share those feelings with another. Many say that it means you must not have “truly loved” your partner, to be so easily taken away into someone elses arms. It is also said that there must be some major problems in the first relationship to make you tempted to go there.
We are all true romantics at heart & want to believe that when we tie the knot or commit with someone, we will always love that person and everything will be flawless.
It is a huge commitment to give yourself to someone for life and knowing that it could be taken away at any given moment, is the main reason so many people are insecure in relationships.
By loving our children & our partner, we are loving more than just one person. People will argue that the love we have for our kids is very different from “our relationship love”, but not always. Would you not die for them? Sacrifice things in your own personal life for them? Give them a kidney? Would you not do that for your partner as well? The main difference is you have sex, intimacy & romantic feelings for them. As the years go by in a long-term relationship the sex is not as frequent and many couples live in a companionship environment. Isn’t that a similar love that you share with your children? The biggest difference is; we love our children unconditionally but have more expectations from our partners!
Children Can Teach a Person so Much About Love:
How to be selfless & put someone else first
To be compassionate
How to Be patient
To lighten up on expectations & conditions
You want them to be the best they can be
You brag about their accomplishments
When you fall for someone as well as your partner, they are bringing something into your life that is missing.
This is not always a detriment to your present relationship & it may be something you didn’t even know about yourself that was important or missing, but all of a sudden you feel alive by what this other person brings into your world. Nothing is easy about this situation. Many people end up alone when venturing into this scenario because someone usually ends up getting hurt. (More often than not, the one that leaves a relationship for another person, is the one who gets dumped down the road.)
The trust is never complete when you are taken away from another relationship. Quite ironic, isn’t it? It’s all wonderful until you are exclusive with that “new love”, and then you spend all your time wondering if they are doing the same thing with another person.
Are we starting to remove ourselves from long monogamous relationships of the past?
Is it the forbidden fruit that makes us wander, or are we just plain bored being with the same person for years? Being torn between two lovers is happening more today, due to this monotony & n social networking availability. Back in the day of our parents, it was expected to be married once and celebrating a 40 year Anniversary was the norm. (They also married at a much younger age as well.)
Today both men and women have careers and the chances of meeting someone you may be attracted to is much more in your face now. This is all the more reason people who are in a relationship should never become complacent at home. Getting too comfortable may invite a change that you are not prepared for. If the chemistry is overpowering between two people, it is “not” easy to side step away from those powerful pheromones. It’s like a bakery & the teasing baked bread smell, eventually temptation will lure you into the shop. If you do decide to go for both scenarios, how do you handle being involved with 2 people? The guilt you feel can be over powering!
It is possible to fall for your pool boy & your husband at the same time but it may be for totally different reasons. It could start out as an unbelievable infatuation that goes beyond anything you have had before. It could be purely sexual, or emotional. Having an emotional intimacy is what many women are missing in a long term relationship. Many women need that connection before they can have sex with someone & men need the sexual connection to keep their relationship alive.
Enjoying sexual intimacy is always better when love is attached to it, but it is not always available and timing is everything. If you have a great communication with your partner & can talk about what needs to be addressed, there will be less of a chance of feeling these voids. Everyone has the same relationship issues after the initial euphoric passion wears off ~ It is how we care for the foundation that will keep it alive & keep us from hopping from one relationship to the next. Sometimes a person comes into our life to help us realize it is time to move on & occasionally it helps us to see what a powerful love we are blessed with at home. Whatever the scenario, be honest with yourself & your partner on what you need in your life, don’t let them be the last to know or hear it from someone else. Always put yourself in their shoes & how you would feel.
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers